Beautiful Rain
by J-leeDixon
Summary: Daryl/OC - One taught the other how to develop some righteous anger, one taught the other how to be less angry. They both taught the other that they are beautiful. M rating for language, adult situations and eventual smut. Mentions of anxiety disorder, social anxiety, depression, weight issues, etc. Don't read if insecure characters annoy/bore you. Let's keep this hate-free, please
1. Chapter 1

**ATTENTION: I am basing Daryl on Season 5 Daryl, i.e. more confident and outspoken. This will be a little passion project of mine. It is mainly about the romance that will develop between Daryl and the OC, but this story will also deal with issues like anxiety disorder, social phobia, weight issues and all the insecurities that come with it. If you are unable to understand what people who suffer from those things are going through or if you are unable to empathize with people suffering from it, then this story won't be for you. If you think insecure people are annoying, then please don't read any further. The rest of you, I hope you will enjoy it and won't feel so alone anymore.**

**For pictures of how I imagine the OC's body type, go to jaylee8301 dot tumblr dot com**

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><p><span><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The atmosphere in the bar, which her friend had picked out for their get-together, was friendly and laid back. It was probably the reason why she wasn't sweating and nervously tapping her fingernails on the wooden surface of their table, yet. She kept squirming uncomfortably in her seat, though, wringing her hands repeatedly in her lap under the table. _Why do I keep doing this? It never gets any better. _Social phobia was a bitch. It made activities, like enjoying an evening out with your friends, impossible. Rainey kept trying though. She had kept trying for all her life, always motivated to have fun with her friends and to have a good time, but as soon as they would enter a restaurant or a bar, she felt like all eyes were automatically on her, studying and judging her. She barely ever dined out, because she just knew that people saw her fuller figure and immediately thought 'Great, Fatty needs to stuff her face with more meat, huh?' Not a pleasant feeling, but she was never able to shake it. Tonight was no different. Thankfully her friends were able to distract her from time to time and she was able to relax a little. Well, maybe tonight was a little different than usual, because Rainey had found another source of distraction. Unfortunately her girlfriend had noticed.

"What is it about that guy, Rainey?" Anna grinned with a shake of her head. "He's definitely not the type you usually find attractive, but yet you keep looking over there the whole time."

"I don't know." Rainey shrugged and wrung her hands again. "He looks interesting. There's something about him. He's interesting to look at." Simone had a point. He really wasn't the type of man Rainey usually felt herself drawn to. She liked tall guys with a broad built. She was 5'7" and with her dress size fluctuating between 12 and 14 (most of the time it tended to be 14), she liked guys who would be able to make her feel smaller when being wrapped in their arms. At least that's what she fantasized about. She had never been with a guy like that. Nobody had given her that feeling of being small and delicate yet, but oh, how she wished for someone who would. The guy at the bar didn't look like he would be the man for the job. He didn't look too much taller than her. Maybe about 5'9 or 5'10. He had broad shoulders and absolutely amazing arms, giving the impression that he was quite strong and agile, but overall, he was thin and lean. Next to him, she would feel even bigger. Not that it mattered... Guys with a built like him were never interested in women with a built like hers. Nothing ever came of her crushes, but she enjoyed them while they lasted, so right now, she enjoyed looking at him for a while.

Rainey bit her bottom lip in order to stifle a smile, when she saw him shake his head to the side once again. His dark hair was a long and wild mess, and it kept falling in his eyes. She liked his hair. She liked his looks. He wasn't good-looking in a conventional way, but like she had told Simone, there was something interesting about him and it made her look over there repeatedly.

"So, how was work, Rainey?" Anna asked her, knowing that Rainey had more trouble than not at the office she worked at.

"Next question." Rainey laughed a little and took a sip of her Coca Cola. She hated alcohol. She just didn't like the taste.

"Your boss is still being an ass to you?"

"Yeah." Rainey got stomach cramps just thinking about her boss. The way he looked at her, all authoritative and arrogant, letting her know with just a single gaze, that he was better than her. Then the snide remarks, belittling her and letting her know that he thought she was stupid. She didn't know how she always ended up in situations like that. It was like it was destined for people with social phobia to have those kind of people in their life. People that challenged them and tested how much an individual was able to take before they broke down. "Can we not talk about it? Bad enough I have to go back there in the morning. How's your little brother recovering?" Rainey turned her attention back on the beautiful Russian woman, knowing that her little brother had been bitten by a neighbor dog.

"He's fine. Just scared of dogs now." Anna explained, while Rainey caught glimpse of the interesting stranger moving, out of the corner of her eye. Her attention shifted, and she watched the guy walk towards the restroom. He had a nice strut going on. He seemed confident, but not in a cocky kind of way. "Aaand I lost you." Anna laughed.

"Oh shut up!" Rainey blushed and held her clammy, cool hands up to her heated cheeks. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Anna smiled and put her hand on Rainey's knee for a moment in an affectionate gesture. "It's nice to see you enjoy yourself a little."

"I'm trying." Rainey gave her friend a brave smile.

"I know. And we all appreciate it every time you come with us. Now... we should get him over here." Anna grinned as Rainey gaped at her in shock and terror.

"Are you insane? No!"

"Oh come on, Rainey. What's it gonna hurt?"

"Well, it's gonna hurt because he will be interested in you." Rainey said it without reproach. She was used to men being more interested in her girlfriends than they were in her. For Rainey, her experience with men had always been one of two extremes. They either made fun of her or they really dug her curves so much, that they made tasteless and lewd remarks. No one had ever had any genuine interest in her. She wasn't ugly, people often told her that she had such a pretty face... but unfortunately she had that body which caused people to either ridicule or objectify her. There hadn't been an in between so far.

"Here's how I see it, Rainey. You want a boyfriend. You want someone to sweep you off your feet, but you never ever want to meet someone new. Prince Charming isn't gonna show up on your doorstep one day."

"You sound like my grandmother." Rainey groaned. She had heard that line a lot in the past ten years. Her mother and grandmother had both been married with a kid at age 20. Rainey being single, with no man in sight, at age 29 was just unacceptable to them.

"But she is right. How do you wanna meet someone, if you keep closing yourself off to men? Come on, just for fun... Let's just see if we can engage him in a conversation or something. As soon as he turns out to be an ass we can just leave."

"No. I don't feel ready for something like that at all. I need to feel really good for that, and I don't. Not today." Rainey told her friend while looking at her imploringly. "I just wanna sit here and look at him a little."

"Fine." Anna sighed. "Even if you don't have any faith in men, I think that there are men out there who do realize how beautiful you really are. They are probably too intimidated by your beauty to talk to you."

"Stop." Rainey blushed furiously at the compliment and quickly took another sip of her ice-cold beverage. Some people told her she was pretty, her friends told her that she was beautiful, and even though she didn't think of herself as ugly, she still didn't believe them. Never has, never will.

Rainey and Anna kept talking for a while, making Rainey temporarily relax and forget about other people, but then... it happened... one of her worst nightmares popped up. _No, no, no! Come on! Please no! Ugh, why me? _This time she started sweating slightly and her squirming got more intense. It was like she was going through the five stages of grief within 5 seconds. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. She accepted that there was no way around it... She had to go pee.

Yep, it truly was one of her worst personal nightmares. She always peed before leaving the house and only ever sipped her drinks very, very slowly, because drinking too much meant having to pee for sure, and that, in turn, meant, having to get up in front of all the other people in that bar and walk to the bathroom, which was at the other end of the bar. She always felt like a bull in a china shop. No, scratch that... Like an elephant in a china shop. All shaky legs, squeezing by the tables, trying not to bump into anything with her too wide hips, and look like a fool. She kept staring towards the restroom, mapping out the best and fastest route inside her head. The fact that she would have to pass by the bar, right by the interesting stranger, only added to her nervousness. It meant that he might see her. He might see her and give her a judgmental or disgusted look, telling her with just his eyes, what he thought of her, just like a lot of other people Rainey met in her day-to-day life. She was able to take it from people she wasn't interested in, mostly because she was used to it, but from someone she thought of as attractive? That always stung.

"Damn it..." Rainey sighed. "I gotta pee."

"Alright. I'll stay and watch our stuff." Anna gave her friend a gentle smile. She knew things other people wouldn't think twice about were tough on Rainey due to her anxiety issues. She knew it, but she didn't quite understand it. However, she thought that Rainey was brave for trying to overcome her fears day after day after day. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah... It'll be alright." Rainey smiled bravely, then she took a deep breath and got up from her chair. She swallowed hard and tried to keep her gaze straight ahead, not wanting to see the looks other people were giving her as she went on her way.

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><p>Daryl had come into the bar for his daily after-work drink. It had become a habit for him in the past three months, ever since the night he had found Merle on the floor of their shared bathroom; dead from an accidental drug overdose. He missed his brother. Merle might have been shitty company, but at least he had been company at all. Even though people described him as a loner, Daryl was the kind of loner, who didn't really like being alone. He knew it made no sense, but that was just how it was.<p>

Daryl started internally cursing his new habit, when he found himself getting his ear chewed off by an old pal of Merle's. Harv Whitaker who kept reminiscing about the 'good old times'. He brought up things Daryl wasn't proud of and didn't like hearing. Yes, he missed his brother, but Merle's death had also freed him. He wasn't quite able to explain it to himself, but he felt like he was now free to live his own life and become his own person. Before, he'd been on his own a lot, too, but he'd always waited for Merle to come back and take over his life again, telling him what to do and expecting his younger brother to follow him blindly. Which he had, for years and years and years. He had been ashamed of Merle and of himself, because he had never really had any own opinions. Actually, he'd had them, but he had never voiced them. What he had voiced had been Merle's opinions. His father's opinions... Merle had been a lot like their old man, in a way. And Daryl had started to take after Merle. He had been destined to be a younger version of Merle, and therefore, a younger version of their own father, but now that both of them were gone, he was free to become a better person. He had the chance to start over and he was taking it. He was trying.

He also tried sitting through story after story Harv was telling, but after an hour it just got to be too much. Some other guys he knew had come in and he took the chance to get away from Harv, and join those guys at their table. "Gotta go." he mumbled and grabbed his half-full beer bottle. He got off the bar stool and then swung around to go in the other direction, only to be stopped again when he full on collided with something. Well,... someone...

Rainey gasped in shock for two reasons. Number one being the shock of suddenly slamming into a very solid body, and number two being the shock of feeling a lot of very cold liquid soaking through the thin material of her top and chilling her skin, causing her to shiver involuntarily. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz... Sorry. Did I hurt you?" she started apologizing profusely right away.

Daryl looked down into the face of a visibly shaken, wide-eyed young woman. He was confused. _Why's she apologizin'? I ran into her. Shit,I spilled ma damn beer all over her. _"Stop." he told her. His gruff town made her freeze and she looked at him at a loss for words. Daryl noticed a strong blush creeping into her cheeks, and he noticed her opening and closing her mouth several times, guessing that she was probably trying to think of something to say. She seemed extremely flustered and he had no idea why. Their collision hadn't been that bad.

"I'm sorry." she all but whispered, then she bit her lip and let her eyes dart around them nervously, before they landed back on his.

"Nah... wasn't your fault." he said, while he let his eyes travel up and down her body. "You alright? Fuck... I'm sorry about that." he pointed towards her beer-soaked chest area. "Hold on... gonna get ya a towel or something. Hey Wally..." he called out to the bartender.

"It's okay... I'm sorry..." she stammered and suddenly spurred back into action and walked past him towards the restroom at a brisk pace. People were looking and she was not able to handle all the attention. Also, having that interesting looking guy look at her like that, was making her so nervous that she felt like she was about to faint. Daryl watched her until she had vanished behind the door to the restroom, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip and feeling like an ass. He was sure he had just ruined the poor girl's night.

_Nothing I can do about it now._ He turned back towards the bar and had Wally get him another beer, then he joined the guys at the table, but he kept an eye on the door to the restroom, wanting to make sure that he hadn't somehow harmed the woman.

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><p>Rainey stayed in the bathroom for a while. She needed to dry her top and also, she needed to work up the nerve to go back out there. She was sure that everybody was laughing at her and was pitying the poor fellow from the bar, who'd gotten steamrolled by the elephant that she was. Once she felt dry enough, she took another deep breath and left the restroom. She was clenching and unclenching her fists repeatedly at a fast pace on her way back to the table.<p>

"Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" Anna asked when Rainey was back.

"I'm fine. Just embarrassed, as usual." she muttered as she remained standing and started digging through her purse. "I need a smoke. I'm going outside for a moment. Is that okay?"

"That you're smoking? No. Going outside? Yes, sure. Go ahead."

"Thanks." Rainey released a breath of relief. They were sitting right next to the exit, so she grabbed her pack of cigarettes and her lighter, and quickly slipped out the door.

As soon as the cool night air hit her, she immediately felt better. She took long and deep breaths, trying to let go of some tension with every exhale. After two minutes she finally lit a cigarette and leaned back against the building as the smoke filled her lungs. Even though studies showed that smoking supposedly made people more nervous, to her, it felt relaxing and soothing. She shoved her lighter into the right side pocket of her jeans, and the bigger pack of smokes in the right back pocket. She watched the cars go by and let her mind wander back to a couple of minutes ago. Once again she wondered, how she always ended up making a fool of herself when she tried so hard not to. Maybe that was it. Maybe she tried too hard, but she wasn't able to turn that off. She had to try hard. It was like it was coded in her genes. It was definitely something her parents had always expected her to do. And she had. She had always given everything, but no matter what she had done and what she had achieved, it had never been enough for them. So she still kept trying. She kept trying to be perfect, even though she knew that she would never be, and that stressed her out beyond belief.

Her head turned towards the entrance of the bar when she heard the noise from inside get louder for a moment, indicating that someone was exiting the building. Her eyes widened and she stood up straighter, her pose becoming more rigid, when she saw the unconventionally handsome stranger come out and walk towards the spot where she stood. She started fidgeting right away, not being able to stop herself from doing it, but hoping he wouldn't notice. He stopped walking about five feet away from her, but her breath hitched when he looked directly at her, looking like he was pondering saying something to her before settling on giving her the slightest of nods. She returned the nod awkwardly, mentally slapping herself upside the head for not being better at this, but she had never understood this whole nodding thing men had going on. Women were different. Woman gave each other these close-mouthed little smiles in these kind of situations. _Damn, why didn't I just do that? No, you had to nod like an imbecile, looking like someone was sloooowly pulling on your hair from behind. No wonder nobody likes you... You act like a three year old._

Daryl was unaware of the inner turmoil of the woman next to him, while he pulled out his own pack of cigarettes. Once he had his lips wrapped around one of the smokes, he put the pack back and patted down his pockets, looking for his lighter. "Damn..." he cursed when it was nowhere to be found. _Must'a left it in my damn coveralls at the shop. _He looked over to the woman who he'd smacked into earlier. She was staring at the ground like it was the most interesting thing ever, making it harder for him to get her attention. He wasn't the type of guy to just chat up random people he didn't know. He was okay jumping in in the middle of a conversation, but he hated taking the first step. He cleared his throat awkwardly and took a step towards her. He swung his left arm out in front of him, not even sure why, but probably to get her attention. Unfortunately it didn't do anything to make her look up, much to his chagrin. He was still hoping she would notice his predicament and just offer up her lighter. No such luck, though. "Got a light?" he finally spoke up, sounding much gruffer than he wanted to.

The young woman looked up at him at last. She nodded hastily and dug her hand into her pocket. She pulled out her lighter and handed it over. "H-here..." Rainey hoped that he wouldn't notice that her hand was trembling while she did it. She was so nervous, it was ridiculous. It was the first time in more than ten years that she had interacted with a man she had found attractive. She was a wreck.

Daryl took the lighter, not noticing the woman's trembling hand, but noticing her overall nervous demeanor. He sighed internally, thinking that he had succeeded in making another woman scared of a Dixon. He wondered if maybe she had gotten hurt after all, and had just been to scared of him to admit it. He opened the silver zippo lighter and held the flame to his cigarette. While he did it, his eyes fell on the letters which had been engraved into the metal.

_Rainey_

_*01/25/1985_

┼ _Probably way too soon._

_Stop smoking, sweetie!_

_S., A. and D._

"Hm..." Daryl scoffed out an involuntary little laugh at reading that, surprising the woman, who he assumed was called Rainey, since she owned the lighter. "Gift from your friends?" he surprised himself by asking, while he handed back the lighter, but somehow the inscription hit his funny bone, making him forget about his own social awkwardness for a moment.

"Yeah..." she blushed again and quickly looked down to hide her smile. The man had smiled at her the teeniest bit, and as ridiculous as it might sound to other people, it kind of made her night.

"Ain't exactly subtle, are they?"

"No." she said and wracked her brain for something clever to say, but as usual, nothing came out, except for some stammering. "No... they're not. No... they hate it... yeah..." She was facepalming inside her head. She sounded like she was uttering her very first words ever. Every toddler was more articulate than her.

"Guess they care, though." Daryl said and wondered why she was so fidgety. He no longer thought that she was scared of him, because she was smiling, and it didn't seem like one of those 'I-better-smile-so-he-doesn't-kill-me-right-away' smiles. It seemed genuine to him, but she still seemed quite nervous. It puzzled him.

"They do. They're good friends." Rainey smiled, her eyes lighting up when she thought about her girlfriends. Unfortunately it was just a momentary distraction. Soon enough the nervousness crept back into her system, reminding her that she was absolutely out of her element by talking to a guy she didn't know. "Uhhmm... I-I'm real sorry about earlier."

"Ain't got to be sorry. Wasn't you. I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm sorry 'bout getting' ya wet."

"Oh..." Rainey blushed furiously at the double entendre. She had an overactive imagination and some not so harmless images of how he would make her wet, made their way into her head. "D-don't worry about it... "

"Daryl." he provided when Rainey trailed off, thinking that she was kind of asking for his name, which she actually wasn't. She just hadn't known what else to say.

She looked at him in surprise when he told her his name. This was a new experience for her. Usually men didn't introduce themselves to her. She was the fifth wheel, just getting a handshake because she was in a group of beautiful woman. Nobody had ever introduced themselves just to her. Not outside of work and not without a creepy smile and a weird handshake that lasted way too long, and which usually got followed by suggestive remarks. It was either that or getting ignored. Daryl was being kind of nice, though. But maybe that was just because he felt he had to make up for spilling his beer on her? She wasn't sure, but even though she doubted his motives for being decent to her, it still felt nice for a change. "I'm Rainey... Behr. Oh, but not Behr as in B-E-A-R... I know my name sounds like a Care Bear, like it could be the name of Cloudy Bear's wife, but it's actually B-E-H-R."

Daryl wasn't able to fight the smirk that broke out on his face at her rambling. The name was kind of ridiculous, but in a positive way. If a Dixon would ever use such a word, he would call it cute. _Kinda suits her, _he thought, when he studied her more closely for a moment. He thought that she was quite pretty, which caused him to be even more confused by her behavior. He thought pretty people had it together and were confident most of the time. The woman in front of him seemed to be anything but confident. She was pretty flustered and he wasn't able to figure out why. He watched her flick her cigarette to the ground and put it out by stepping on it.

"Gonna go back in, I guess..." she smiled nervously and pointed towards the door.

"Alright." Daryl nodded. "Thanks for the light."

"You're welcome, Daryl." she told him while she walked past him. He gave her another nod and watched her disappear behind a door for the second time that night. It was weird, but for a split-second, when she had said his name, he had thought that it had sounded pretty good coming from her lips. It left him with his spirits slightly lifted. He had never been the most socially apt person, but encounters like these showed him, that making an effort sometimes paid off. It might not have been the best conversation ever, but it had been pleasant enough for him. When he walked back inside, his gaze automatically traveled to the table that Rainey was occupying with her friend, and when she looked at him, he send her third slight nod, before he returned to his table. He didn't see how Rainey wore a face-splitting smile while she looked back at her friend, and actually held her cool hands up to her glowing cheeks.

"Oh my God, Rainey! See, this is what happens when you open yourself up to opportunities." Anna's grin was knowing as well as happy. "Maybe we should come here more often."

"Yeah, maybe we should." Rainey giggled with excitement. It might have meant nothing to Daryl, but he had truly made her day. Actually, her entire year. She could safely say that, because the year was almost over and Daryl being nice to her had been the best thing to happen to her in 2014.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**2 weeks later**

Rainey's alarm rang longer than it usually did, but only because she had to come running from the bathroom to turn it off, instead of just reaching out from underneath her cozy blanket to hit the snooze option on the screen of her phone. She had been up for half an hour already, which was a damn miracle. Usually Rainey had the hardest time getting out of bed in the morning, especially during the darker and cooler months. Staying wrapped up in that toasty cocoon her bedding provided always sounded so much better than getting up, getting dressed and facing the merciless world again. Today, though, she was in good spirits. She couldn't wait to get her day started, because tonight Anna and her would go back to that bar they had been to two weeks prior. The night she had admired and met Daryl. The only guy who'd been kind of nice to her in forever. He had given her a little confidence boost and she had practically been floating the day after meeting him. Now she was craving to have that feeling back for another day, and she had said ‚yes' right away when Anna had suggested that they should go back there and see if he's there again. She was perfectly aware of the fact that he either might not show up, or that he might not talk to her again, even if he did show up, but she didn't really care. If nothing happened, she would be perfectly happy with just sitting back and watching him a little again. That was **if **he showed up, of course. If not, she would just see the night as a reward for having completed another grueling work week. Tonight Simone and Danni wanted to tag alone to check out that bar and Daryl, and three girlfriends provided even more distraction from her social discomfort than just one, so tonight shouldn't be too bad one way or another.

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><p>Work had actually turned out to be okay. Her boss hadn't come into the office today, so Rainey had been able to be quite relaxed during her six hours at the office. It had turned out to be a great start to a good day, which hopefully would end great as well. After getting off of work at 2 pm, Rainey did her usual pre-weekend grocery shopping. Once she had unpacked all her bags, she grabbed the two pieces of chicken breast filet she had bought, sliced them up into bite-size pieces and stir-fried them in a skillet with some ginger, while potatoes, bell peppers and leek were roasting in the oven. After eating, she made herself a cup of coffee, which she enjoyed while she cuddled up on her sofa and watched a DVRed episode of The Big Bang Theory. Her DVR was about to burst. Yeah, she watched way too much TV, she knew that, but what else was a girl to do? While she forced herself to go out with her girlfriends at least once a week, they all had jobs and boyfriends, and were too tired to go out during work nights, so Rainey just threw on her sweats and got comfy on the couch with her laptop in her lap and her phone by her side, surfing the internet, texting with her friends and watching her favorite shows while she snacked on too many cookies (or potato chips, when she was really frustrated. Chocolate when it was her time of the month). More often than she liked to admit she found some good online porn in the form of pictures, stories or clips, and ended up masturbating herself to sleep on the nights when her friends didn't have time or didn't feel like texting their fingers sore. She liked texting better than talking on the phone. She had an aversion towards phones and she always ended up getting cut off during a conversation. She could be quite chatty when she felt comfortable, but it seemed like no one was all that interested in what she had to say, so she often sat back and listened and only offered advice if asked directly. It was funny how her friends always complained about getting cut off by their various family members when they talked to them on the phone, when they were doing the same when they were all out together. They were all professional "cut off-ers". They didn't just cut of Rainey, but Simone cut off Danni, then Danni cut off Anna, and so on and so on. They didn't mean anything by it and Rainey didn't get angry about it, but while the others didn't think much of it, Rainey thought that she just wasn't telling interesting enough stories. It was ridiculous to think like that, because they were her best friends, she knew that, but she wasn't able to change the way she felt. "You're nothing. Nobody cares about you." That's what her parents had told her from an early age on. Ever since she could remember, actually, and that knowledge was burned into her brain forever. <em>If my own parents can't love me, how can anyone else? If they don't care what I have to say, how can others? <em>She grew up thinking that she was a bother to every- and anyone, so to this day she kept trying not to be too much of a bother to the people around her. She never asked for help, even when she desperately needed it, because she didn't want to burden anyone else. She had friends, who were willing to help, but still Rainey was often left to deal with her problems by herself, simply for the reason that she never told anyone when she had trouble doing or dealing with something by herself. Unfortunately her friends weren't mind readers and Rainey was very good at acting like everything was okay, which was why sometimes they simply weren't able to tell when she was struggling.

Right now she was the center of attention within their little group, though. Everybody had been ecstatic for her about having been able to talk to that guy she liked. They were very proud that she hadn't just bolted. So what if she had stammered her way through it? It would be better next time. Her friends were sure of it, and they all hoped that that Daryl guy would be back and that maybe they would get to talk again. The whole thing made Rainey seriously nervous, but for the first time in a long time she was excited about something that didn't involve something happening on a TV show, and she guessed it was a step in the right direction. Maybe this would get her to wanting to get out more in the future, maybe make her more open to meeting new people. It had her more motivated than usual and that was good,... plain and simple.

Soon after she had finished her coffee, it had been time for her to get ready for her night out. She put up her hair while she took a quick shower and until her body lotion had been absorbed by her skin. As soon as she had put on her matching black bra and panties, she removed the clip from her hair and let the auburn tresses tumble down to spill over her shoulders, her breasts and to the middle of her back. She grabbed her hair brush and walked to the full length mirror in her bedroom. She watched herself brush her hair until it looked like the surface of a shiny, polished chestnut, not realizing that she wore a little smile the whole time. Soon her mind drifted off, like it always did, and she let her gaze travel lower, looking at her own body in her mirror. Her smile slowly disappeared when memories started to play out in front of her inner eye.

_About 9 years ago, her depression had been so bad that she had lost her job, and she'd had no other choice than to move in with her mother for some time, until she was well enough to get back on her feet again. It had been morning and she had stood in front of a mirror in her old room, much like she was now. She had only worn pants and a bra, when her mother had come barging in. „Oh Jesus Christ, you are __**so **__fat. You look disgusting." That had been her mother's lovely way of saying good morning. Rainey had started crying, making her mother laugh at her, calling her ridiculous and way too sensitive for this world._

Rainey stopped brushing her hair and let her hands rest loosely by her sides. „What in the world am I doing?" she questioned herself. „Like he is going to talk to me again. He just felt sorry for spilling his drink on me. I really am pathetic. Just because he told me his name doesn't mean that he wants to get married and have ten thousand kids. He's a good looking guy. He probably has a girlfriend who looks more like Anna or Danni or Simone. Blonde and beautifully slim and with a gorgeous smile. He would never be interested in a cow like me." she told herself, then she turned around and sat on the bed, fighting tears. „God, you're stupid." she chastised herself next. „That's not what tonight is about. I know he is not interested. He was just nice. Nice guys still exist. It's just about having a good time. He might not even be there. Get it together, Behr." It wasn't like she had fallen head over heels in love with him that night, that wasn't it, but she developed crushes pretty quickly and started acting like a hopeful, naive teenager, imagining what it would be like to get the boy she liked. Yep, she was definitely pathetic, just like her family had always told her. Not having boyfriends like everybody else must have stumped her development a little. She didn't feel like a grown up most of the time.

Before she started feeling so bad about herself that she wouldn't make it out the door tonight, she pulled herself out of it and pushed the memories to the back of her mind. She squeezed into her dark blue jeans, slipped her black tunic-style top over her head and then sat back on the bed in order to put on her knee-high leather boots without falling over. It was her favorite outfit, because it was comfortable and looked good on her, and that was just what she needed whenever she went out to a public place. She put all her essentials in her purse, grabbed her black leather jacket, then left her apartment and went down to her car. Since she was the designated driver, she had to pick up her friends at their meeting place by the post office. The four of them all lived pretty close together and the post office was pretty much in the middle between all their places, so whenever they met up for something, they met up there.

Half an hour later they were already entering the bar. Rainey didn't dare look around, she just focused on Anna's back while they found a table close to the exit again, not wanting to see if people were looking at her.

„Uuuuuhhh, he's here." Anna whispered over her shoulder, making Rainey's heart pound something awful. She started shaking as nervousness crashed through her body like a tidal wave, and she was glad that she was able to sit down quickly.

„Which one is he?" Simone asked with a curious smile when they were all seated.

„The guy with the dark, messy hair. The one with the leather vest and the mole... See him?" Anna described Daryl to Danni and Simone.

„Don't you all look at once!" Rainey whispered in a panic after having caught a glimpse of Daryl herself.

„Oh my God..." Danni did that thing that was a mix between a gasp and a laugh while she looked over to the bar.

„Yeah, I know... not my usual type... not that good-looking..." Rainey said with a sigh, but Danni quickly cut her off.

„No, that's not what I meant. I know him!" Danni grinned.

„WHAT?" It wasn't just Rainey who was pretty much yelling the word out in surprise, but Simone and Anna as well.

„Shhhh..." Danni laughed, when they had drawn the attention of a lot of the patrons inside the bar to their table. „I mean, you said his name was Daryl, but there's more than one Daryl in this town, I'm sure... I didn't even... He's kind of my co-worker. He's one of the mechanics at the dealership." Just like Rainey, Danni worked in an office. She worked for a motorcycle dealership and was in constant contact with the mechanics, because she was the one who ordered parts for them and things like that.

„You work with him?" Rainey couldn't believe it. „Lucky bitch. Why does stuff like that never happen to me? It sure would make work easier... Or not... Might not be able to focus."

While Rainey started talking to herself, the other girls wanted to know more. „What's he like? Is he nice?" Anna wanted to know.

„He doesn't look nice." Simone said before Danni was able to answer. Simone had a thing for pretty boys, so Daryl definitely wasn't her type. She liked her guys prim and proper,... A little preppy even.

„Well... I don't know." Danni thought about it for a moment. „He has never been unfriendly or anything. He's quiet. Doesn't talk much like the others do. He's a little rough around the edges, but he seems... yeah, nice... I guess. He's well liked. Dependable, I guess. Oh, his brother died a couple of weeks ago. He needed a day off for the funeral, but that's all I know. Sorry I can't tell you much else, but like I said... he's quiet."

„Oh... that's rough." Rainey didn't have siblings, but she figured it would be hard to lose one, way before their time. Wanting to get another little glimpse of Daryl, Rainey let her eyes travel back towards the bar. Her breath hitched in shock, when she found him looking at her. She blushed furiously and she averted her eyes faster than anyone could blink. She started wringing her hands in earnest, almost dislocating a finger in the process. She felt Danni lift her arm and heard her utter a quiet „hi", and knew, that Danni was waving at Daryl, greeting him from across the room.

„Rainey, what are you doing? Come on, look at me." Simone coaxed her gently. Rainey slowly looked up at one of her oldest friends and sighed miserably.

„On a scale of 1 to 10... how idiotic did I act just now?"

„Don't beat yourself up, sweetie." Simone was the one who knew Rainey the longest and the best. She knew things the others didn't, and she was the one who understood Rainey's condition and behavior the best. „You're just nervous. It's alright. It will pass. Shake it off and move on. You can do it. I would give you a hug, but that might look awkward right now." she winked jokingly at her, making the mortified young woman smile.

„Right."

Simone inconspicuously checked out Daryl some more and gave a little shrug when she was done. „He's not my type, but he looks like he could give you a good roll in the sack."

„Oh God... like that would ever happen." Rainey laughed. „Even if hell would freeze over and he would be my boyfriend one day, I'd never ever have sex with him. Not with my clothes off."

„You'll think differently once you have a boyfriend." Danni said.

„Nope." Rainey shook her head. „I've been there remember? With Dennis? We only had sex with our pants around our ankles and even that was embarrassing to me. So no, I won't think differently."

„Honey, you were 15 years old back then and you were together 4 months before he just showed up with a new girlfriend on his arm one day. That seriously doesn't count as a relationship. You had no clue what a real relationship was and I think you still don't have a clue. Trust me, when a guy comes along who will make you feel good about yourself and who wants to be with you and wants to show you how much he desires you, then you won't even think twice about it. Dennis was a 15 year old horny teenager who just wanted to get his rocks off. And now, 14 years later, I still want to kill him for doing this to you." Danni muttered angrily.

„Don't,... I'm over it." Rainey tried to placate her.

„You're not." Simone cut in. „Or you wouldn't have stayed single since then. There were boys who were interested in you. Oliver? Dominic? Frank? Michael? Especially Oliver, he loved you so much Rainey..."

„No he didn't. Frank, Michael and Dominic were just like Dennis. They were only interested in me after I came out of hiding after summer break and had lost all that weight. They just wanted sex. And Oliver was the same. I still remember how he literally walked around me in a circle at the county fair, gaping, when he saw my new, slim and pretty body. He loved me as his best friend from elementary school. He was just curious what it would be like... And then he was jealous because I got together with his friend Dennis."

„He wasn't jealous." Simone corrected her. „He was heartbroken."

„No he wasn't." Rainey waved her off. The story of her and Oliver was a long and complicated one, which had started in first grade of elementary school, and had ended when he had moved away at age 17. „Doesn't matter anymore anyway. I saw on Facebook that he's married with two kids by now."

„Whatever... All I'm saying is, that there once was someone with genuine interest, but what happened with Dennis and the stuff your parents always told you made you sabotage yourself. You always wanted a boyfriend, but you never opened yourself up to anyone ever again. And now here we are... 14 years later and all you know about relationships is what you had with Dennis and the things we tell you about from our own lives. You are such a wonderful person, Rainey, you deserve to have a partner who makes you happy and who will take all those insecurities away from you and who will show you how wonderful love and partnership can be. And every man out there, who is smart enough to want to get to know you will be blessed with a beautiful, sweet, funny and caring girlfriend. Screw Dennis, screw your parents, screw everyone who ever made you feel bad and show them that they are idiots. Stop proving them right. I won't allow you to do that anymore. I love you way too much to see you get unhappier and unhappier with every year. Next time he looks at you, you're gonna show him that beautiful smile of yours, you hear?" Simone looked at her imploringly. She wanted Rainey to have fun and have happiness in her life, and some light flirtation with Daryl might be exactly what would push her in the right direction. Even just a little conversation without any flirtation would be great. Anything to quell some of Rainey's fears would be awesome.

„I can't promise you that, but I'll try, okay?"

„Fair enough." Simone was okay with Rainey wanting to try. Better than having her flat-out refuse, like she had done a million times before.

„You know, I usually don't support your decision to be a smoker..." Danni spoke up next. „... but I think you should have a cigarette right now. Maybe he is up for his next cigarette soon..."

„Oh God... doesn't that look weird if we are outside at the same time again?"

„Not if you go out first." Anna laughed. „Come on, go. Even if he doesn't come out, you look like you might need one."

„You're not wrong." Rainey scoffed and opened her purse to get out her pack and lighter. „I'll be right back."

„Take your time." the three women said in unison, laughing when they realized that they had all been thinking the same thing.

„Unbelievable." Rainey shook her head with a laugh and quickly took the couple of steps towards the door and went outside. The crisp night air once again turned out to be wonderfully soothing and refreshing. It felt so good, that Rainey actually forgot, that she was (kind of) supposed to anxiously wait for Daryl to appear outside. She only remembered that, when she heard the door behind her open, while she was lighting her smoke, and her heartbeat picked up accordingly. She took a long first drag while she turned her head to see who had come out, and it was a damn miracle, that she didn't choke on the smoke, when it turned out to be Daryl.

„Hey." he greeted with a nod when he came to stand in front of her, only two or three feet away from her this time, and lit himself a cigarette.

„Hey." Rainey hoped that her smile looked decent and not like she was an escaping inmate of an insane asylum.

„Got my own this time." Daryl said and lifted the last three fingers of his right hand to show her a zippo lighter similar to hers, which he was holding in his palm.

_What the hell do I say to that? _Rainey thought as she kept smiling at him, giving him her „beautiful smile", like she had promised Simone. _I can't believe he's talking to me again. And of course, now I don't know what to say. I'm such an idiot. Come on! Think! _„Well, just in case it craps out on you, I got you covered." she finally said and tapped her right pant pocket where the outline of her lighter was visible.

„Good to know." Daryl said with the hint of a smile. A moment of silence followed. Daryl didn't know why, but he somehow felt compelled to say something... to keep the conversation going. He had been surprised at his own pleasant surprise when Rainey and her friends had entered the bar earlier. He had thought about his encounter with her once, a couple of days ago. He'd seen a girl with a Care Bear t-shirt at the grocery store. It had put a little smirk on his face when he'd remembered her speech about how her name sounded like she was Cloudy Bear's wife. The mini-conversation they'd had, had left him with lifted spirits, and the memory of it had done the same, so in that instance he had briefly wondered if that living and breathing Care Bear he'd run into and her friend would ever show up at the bar again. „Ya know Danni, huh?"

„I do. She's been my friend since... wow,... 7th grade I think." Rainey was surprised when she realized that she had been friends with her for about 16 or 17 years. Time really did fly.

„Small world." Daryl muttered before he exhaled a cloud of smoke.

„It is." Rainey agreed.

Daryl nodded and absently let his gaze travel down her body. When he caught glimpse of the outline of her lighter again, he remembered the inscription. S., A and D. „Those girls in there... they're the ones who gave ya that lighter? You the only smoker in the bunch?"

„Yeah. We all used to smoke during our teenage years... You know, at age 14 or 15,... when it was the cool thing to do. We all quit eventually. I quit all the time, but I also keep going back to it all the time. Don't know... just calms me down I guess." She quickly shut up when she felt like she was starting rambling. It's what happened when the dam broke and she started to feel comfortable and someone was actually listening. Then she could quickly get a little too chatty and open. And now she was shrinking back inside herself, because she felt like she had been rambling about stupid stuff, which he didn't even ask about. All this social anxiety stuff was the weirdest thing and she hated it with a passion.

„Yeah. I get that." Daryl said, because smoking had the same effect on him. He looked around for a moment, before he looked back at her face again, but she wasn't looking at him. Rainey was looking out into the street, watching the traffic and finding the cars extremely interesting. It gave Daryl the opportunity to study her a little. It was something he often did with people, without even really realizing he was doing it. Studying facial expressions and body language felt almost natural to him. It helped him figuring people out. He considered it to be somewhat of a mechanism to protect himself. Being able to read a person made him able to anticipate what was going to happen or what was going on with that person, and that gave him time to react and remove himself from a situation if need be. The woman in front of him had seemed more at ease this time around, but now, out of nowhere, she was nervous again. She was hugging herself and closing herself off, which seemed odd to him. They'd been having a pleasant talk again, he had no clue where it supposedly went wrong just now. It was a little mystery and kind of intriguing. „So..." he picked the conversation back up, wondering when he had turned into such a social butterfly. It was almost like her repeated silence was coaxing him to come out of his shell more, although he still wasn't able to explain the compulsion he felt to keep talking to her. He was usually fine with standing there and smoking in silence, even if it was an awkward one. „This gon' be your new hangout?"

„Maybe. Anna and I liked it here the last time, so today we brought Danni and Simone to check it out, too." Rainey replied, conveniently leaving out that they had mostly come to check **him **out.

„Ya liked it? I almost crushed ya..." Daryl said with a little crooked smile.

„I'm still convinced that that was my fault. It's always the elephant's fault..." she said the last part quietly to herself, but Daryl caught it anyway, making him frown, while Rainey kept talking at a normal volume again. „I'm too big and too klutzy to roam around freely, I guess." she laughed self-deprecatingly and lowered her head to conceal the redness that was tinging her cheeks. She didn't know why she had said that, but it was her M.O. Make fun of herself before anyone else would be able to do it.

_Too big? _Daryl was still frowning while he let his eyes travel up and down her body once again. _Looks fine to me. What is it with women always thinking they're fat? _He shook his head slightly while he stepped on the cigarette butt. „Nah. Ain't true." he simply stated before he motioned towards the door with his head. „Come on."

They were both finished with their smokes and Daryl led the way back inside. At least until they reached the door. Having manners, Daryl opened it for her and stepped to the side, letting her enter first.

„Oh... thank you!" Rainey's surprise told him that she wasn't used to someone holding the door for her. Her beaming smile made him feel good and made him turn the corners of his mouth up into a little smile, as well.

„Don't mention it." he muttered. He kept his eyes on her, making sure she got to her table alright, then he gave his colleague Danni a little nod and went back to the bar.

„He held the door for you! Wow, he's a gentleman." Anna grinned.

„Oh my God, I'm shaking..." Rainey quickly sat on her trembling hands. The adrenalin from their encounter outside was leaving her body and it showed.

„You're glowing, sweetie." Simone smiled happily at seeing her friend like that. „Did you talk again?"

„We did. About smoking and knowing Danni, I think. It's such a blur right now. He asked a couple of questions." Rainey reported to her friends.

„Uh, he asked questions? That's good. And he smiled... I don't think I've seen him smile before." Danni said all excited. „I like this! Oh wow, maybe he will start asking about you at work..."

„Well, let's not make too much out of two five-minute conversations." Anna, ever the voice of reason, told everybody. She was happy that Rainey finally had a good experience, but she also didn't want her to throw herself into any kind of false hope that her friends were conjuring up with their statements.

„Yeah, you're right." Rainey agreed with a smile. „But it was nice. I hope I didn't act too idiotic. I think I rambled."

„Even if you did, he didn't look like he was bothered in any way." Simone told her. „Did you ask questions, too? Engage him a little?"

„No. I just clammed up a little when I realized I was rambling." Rainey smiled sheepishly.

„That's okay." Danni said. „It was still progress. I'm proud of you."

„We all are." Anna reassured her. The girls then started talking about other things and Rainey was able to just lean back in her chair and let herself process everything and look at Daryl inconspicuously here and there. She was a little sad when she noticed him paying for his drinks and leave a little while later, because it meant the chance for a second smoke break was gone, but she was still happy with the outcome of the evening.

* * *

><p>Of course Daryl did not ask Danni about Rainey when they were at work the next week. Rainey was not occupying his thoughts 247, not at all, but sometimes when he saw Danni, he remembered their conversations in front of the bar and it left him with a good feeling. Danni was very tempted though, to bring up Rainey whenever Daryl stepped into the office, just to see how he would react and if his expression would change. However, she knew how that would look if she suddenly kept bringing up her friend to Daryl, so she refrained from doing so, even though it was really really hard on her. The night at the bar had been so exciting to witness and it had been awesome how happy Rainey had been and how she had still smiled the whole day after. All because of a little conversation with a decent guy. She couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if there would be interest on Daryl's side and if they would get together. She imagined that it would be pretty damn great, but she knew better than to meddle any more than they already were by planning on going back to the bar soon.

What she didn't know was, that she, along with the rest of her friends, wouldn't even have to meddle. Fate had a way of doing that all on its own.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**I'm so happy to see more and more people getting on board with this. I hope it will be a good story for all of us.**

**Thank you so so much for your feedback/reviews. I love reading if/how you guys are relating to Rainey. I'm putting a whole lot of myself and my life in this, so it's interesting and also encouraging to reading your response.**

**Much love and many thanks to:**

**DarylDixon'sLover**

**wabi-sabi1090**

**Nurse jean**

**bluebelle94**

**Erin (I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH, My LOVE)**

**mamareadstomuch2 (Thanks for helping me keep my sanity on some days, lol)**

**snowbird (Merry Christmas to you! So glad to hear you are doing well)**

**Creed757**

**goddess of the nigth**

**jeanf (Love you! Where's the next chapter of your story? ha)**

**redangel2463**

**MamaBrew**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

You know that thing where two people live in the same town for years but never meet, but then when they finally do meet, they keep seeing each other all the time, even though they still frequent the same places as before? That thing was happening to Daryl Dixon right now.

He suddenly kept seeing that woman, called Rainey, everywhere. Out on the streets while passing her by in his car on the weekend, at the bank and at the gas station, etc., etc. Two days ago she had come out of the coffee shop he had been headed to. He had still been a couple of feet away from the door and she had walked in the other direction, so she hadn't seen him. He was sure she hadn't seen him the other times either. If she had, she had been ignoring him and he didn't get the impression that she was that rude. Quite the opposite, actually. Today it was a Monday, 10 days after the last time she had been at the bar, and here she was again, at the register, handing the cashier her credit card, while he stood in the same line with three people between them. While he waited he rested his weight on his forearms on the handlebar of the shopping cart and watched her. He noticed again that she was very pretty. She had big brown eyes, a cute nose with a slightly upturned tip and a mouth with a full bottom lip and a slightly thinner upper lip. She had a great smile that showed off her pearly whites. They seemed perfectly even, but observant people like him noticed, that the two upper front teeth were slightly turned towards the inside where they met, giving the impression that she might have a tiny gap, which she didn't. Daryl thought it made her smile more interesting and even prettier. She also had really beautiful chestnut-colored hair, that fell around her shoulders and down her back in thick waves, and her skin looked creamy and smooth. He also liked her hands. He'd noticed them first when they had been outside smoking. He'd never really paid much attention to how another person's hands looked, but he had noticed hers and had thought of them as pretty with their long and slender fingers and the long-ish, but neat fingernails, which had been filed into a square 'd found himself taking a peek whenever she had lifted her hand up to her mouth to take a drag from her cigarette. What she thought of as „too big" had his full appreciation; her full curves were the material wet dreams were made out of. The words „real fucking feminine" kept popping up inside his head whenever he saw her or thought of her. _A real doll... _Daryl thought before he became more aware of the rest of his surroundings again. The guy in front of him was starting to sigh with annoyance, and was grumbling under his breath. That's when he noticed that the line still hadn't moved and that Rainey looked, once again, quite flustered while she talked to the cashier. Daryl strained his ears, trying to listen in and see what the problem was.

„It's not about funds..." The cashier said. „It's not reading the card at all. It says error."

„This is **not **happening." Rainey was blushing furiously, knowing that the eyes of the other people were not just on her, but also on her purchases, which consisted of a bottle of Coke Zero and two bags of potato chips. She was sure that every single person there was judging her for getting even fatter. Yeah, they might even be right to judge her, but she'd had a bad day, she was down and she needed comfort food.

„Do you have any cash on you?" The cashier asked and Rainey wanted to roll her eyes at her. If she would have had the cash, she probably wouldn't have wanted to use her card for it. She opened her wallet anyway, hoping to maybe find a crumpled up bill somewhere in there, but she already knew it was a lost cause.

„I got it." A deep, kind of familiar, voice suddenly said right next to her. „How much?"

Rainey turned her head, her eyes growing as wide as saucers when she recognized the man who wanted to help her out. „Daryl? No... no, no, no. Please. It's okay, I'll just put it back."

„Nonsense. I owe ya anyway."

„No you don't. Especially not money."

„I ruined your top." He said and looked back at the cashier. „How much?" he asked again.

„4.98." the cashier told him and Daryl quickly handed over a 5 dollar bill, before he proceeded to pick up the bags of chips and handed them to her. „Here ya go."

„Thank you. I'll pay you back, I swear." she was so mortified that she barely dared to look at him.

„No you won't. Don't want it."

„Can you move please?" The cashier cut in.

„Yeah, sorry. You have a nice night." he told Rainey, then he quickly squeezed himself back behind his cart and once again, watched her leave. _She's got a nice ass, too, _he thought wryly when his eyes landed on it. He briefly imagined his hands squeezing it, but quickly shook himself out of it when the line finally moved again.

* * *

><p>Two days later Danni could hardly wait until Daryl would drop by the office. This time she had a damn good reason to bring up Rainey, and see his reaction. Apparently Daryl had been a good Samaritan and had helped her friend out when her credit card hadn't worked. Something about it being demagnetized or something. Danni had to admit that she hadn't really listened after the whole „Daryl had paid for her chips"-part, she had been too busy grinning and imagining their wedding.<p>

„Ah Daryl, good! I have something for you." The moment had finally come shortly before their lunch break.

„Paycheck? Ain't Friday." he frowned.

„No, not a paycheck. It's from Rainey." she said and watched with glee how his frown turned into a surprised expression. „Over there." she pointed to the edge of her desk, where a big, rectangular, green-colored tupperware box was sitting, with an envelope on top. He grabbed the envelope and quickly opened the box and the mouthwatering smell of cupcakes wafted out and filled his nostrils. He closed the box again and tore open the envelope. Inside was a piece of paper that said Thank You! -R. in big, neat letters, and the other thing that was in there, was a 5 dollar bill.

„The hell...?" Rainey had paid him back the 5 bucks and she had made or bought him cupcakes? Either way, it had been 12 damn cupcakes in that box, he figured they had cost more than 5 dollars, especially if they were from a bakery. „That woman can't accept a gift or something?" he turned his frowning gaze towards Danni.

„That's Rainey for you." Danni laughed. „She hates, and I mean absolutely **hates **inconveniencing people. Every time that she feels like she's done just that, she finds twenty ways to apologize and say thank you. She is such a sweetheart and she was very grateful for your help."

„It was nothing." Daryl shrugged, but part of him couldn't help but feel proud. He really was trying to be a better person and it looked like he might be getting there.

„To her it meant a lot. She's not used to decent people."

„What's that mean?"

„Oh... nothing, sorry." Danni didn't like talking about other people behind their backs, even if it wasn't anything bad, so she stopped herself before she blabbed even more.

„Here." Daryl stuffed the thank you-note into his pocket and handed the envelope containing the money back to Danni. „Don't want her money. I didn't mind." he was tempted to give back the cupcakes as well, but they looked and smelled too damn good.

„Alright. I'll give it back to her. Enjoy the cupcakes. She makes them herself and they're to die for. You're a lucky bastard. Only a handful of people ever get to taste some of her awesome creations, and you're one of them." Danni grinned, before she cringed after having kind of blabbed again.

„Hm." Daryl grunted with a nod before he got back to business and told her what he had actually come into the office for. When they were done he took the tupperware box and took it to the break room with him. He got out his turkey sandwich and ate that before he opened the box back up and grabbed one of the cupcakes. They were very soft with a big splash of blue-colored frosting on top. He took a bite and almost moaned. Danni had been right. They were damn good. The cupcake was so moist that it practically melted on his tongue. It had a really pleasant light and lofty texture. He definitely didn't need a glass of milk to wash them down. The frosting tasted like white chocolate which she must have used food coloring on, and the best part? There was a big dollop of freaking Nutella, right in the center of that cupcake. It was paradise to his sweet tooth. Two more bites and the first cupcake was gone, and before he knew it, he'd had four and he was stuffed to the brink. Now he felt like he should write **her** a thank you-note. He closed the box and put it in his locker. He didn't feel like sharing those gems with the other guys. He usually wasn't selfish, but he never got any homemade goods, so these he wanted all to himself for once. He didn't write her a note, but he vowed to himself that he would tell her how good they had been the next time he saw her. Judging by how many times he had seen her in the past week, he was sure they'd run into each other again sooner or later.

* * *

><p>Of course he didn't run into her now that he was waiting for it. He had to wait another whooping 9 days for Rainey to show up at the bar one Friday night in mid-December. This time he had thought about her every single day, wondering each day if it would be the day that he would run into her again and being kind of disappointed at night when he hadn't caught her anywhere. He told himself that he was just eagerly awaiting their next meeting, because he wanted to thank her for the baked goods, not realizing that he might be developing a little bit of an infatuation with her. She kept popping up inside his head every now and then during the day, and he kept thinking about what they had talked about and the impression he had of her and what Danni had said about her, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together he already had. From the way she always squirmed in her seat at the bar, fumbling around with her hands under the table, and how she went from easy-going to nervous in the blink of an eye, he figured that she was socially skilled just as much as he was. Albeit in a different way. People seemed to make her nervous, while Daryl didn't have much of a problem with having a crowd around him. He had trouble initiating contact with them, but once that had been established, he was okay. She seemed to be a bit at a loss for words at first, too, just like him, so maybe she was even slightly more socially inept than him. Out of the two of them, he had been the motor mouth, which was pretty comical to him. He never would have considered himself to be a chatterbox, but she was bringing that out in him a little. At least whenever he talked to her. Granted, he'd only talked to her three times so far (if you counted the supermarket incident), but he had a feeling that it might be like that every time.<p>

So when Danni entered the bar that night, followed by Rainey, Daryl noticeably perked up where he was perched on the edge of a bar stool. Before he could focus too much on the girls, his attention was drawn to the guy next to him.

„Ha! No way!" Phil Norton, another one of Daryl's and Merle's acquaintances, was obviously surprised at the new arrivals. „Out of all the bars in town..."

„The hell are you going on about?" Daryl scowled at him.

„That's my ex." Phil smiled while pointing at the two women.

Daryl's head snapped around to look at Rainey and Danni, before he turned to look at Phil again. „Which one?"

„The hot one." Phil grinned.

„Hm." Daryl grunted, having a weird feeling in his stomach. He assumed Phil meant Rainey, because out of the two girls, he thought Rainey was the hot one.

„We should go over there. Sit with them." Phil suggested. „Haven't seen Danni in a while. Don't worry, we're still on good terms. Won't be awkward."

„Danni?" Daryl was puzzled. „Ya were with Danni?" When Phil nodded, Daryl felt the knot in his stomach loosen again. _Really is a fuckin' small world, _he thought at the same time.

„Yeah, that's what I said. What? Thought I meant the other one? Hell naaww... I like 'em mean and lean. Also, that Rainey chick is hella weird." Phil snorted derisively. „Wait... ya know Danni?"

„Yeah, I work with her." Daryl replied. „Weird how?"

„What?"

„Ya said that Rainey was weird. Weird how?" Daryl wanted Phil to clarify on that.

„Dunno. Danni never really talked about it, but the girl's scared of her own shadow. Can't even answer the phone some days or shit like that. Some anxiety bullshit, don't remember what they called it. Depressed, too. She's just... weird."

_Depressed? How can a girl with a smile like fucking sunshine be depressed? _Daryl wondered, but he kind of got it. He wouldn't call himself depressed, but there had been many days in his life when he had felt so down and had hated himself and the rest of the world, that it had been tough to get out of it again. The information Phil had just provided was another piece of the Rainey-puzzle and it fit right in with her „too big to roam around freely"-remark. The girl probably hated herself and therefore felt uncomfortable around other people. It bummed him out. She seemed nice, and he thought that a pretty girl like her should never have to worry about what other people thought of her. Judging by Danni's „she isn't used to decent people" it sounded like Rainey had to deal with assholes a lot, and that thought bummed him out even more.

„What about it?" Phil's voice cut into his thoughts.

„What about what?" Daryl asked.

„We gonna join them at their table or not?"

Daryl thought about it for a moment. „Maybe they wanna be left alone."

„Nah, it'll be alright. Danni's cool and Rainey's too scared to say no anyway." Phil snickered, making Daryl scowl and want to punch the stupid grin off his face.

„Ain't funny."

„It was a joke, man. Come on."

„You wanna go over there, go. I'm gonna leave them be." Daryl said with finality. He wouldn't have minded joining the women at the table, but the thought that it would make Rainey even more uncomfortable than she already was made him rethink that. A look in her direction was enough to see that she was nervously tapping her foot at a rapid didn't want to be the cause of making that even worse. Unfortunately he wasn't able to keep Phil from going over there, and he watched the guy hug Danni before he sat down on one of the unoccupied chairs, barely nodding at Rainey in greeting.

When she got up from the table a good 20 minutes later, Daryl got ready to go outside, assuming she was going out for a smoke. She was headed towards him instead and for a moment he thought she was coming over to talk to him, but then he noticed that her eyes were firmly focused on the bathroom door. „Hey!" he called out to her when she was almost next to him. Rainey jumped and looked at him with a startled expression. She had been so focused on the door, blending out everything else, that Daryl's voice had scared the living daylights out of her.

„Oh... h-hey..." she stammered, sounding slightly out of breath.

„Coming out for a smoke?" he asked, watching her expression go from shock to pleasant surprise. He was happy, when she started smiling at him.

„Um, yeah. In a minute." she replied, before she quickly made her way to the restroom. She didn't know why, but this bar seemed to give her a case of nervous bladder, making her go pee every time she was there, much to her chagrin.

„Alright." Daryl nodded and slid off his bar stool in order to go outside and wait for his smoke break companion.

* * *

><p>Rainey was on cloud nine. Daryl had asked her if she was going to join him outside. She really couldn't believe that this was happening. That a hot guy was being nice to her with no ulterior motive. Just because. The feeling was almost empowering and the walk back to her table seemed a little less horrible than usual. She grabbed her leather jacket and her pack of smokes and told Danni that she would be right back. Then she went to join Daryl outside. She was just out the door when she stopped for a moment, quickly putting her jacket on, trying to ignore the spike of anxiety when she noticed that Daryl had gone a little farther away from the door and that she would have to pass by a group of three young men, who were also outside smoking. She shrugged on her jacket and was just about to take a step again while adjusting her collar, when suddenly a couple of coins landed on the ground, right at her feet, making her stop in her tracks.<p>

„Hey Thunder Thighs! Dance for us! Make it jiggle, baby!" One of the three guys shouted at her while the other two cat-called and whistled.

Rainey was paralyzed in shock. Unable to go past them and unable to go back inside. She was simply unable to move. Daryl wasn't though. For the fraction of a second he wondered if that what he was witnessing was really happening, but when he realized that it was, in fact, reality, he literally dropped everything and rushed over to the group of guys, who he assumed were barely a day over 21. He grabbed the one who'd thrown the coins and had shouted at Rainey by his shirt and pushed him up against the building. „The fuck you just say to her?" he snarled and pressed his fist a little harder against the guy's chest.

„Whoa, relax man. Just having a little fun." The young guy tried to make light of the situation while he looked at his friends, his eyes begging them for help. He was on his own, however, because his friends were slowly backing away, not wanting to catch a beating from that angry guy.

„Funny. You should take that act on the road, see how many beatdowns you get for spoutin' off that shit!" With a quick yank Daryl pulled the guy away from the wall and literally tossed him at Rainey's feet. „Pick it up."

The guy scrambled to pick up the coins, wincing when Daryl delivered a kick to his ass. „Now get outta here and buy yourself some fucking manners. Don't bother coming back or I'll stomp your ass." Daryl threatened, and if the situation would have been any different, he would have laughed at how quickly the assholes were walking down the street. „You okay?" he knew it was a stupid question, because nobody would be okay after shit like this.

„Yeah." her voice was dull and she didn't really seem to be quite there with him as she nodded slowly. She was shaken, like every time something like this happened, but after years of having this happen sporadically, she was able to handle it without breaking down right then and there. „I'm used to it."

„Used to it? Ya mean this happened before?"

„Yes. Happened before and it will happen again. It's always something. Made fun of, getting judged or something like this..." she explained and Daryl got the impression that she was slowly getting over the initial shock, because she was taking on some color again.

_Why? _Daryl had no clue why anyone would do that to her. Especially strangers who didn't even know her. While Rainey took a deep breath, he looked around until he spotted his cigarettes and the lighter he had dropped when it had all happened. „Come on." he gingerly put his hand on her elbow and guided her over to that spot, remembering that smoking calmed her down. He crouched down and picked the items back up, then he took out two cigarettes and put them both between his lips, lighting them simultaneously before he handed one over to her. „Here..." he mumbled with his cigarette still loosely clamped between his lips.

„Thank you." Rainey mustered a brave smile while she took the cigarette from him. Despite being frazzled, she was very well aware of the spark of electricity she felt, when her fingertips briefly touched his. Unbeknown to her, Daryl had felt it, too, and the foreign sensation made him watch her hand with a puzzled frown, like her hand was holding the explanation to what he had just felt. „I'll give you one of mine before we go back in."

That made him shake himself out of his stupefied state. „Hell no, you won't. I'm betting those cupcakes cost ya more than 4.98 to make. We're more than even. Ain't about that anyway. It's a gift. Just accept it."

Finally her smile widened again, and she even laughed a little, even though her hand was still trembling a little. „They weren't that expensive to make, don't worry. I just wanted to say thank you."

„Ya did. I should have sent you a damn thank you-note for those. They were damn good."

„Yeah?" Rainey smiled even more. „You liked them? That's great. I'm glad."

„Damn near inhaled them." he laughed a little. „You're good at baking then, huh?"

„Ha... yeah." she scoffed humorlessly before she moved her hands up and down next to her body in a sweeping motion. „Exhibit A."

„What's that mean? Exhibit A?"

„I mean... well..." Rainey blushed when he looked at her expectantly. „Just look at me."

„I am. Ain't nothing about your looks that tells me you're good in the kitchen." he told her almost sternly.

_Yeah, just tells you that I love food too much, _Rainey thought as she closed herself off a little, unconsciously wrapping her arms around herself again. She didn't quite know what to make of Daryl. She had a hard time believing that a decent guy like him really existed.

Daryl noticed her retreating back into herself, but he didn't want that to happen. When he spotted a picture of Santa Clause in a shop window across the street, he thought it might be a good idea to steer the conversation into another direction, hoping it would cheer her up again. „Gettin' ready for Christmas? Less than two weeks to go..."

„Not much getting ready required..." she shrugged. „Got my little fake tree, got some decorations up... not much more to do."

„Celebratin' at someone else's house? Your folks or something?"

„No. My family and I aren't exactly on ‚celebrating holidays together'-terms. They live about two hours out of town anyway."

„Celebratin' with Danni and your other friends then?"

„No. They celebrate with their families and boyfriends. I'm gonna be by myself, like every year. I don't mind it. It means some quiet downtime in front of the TV, lounging on the couch in comfy clothing, not a care in the world... I'll be counting my blessings as soon as the girls start kik-ing me about their annoying families." Rainey laughed when she thought about their own little tradition of the girls practically live-commenting their festivities.

„Kicking you?" Daryl asked with a frown.

„Yeah, you know, Kik,... that messenger app for phones?"

„Right..." he nodded, even though he had no clue what it was. He had an Iphone, because Merle had always made sure that they would have some of that fancy electronic shit, but he had only ever used it for actually making calls and as an alarm clock. He decided that maybe he should look into some of those extra things his phone was able to do, just in case she would bring up more of those terms that included that phone stuff. „Imma be alone, too. Never celebrated neither..." he'd never minded not celebrating. He'd grown up not celebrating, he didn't know anything else, but yet he knew that this year would be different with Merle gone for real. At least he wouldn't have to keep looking at the spot he'd found Merle in, over and over again. He had moved out of that apartment shortly after the funeral. Now he was renting a small house in his price range. Fortunately mechanics made good money in the state of Georgia, unlike in some other states, so he had been able to afford something nicer than what he'd shared with Merle. Another upside to the fact that his brother was gone (as harsh as that sounded), nobody was taking his money anymore.

„It's not that bad... not celebrating I mean... At least I think so."

„Yeah, I'm with ya on that one. Ain't so bad." he agreed while he watched her pretty hands go for the pocket of her jeans, now that she was finished with her cigarette. „You put that back!" he told her when he saw that she was getting out her cigarettes.

„Oh come on! You already did enough for me. Please, let me give you back a cigarette."

„No. Don't want it. Ain't gonna take it."

„Fine, then I'll just make you cupcakes again." Rainey laughed at his stubbornness.

„Shit... ain't no way I can object to that." Daryl said with a little smile, having to admit defeat. He might be strong and stubborn, but there was no way that he would give up getting his hands on those cupcakes again.

„Good. Even though we don't celebrate, consider it an early Christmas present/Thank You note." she smiled.

„Fine. Even though we don't celebrate, consider this your early Christmas present." he smirked and handed her another one of his cigarettes, but Rainey held up her hands and took a step back.

„Nope! Not taking it. You didn't take mine, I'm not gonna take yours."

„Yes, you are!"

„No."

„Yes."

„No." she giggled slightly. The adrenalin in her system was making her happy and brave enough to be playful with him. Also, after three or four encounters with him so far, she was more comfortable around him.

„Rainey..." he said her name in a warning, but gentle tone of voice. She melted at the sound of her name coming from his lips, and she almost swooned when he took a step closer and gently grasped her wrist. He turned her palm up and put the cigarette in her hand, once more admiring how pretty it was. „Take it." he said as he looked up into her dark eyes. His expression turned into one of mild confusion when he started to feel slightly dizzy, but was unable to explain why. He hadn't had much to drink. He also felt some kind of pull, but he had no clue if it was inside his body or inside his head. It was the weirdest sensation he'd ever felt. „Just take it." his voice was soft and tinged with confusion. „Or Imma give those cupcakes back."

Rainey narrowed her eyes, which were twinkling with amusement. „No you won't..."

„Prolly not..." he murmured. He let his gaze drop down to their hands. That's when he realized that he was still holding hers, and he quickly dropped it like it was on fire, almost making Rainey drop the cigarette. He took a deep breath, as well as a step back, and cleared his throat awkwardly. „Ready to go back inside?"

„Eeerrm... no. I can't." she stammered. Now he would find out that she was a freak. „I'm... kind of... I just can't after that whole thing."

„Ya ain't alone. I'm going in with ya."

„I know, but I can't. Literally can't. It's hard to explain... I'm kind of fucked up in the head... I'm... I'll just wait for Danni." she knew that this was it. She knew that he would probably never talk to her again from now on, so she took the opportunity to express her gratitude one last time. „Thank you so much for everything, Daryl."

Daryl just stared at her for a moment in silence. He had the feeling that she was saying goodbye, and not only did he not like that one bit, he also didn't know why she wouldn't come back. He was sure that the assholes from earlier wouldn't ever show up again. „Ain't gonna happen again. You know... what happened earlier. Not while I'm here. I can promise you that."

„You can't. But that's okay. Could you maybe tell Danni that I'm waiting here until she wants to go?" Rainey suddenly looked so sad that he started developing the urge to hug her, much to his own shock. He was the least huggiest person in the world.

_Well, she makes me talk... guess now she's gonna make me a hugger, too. _„You gonna be alright?"

„Yeah, sure." she was smiling, but he saw that it wasn't reaching her eyes. It was obvious that she was just done for now.

„Alright. I'm gonna get your friend. Don't wander off alone." he told her. Then he looked at her for a moment longer, gave her a little nod and went inside to get Danni.

* * *

><p>Once she had been back in the safety of her own home, the events of that night came rushing back to her and overwhelmed her. The anxiety attack that seized her for the next 20 minutes was anything but fun, and she cried and clutched her pillow while she kept rocking back and forth like a self-soothing child. She never even realized that she did that until she started to feel better. It all happened on auto-pilot. After half an hour she felt kind of okay again and turned on the TV to distract and entertain herself. Today she didn't feel as happy as she usually did after an encounter with Daryl. Even though it had been their best talk yet, the other thing that happened had put a major damper on things and now she didn't know if she would ever be ready to go back to that bar, which meant no more nice talks with Daryl. That surely was more than enough reason to get depressed again.<p>

At the same time that Rainey got comfortable on her couch, Daryl got comfortable on his. He laid on his back with his head propped up on a pillow while he watched some reruns of Duck Dynasty. His eyes kept peering over at his phone, which he'd put on the coffee table, though.

_Ah fuck it, _he thought and sat up in order to grab it. Once he had it in his hand, he settled down on the sofa again, and unlocked the screen. He touched his thumb to the screen where the blue icon of the App Store was located, and looked for the search option. „Kick messenger", that's what he typed into the search field, and at the top of the list of results it showed him something called „Kik". He figured that it had to be it and downloaded the app. He had no clue how these things really worked, but he figured that he wasn't stupid and that he would figure it out step by step. A couple of minutes later he had signed up for an account, and it was time to look for some friends. It took him a moment to figure out where to search for names, but he found it eventually. He scowled at the phone when it told him that he could only search user names and not real names. _How the fuck am I supposed to know the damn user name? _He sighed deeply, but he wasn't ready to give up yet. His user name was daryldixon, so maybe other people used their real names like that as well. He was still scowling when he typed in rainybehr. The message „user not found" came back, and his scowl darkened. He thought about it for a moment and tried a different variation, by adding an „e" to her name. He typed in raineybehr and within three seconds an account showed up. The scowl vanished, only to be replaced by a confused expression again, when these weird sensations inside of him reappeared. He squinted at the small profile picture, trying to see if he had found her, and while he was sure that it was a picture of Rainey in a dress, he wanted to make extra sure and clicked on the picture, thinking it might get enlarged. However, no such luck.

Now he laid there on his back on his couch, staring at the tiny picture of Rainey, while the button underneath the picture was challenging him to take action. „Start Chatting" it said. Daryl held his breath while his thumb hovered over the button indecisively. _The hell am I doing here?_

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**What do you think? Is Daryl going to "Start Chatting"?**

**So,... this story is very autobiographic. The scene with Rainey's mom in the last chapter? That was my mother. She and my father always made sure to tell me how worthless and disgusting I was. They started when I was very little, in elementary school, and kept going well into my adult years. The scene in front of the bar with the guys throwing money at her feet? That happened to me when I was 17 years old. Only it was in front of a supermarket and it was broad daylight, and the other customers watching and not helping made the whole thing even more humiliating and degrading. People can be utterly horrible and disgusting human beings. No wonder that a lot of us suffer from anxiety issues. I wish people like us would be taken more seriously instead of being written off as shy, too sensitive or even lazy. The way I see it, we are very strong warriors, because we are still alive and we are still fighting.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews. I had typed out everybody's name twice, but the site is being a little bitch and made me re-type everything, so this time I'm sorry, a shortened THANK YOU!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The screen of his phone went dark several times, while he kept arguing with himself internally. He really had no idea what had possessed him to go looking for that app, and then go looking for her name. But after that incident in front of the bar, he just wanted to make sure thatnshe got home okay. That's what he told himself, and he thought that explanation was pretty reasonable.

He looked at the time and saw that it was after 11 pm already, so she might be sleeping already. In a weird way, that calmed his frazzled nerves a little. Why? He had no idea. It was just another thing that couldn't be explained. In a burst of courage, he suddenly hit the button and "Started Chatting" and the window for typing his message appeared. He thought it might be a drag with all the typing, but he soon learned that his phone kept suggesting words, as soon as he had typed in a couple of letters. That made the whole thing more pleasant for him. He kept erasing what he had typed a couple of times, though. It all sounded too stupid.

_How the fuck do ya start this shit? _"Hey. It's Daryl. From the bar." he said it out loud while he typed it into the messenger window. Then he paused and frowned at the screen. "Nah." he erased everything but the "hey" and in yet another huge burst of courage, he pressed "send". Then he waited... and waited... and waited... Seconds suddenly seemed like hours to him, and when he still didn't have a reply after a whole minute had passed, he was disappointed and relieved at the same time. His nerves were still frazzled and he tried to calm himself down by telling himself that she sure was sleeping and wouldn't reply until morning. If ever...

After distracting herself with the help of an episode of Once Upon A Time, Rainey got up from the couch and went to her bedroom to get changed into her comfortable and cozy plaid pajama pants and her favorite gray hoodie. She wasn't too tired and she wanted to make the most of that Friday night and immerse herself in her favorite shows, so she could make some room on her DVR for new episodes, even though most were on hiatus until the new year. She made herself some hot chocolate, topped it with some whipped cream and took it back to the living room. She gathered all the pillows and arranged them so that they would cushion her body perfectly before she settled in and covered herself with her warm blanket. Out of habit, she checked her phone before she started a new episode, and saw that she had a new message on Kik.

Daryl Dixon: Hey.

Rainey frowned in confusion. _Daryl Dixon? Who in the world i- _"OH MY GOD!" she cried out in utter disbelief when realization struck. Daryl Dixon was Daryl from the bar. Danni had told her his last name the night she had accompanied Rainey and the girls to the bar for the first time. Rainey gaped at the screen for what must have been a full minute, before she quickly opened the group chat with the girls and started typing at neck-breaking speed.

Rainey Behr: DARYL JUST KIK'ED ME! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

None of the girls replied. It was late and they were probably already in bed. Either sleeping or being engaged in other activities with their significant others. Rainey was shaking and started bobbing her knee up and down nervously. "Shit, what do I do?" she muttered while she fought the urge to throw up. "Replying would probably be a good idea." she answered herself and shakily opened the chat with Daryl again.

Rainey Behr: Hey

She knew that the girls would figuratively slap her upside the head for that lame message, but she didn't have the wherewithal to come up with anything else in that moment. Daryl fucking Dixon, the hot guy, who not only talked to her regularly, but who had also helped her out at the supermarket, who had defended her honor in front of the bar earlier and who'd given her a cigarette for a Christmas present, was texting her. It was reason enough to experience a major case of brain fart.

Across town, Daryl perked up when his phone made an unfamiliar noise, about twenty minutes after he had sent his first message to Rainey. With great anticipation and curiosity, he picked up his phone, not realizing that he was smiling when he read her name on the screen. He wasn't too surprised by her not writing anything but the short greeting. Looked like her initial tongue-tiedness translated into texting as well.

DD: You get home okay?

RB: Yes. Thank you again for what you did.

DD: Was nothing. Everybody would have done that.

RB: No, not really. In 29 years you were the first to do something like that. Apart from the girls.

DD: Why?

RB: Why what?

DD: You said people give you a hard time a lot. I don't get why.

RB: Because people like to judge and make fun of fat people.

DD: But you ain't nowhere near fat.

That message made Rainey blush so hard that she thought her head might explode, but it also made her smile so much that her face started to hurt. In the back of her head, the evil little voice kept telling her that he is lying and that he wants something from her for being so nice, but the rational part of her brain was pretty sure that she didn't have anything to offer that he might want and therefore he must be genuine, even though it was kind of hard to believe nonetheless.

RB: Once again, you and the girls are the only ones to think so. Even my boss makes fun of me. My parents make fun of me, my grandparents tell me I'm fat, and the list goes on and on.

She hit "send" and regretted it a moment later. A case of "getting too comfortable and opening up too quick" was striking once again. The anonymity of texting was making her open up even quicker than in person. Now she thought that she sounded whiny, which she had wanted to avoid at all costs. It was too late to take it back though. "Fuck, why do I turn into a blabbermouth when someone seems interested in listening?" It was why a lot of people didn't take her and her condition seriously. And how could they? On one hand she was supposed to suffer from social phobia, but then she suddenly kept chewing your ear off, if you let her. What people didn't understand was, that she wasn't intimidated by everybody right off the bat. There were a couple of people here and there, who gave her a good gut feeling and she was able to approach them or talk to them without too much difficulty. It was when a third party got involved and started dominating the conversation, that she would shrink back into herself and turn shy and insecure and feel anxious about the whole situation.

Daryl meanwhile frowned at the screen. He couldn't believe what he was reading. He just didn't get it. She was so pretty and so sweet. Why in the world would even her whole family turn against her? Unfortunately he was very familiar with things like that. He knew that parents didn't need a whole lot of reason to take out their frustrations on their kids. _It wasn't our fault, little brother, _Merle had told him once, when they had been younger. _They're the fuck-ups. They weren't able to deal with their shitty lives, so they blamed us and took it out on us. Everything we did after that, was because of them. _Daryl had tried to believe it, but the doubts, that he had been to blame for everything, were still there. Still, he decided to impart some of Merle's wisdom to her.

DD: Ain't your fault. You know that, right? They are assholes.

RB: If it would be just them, I might believe that they are the assholes. These things keep happening with a lot of different people, though. So it's definitely me. I'm the problem.

DD: It ain't you. No asshole would make me a whole batch of damn good cupcakes just for sharing my cigarettes with them. Did you smoke it yet? The last one I gave you?

RB: No. I think I'm gonna keep it for Christmas, since it was meant to be a Christmas gift and all.

DD: Good idea.

RB: You want the save the cupcakes for Christmas? If so, then I'm going to make them fresh right around Christmas and give them to Danni at the last minute.

DD: Don't think that will work. 19th is my last day at work. I'm taking vacation days. Won't be back until first Monday in January.

RB: Ha. Funny coincidence. I'm off work too during that time. Are you leaving town? If not I could just send them to you just in time for Christmas.

DD: Works for me.

_Or we meet up and you give 'em to me, _he thought, but he didn't dare suggest that. How stupid would that feel? Meet in some kind of parking lot or something, and have her give him a tupperware box filled with cupcakes, before they both got back in their cars and went their separate ways. No, that wouldn't work. If he suggested that, then he would be decent enough to meet with her and buy her a coffee. They could sit down, drink it and talk a little before going their separate ways again. But that sounded too much like a date. He didn't do dates. Even though he wouldn't mind giving her a little kiss goodbye. _What the hell? _He startled at his own thoughts. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to shake himself out of it, but it was too late. Suddenly he saw himself in front of his inner eye, holding her face in his hands and slipping his tongue into her mouth while he kissed her quite thoroughly.

RB: Great. You'll have to give me your address. Don't worry, I'm not going to stalk you.

DD: Not worried about that. Just seems weird that I have you send me cupcakes.

RB: I don't think it's weird. It's your Christmas present.

DD: Yeah, but once again, those cupcakes and postage are gonna cost way more than two damn smokes.

RB: It's not about money, Daryl. Gifts are supposed to be thoughtful. I think you sharing your cigarettes with me was very kind and thoughtful. I wasn't feeling well and you made sure to help me feel better. That's thoughtful.

DD: Sure?

RB: Of course I am sure. Don't worry about it.

DD: Okay. I'll try.

Rainey was grinning the whole time. She just wasn't able to believe her luck. On the other hand she was wary, because usually when she caught a lucky break, something really bad was going to follow sooner or later. Now, she didn't quite know what to text him, so she chose a classic topic-changer question.

RB: What are you doing right now? I'm just hanging out on my couch watching some TV.

DD: Same. Duck Dynasty is on.

RB: I LOVE Duck Dynasty!

DD: Seriously?

Rainey giggled, because she was able to hear the surprise behind the question.

RB: Yes. Seriously. It's on my DVR. Which episode?

DD: Uncle Si just ate shit and they're taking him to the eye doc.

RB: Ha! That's a good one. I almost peed my pants watching that.

DD: What's it about women always having to piss when they laugh?

RB: It's just a figure of speech, Daryl. Unless the woman has given birth. Most of them can't cough, sneeze or laugh without peeing, I guess.

DD: But you ain't given birth. Right?

RB: No, I haven't. Like I said, it was just a figure of speech. I'm dry and all good.

DD: Good to know. So you watching Duck Dynasty too right now?

RB: No. I'm catching up on Hannibal right now. I like to binge watch that. I wait until the whole season has aired, so I can watch it all at once.

DD: What's Hannibal?

RB: Dr. Hannial Lecter. You know, Silence of the Lambs? They made a TV show out of it. It's good. Gore-y though.

DD: Maybe I'll check it out. I don't watch that much TV.

RB: I watch way too much. I know that, but what else can you do at night.

DD: Come to the bar.

RB: Every night?

DD: Why not? It's what I do.

RB: Really? Every night?

DD: Sounds bad, huh? Yeah, every night. Beats being alone.

RB: I don't mind being alone.

DD: You look uncomfortable around other people. That why?

RB: Yeah, that's why. It's called social anxiety or social phobia. It sucks, but not much left I can do about it. Therapy didn't really work.

DD: I'm sorry. What exactly is that stuff? Phil said ya can't answer the phone some days?

Rainey's stomach sank when she read that. She had never felt comfortable around Phil, and it had been obvious that he was one of the people that thought she was being ridiculous. He sure had told Daryl all about her "freaky quirks".

RB: It's too hard to explain. Wikipedia has some accurate info about it though, in case you want to read up.

DD: Yeah. Hold on.

RB: You wanna read up on it NOW?

DD: Why wait?

RB: Okay.

Rainey was shaking her head in disbelief. She slowly got the impression that she might be dreaming. Why in the world would Daryl be this interested in her and her condition? She had no explanation for it, but she waited patiently until he was done with his research.

Daryl meanwhile tried out his Google app for the first time. He was slowly starting to see the upside to having that phone. It provided him with everything he needed to know right now, with just a few clicks. It took a moment, but he soon found that Wikipedia thing about Social Anxiety Disorder, and started reading. The more info he got, the more it was confirmed that Rainey really suffered from that shit. All the signs were there and matched up perfectly. He also realized how much stress she was under every minute of every day by trying to live a normal life. How much effort it must take her to make it out of the house and to that damn bar whenever she showed up. How humiliated she must have felt when her credit card didn't work and everybody kept staring and being annoyed at her. _Pretty girl like her shouldn't have to worry about all this shit, _he found himself thinking once again. The wish to be able to take all that crap away from her bloomed up inside of him, though it didn't consciously register yet. It was more like an urge to hug her and shield her from all that crap.

DD: It says it develops at an early age. Was it like that for you?

RB: Yes. Ever since I can remember. I was always labeled as being shy, but it was much more than that.

DD: You know what caused it for you?

RB: My parents, definitely. Combined with other social experiences. I was always the outsider. In kindergarten already. But I guess I put myself in that position because of the way my parents raised me. Even as a kid I thought that if my parents don't even like me, then nobody else would ever like me. So I isolated myself, I guess. And it just went on and on from there on out. It got a bit better in school when I met my friends, but it got worse again during the last year of high school when my parents divorced and my mother flew off the handle and treated me even worse than before.

DD: Can I ask something else?

RB: Sure.

DD: It also said that prior to social situations sufferers think about everything that could go wrong and how to deal with all of those things and after, they think about what happened and how they behaved and they always think they acted abnormal, and that they keep thinking about it for weeks or even longer after the event? Is it like that for you too?

RB: Oh yes. Obsessively so. Years later I remember certain situations and I cringe and think of a million ways I could have acted differently. Like at the supermarket. I still keep thinking about why I didn't just get money at the ATM before shopping. I can't forgive myself for not doing that.

DD: That sounds fucking stressful.

RB: It is. Daily struggle.

DD: Tonight was hell on earth for you, right?

RB: It was. But you really helped me not to spiral right then and there.

DD: What about now? You spiraling now?

Rainey hesitated with her reply. She scrolled back up and read over everything they had written so far. It was funny how the anonymity of texting took the fears away and allowed her to "speak" freely and without dying from embarrassment every five seconds, but admitting that she felt like shit ever since she had come home? For whatever reason it was tough to admit.

RB: It was a bit rough earlier.

DD: What's that mean?

RB: Anxiety attack after I came home. But it's better again now.

DD: Was Danny with you?

Rainey smirked, thinking it was cute how he had spelled Danni wrong. She didn't mention it though, because not everybody automatically knew that it was spelled with an "i".

RB: No. I dropped her off at home before I went home myself.

DD: Shit. You were alone during that attack thing?

RB: Yeah, but that's okay. I prefer to be alone when it happens.

DD: Why? She could have distracted you.

RB: There is no such thing as distracting someone and make the attack go away faster. It has to do with certain hormones, brain chemistry, etc. It lasts 15-20 minutes and you just have to get through it. Some distraction afterwards is nice. I just watched some TV. It's what I usually do. Anything to shut my mind off and keep myself from going in circles in there.

DD: How often you get those?

RB: Depends. There are days when I feel better and days when I feel worse. On worse days I get them every couple of hours. On average I'd say I have one per day or one every two days when I'm feeling pretty good.

DD: You get them even when you feel good? So you never really go a week or so without them?

RB: No, not really. Like I said, daily struggle. Some days I'm just overwhelmed and I hide out in here. Unable to deal with the phone ringing or the doorbell ringing. Can't even take out the trash out of fear that I'd meet my neighbors in the hall on those days.

"And now I nailed shut my own coffin." Rainey sighed, cursing herself for telling him the truth. She was a nut job and now he knew just how much. If he hadn't already known earlier outside the bar.

DD: But you work, right?

RB: Yes. I work in an office, just like Danni.

DD: How in the world are you able to do that? With your boss being an ass and all.

RB: It's hell, but I gotta make a living. That's what keeps me going. That I'm still strong enough to take care of myself. I mean, it's not like this crippling disease that doesn't allow me to do anything. I don't want to give off that impression. I have good moments or days. I think right now I am functioning and dealing quite well, but you know, when there's bad days, they are BAD. It doesn't happen too often, though. That it's really bad, I mean. I can go weeks without a really bad day. There's just so many factors that play a part in all of this. It is hard to explain to somebody who doesn't have it. I'm not sitting here by myself and cry all day, every day. I can still have fun and laugh and all that stuff.

Daryl was amazed at how many words Rainey was able to text in what seemed like seconds. He was also amazed by the fact that she was able to live life that way. It sounded like an assload of work with all that worrying and going through all kinds of scenarios in your head all the time. He had a lot more questions, but he didn't want to pry much more than he'd already had. He felt a bit nervous writing the next message, but it was still easier than to say it out loud to her face.

DD: That's good. You seem real nice. It sucks that you have to fight like that every day.

RB: Thank you. I'm used to it. It's tough, but I don't know any other way of life, you know?

DD: Yeah.

Daryl got that. For him it had been the same for many years. The way Merle and him had lived life... he hadn't known anything else. He'd had no idea what it could be like. That working a steady job was actually nice. Although he had to admit that he had lucked out by finding a decent place to work and a job he actually enjoyed. Very few people were that lucky, he was well aware of that. He knew what it was like to worry about all kinds of things every day. He could imagine how Rainey felt all the time, although she probably worried about different things. It was no way to go through life. Not forever. He had found some kind of peace and he really hoped that she might be able to find it too one day.

RB: I'm sorry. I didn't want to bore you with all that stuff. I'm a Chatty Cathy when given the opportunity. I know it doesn't make any sense with what I just told you,... like I said, the whole thing is complex and complicated.

DD: You didn't bore me. I asked. Don't worry.

They chatted a little while longer until Rainey felt her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. The day had taken even more out of her than she had thought. She felt bad for telling Daryl that she would have to go to bed. She didn't want him to feel like she was no longer interested in chatting with him, but it was of no use. She wasn't able to focus anymore. Daryl texted her his address and then they said goodnight. Rainey quickly took her pill to keep the nightmares and nightly panic attacks away before it was too late, and quickly went to bed. Daryl meanwhile wasn't able to stop thinking about her. He read through everything they had written, and he tried finishing putting the Rainey-puzzle together. He made more use of his google app, now that he was figuring out how it all worked, and read up on how he would be able to help someone that is going through an anxiety attack. He read an article about what it's like to live with social anxiety. It matched perfectly with what Rainey had told him. It even gave the example of a woman standing in line at the grocery store and being uncomfortable talking to the cashier and thinking everyone is staring at her. The article also said that even with treatment, it would never go away again. Rainey had to live with it for the rest of her life. He was starting to feel a huge amount of respect for her. Going out to the bar every once in a while was huge for someone who only ever felt comfortable behind closed doors, in their own space. He was starting to wonder if she's ever had a boyfriend, and if so, how he had dealt with her condition. He also asked himself is she thought that he was secretly judging her, too.

Before he went to sleep that night, he sent her one last message.

DD: I ain't judging you. Never did. Never will. I read that you won't be able to believe me, but I just wanted to say it once. Good night.

* * *

><p>"I just don't know what to think anymore." Simone said during a conference call with Danni and Anna the next day. They had all spoken to Rainey in the morning, having her tell them exactly what had happened at the bar and how Daryl and her had texted at night. "I mean, he sought her out on Kik. That means something doesn't it? She didn't give him her username or anything. He must have searched for it."<p>

"That to me spells that he's interested." Danni said.

"But interested in what exactly?" Anna asked. "Does he want to be friends with her? Or more than friends?"

"More than friends, silly." Danni laughed. "Would you try to hunt someone down on a messenger if you wanted to be just friends? No, you would ask them about their username the next time you saw them, whip out your phone and add them right there on the spot."

"I don't know." Simone sighed. "It's all still pretty ambiguous to me. Could be just a friendly gesture, could be interest in her. Danni, he really never showed a real reaction when you gave him the cupcakes?"

"No, he was just surprised, but everybody would have been." Danni explained. "Like I said, he doesn't talk much and he's hard to read."

"Maybe you should test the waters a little." Anna suggested. "I'm sure Rainey is crushing on him hard by now. I know that she says that she doesn't think he's interested, but deep down there's got to be a flicker of hope inside of her, and I would just hate to have her getting hurt. He seems like a nice guy, but if he only wants to be friends, then... I don't know... We have to prepare her for that? God, I don't know. I don't want to treat her like a child. What do we do? This is such a new situation for her."

"I think we shouldn't do anything." Simone said next. "We can't push her in any direction. That's not right. She seems to be managing things with him quite well right now. She should do what she thinks is right, and we'll support her in every way we can, as usual."

They all agreed on letting things take their course. What they didn't know was, that while they talked, Rainey laid on her couch and stared at the ceiling while her mind was racing, and that the thoughts that popped up inside her head, made her want to put a screeching halt to the course things were taking. She was panicking. Her mind was going through all possible reasons, why Daryl was talking to her. Why he had looked for her on Kik and had started a conversation. _It's a bet with his friends or something, or he's got something to prove. There's no way he likes me for me after all the stuff I just told him. Nobody except for the girls has been nice to me just because. Why would it start now? Why would he talk to me? He's hot, he can talk to any girl... to way hotter girls... why me? It's just not right. He's using me for something. I'll end up the butt of the joke. Again. No. I can't do it. I won't do it. _

And so, she ignored his last message about him never judging her. It couldn't be true. He was right, she wasn't able to believe it. Everybody judged somebody at some point. She was crushing hard on him and if she kept this up with him, it would lead to falling in love with him and she couldn't allow herself the vulnerability that came with that. To protect herself she would have to go radio silence on Daryl. And she did.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**Thank you for the lovely reviews!**

**Sorry for keeping it short... you know why!**

**Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!**

**On to fighting another year.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Daryl had never really thought about his own personal definition of hell... Until he had started waiting for Rainey to text him back on Kik. He was sure that this never ending feeling of anxiousness and anticipation, which made him check his phone every five minutes, was one very special form of hell.

The whole weekend had passed without her texting him back. At first he thought that she might be sleeping in. Then he had thought that maybe she was too busy to check her phone or reply. Then, Sunday night, he thought that maybe his message hadn't been sent. But it did have an "R" for "read" next to it. She had read it, but why wasn't she replying? Had he said something wrong? Or was she just not feeling the whole chatting with him thing anymore? He was tempted to write her another message, in order to ask what was wrong, but he didn't dare. So he kept checking his phone, over and over again, finally understanding why on Earth people kept doing it. He lasted two more days, four total, but by Wednesday, Daryl cracked.

On Wednesday morning, he had to go into Danni's office to give her a list with parts that needed to get ordered. They went through everything, and when they were done, he didn't leave the office right away, like he usually did. He kept standing behind her office chair, and when Danni looked up at him, he looked nervous, what with him biting his bottom lip and all. "Can I help you with anything else?" She asked politely, but with a slightly confused expression on her face.

She watched him hem and haw for a moment, watched him peek through his long, dark bangs, which kept falling in his eyes, and watched him chewing on the inside of his bottom lip some more, until he finally grunted out a reply. "Yer friend's phone broken or somethin'?"

"My friend's phone broken...?" Danni repeated to herself with big confusion.

"You know... Rainey?" he offered up some more clues.

"Oh, Rainey's phone? Broken? No, I don't think so. We texted earlier." she said with a little smile. That smile fell when she noticed that Daryl pressed his lips together in a grim line. "Why?" Danni spoke the word in a drawn out way, and with a suspicious tone tinging her voice. She got the feeling that Rainey had pulled "a Rainey" on Daryl. When Daryl shrugged, Danni sighed in exasperation. "Let me guess. She hasn't texted you back?"

Daryl wasn't surprised that Danni knew about their conversation. He had figured that Rainey would tell her girlfriends. He might not know much, but he knew that girlfriends usually told each other everything. That's what he'd heard numerous times. "Not since Friday night." he told Danni, and felt like a whiny teenager while he did it.

"What? Oh man... I'm sorry. I didn't know... I... Daryl... You know... Rainey is one of the most wonderful human beings on earth, but... she's got some issues..." Danni explained carefully. She didn't want Daryl to give up doing whatever he was doing, just because Rainey was freaking out.

"Yeah, I know about that social anxiety thing." Daryl said. "She didn't say anything to you? You don't know what I did wrong?"

"You did nothing wrong, Daryl. Ugh, Simone is so much better at this stuff. She understands Rainey the best. Look... my guess is, that she is just scared. Right now I can't be sure of what exactly, but usually when she pulls back and shuts down, it's out of fear. If it would be any other person I would tell you to just keep at it and text her until she answers, but that won't work with Rainey. She will just get overwhelmed and will panic and all that jazz."

"That mean that I'm s'pposed to leave her alone now?"

"No!" Danni said so forcefully and quickly, that it almost startled him. "Don't. You're good for her. She's just not used to positive male attention... it might just freak her out some. Damn, why do I keep blabbering? I hate doing that. " she sighed miserably and leaned back in her chair. They were both silent for a moment, before Danni looked at Daryl with a hesitant, albeit curious expression.

"What?" he asked.

"Can I just ask... This is all so new to us where Rainey is concerned... I'm just wondering... Are you looking for a new friend or... maybe a new... girlfriend?" Danni asked with a scrunched up face like she was wincing. When she saw Daryl's head shoot up and his eyes widen, she quickly waved her hands around. "No, no, no... I'm sorry I asked... You don't have to answer that... I'm sorry. I don't wanna meddle... not really. Like I said... new situation..."

He was shocked by the question, but mostly, because he realized that now he had to ask himself that. He pushed it to the back of his head for now and focused on something else. Her rambling might have answered one of his questions, but he still asked for clarification. "She ain't never had a guy?" Daryl asked, his cheeks inexplicably turning red. The whole conversation was very awkward and he imagined that this must be what Rainey felt like all the time.

Danni sighed miserably once again. She was torn between telling Daryl everything, and keeping her mouth shut. She decided that the pure facts might not hurt. "She's only been with one guy, but it doesn't count, not really. She was 15 and it only lasted 4 months. But that's all I can say. You should really ask her about this stuff. She has no problem talking about much of anything when she feels comfortable around you, and that seems to be the case with you, so if you ask her, I'm sure you'll get your answer. Or answers... I really don't wanna talk about her without her knowing..."

Daryl nodded, thinking that Danni was a good friend. He noticed that Danni wanted to help, but she also didn't want to spill the beans on her friend without her consent. He respected that. He liked that. "Yeah,... I get that... just one problem with the whole thing..."

"She's not texting you back, I know." Danni said.

They suddenly heard Daryl's name being called and they both realized that he had been in the office way longer than he should have been. Daryl blushed anew and cleared his throat. "Gotta go."

"Alright. Give it another day, I'm sure she'll come around. Probably just needs to talk." Danni said quickly, before he was able to close the door behind him. Daryl nodded at her and went back to work.

* * *

><p>What exactly was he looking for? A friend or a girlfriend? It was a good question. He would love to say friend, but it didn't feel right to him. He wasn't a liar and as much as he would love to, he also wasn't able to lie to himself. He had thought about kissing her. He hadn't just thought about it, he'd fantasized about it. He'd seen himself kissing her, tongues thrusting and everything. It had made his breathing pick up and his heart beat harder and faster. And yeah... he was a guy... the little fantasy had also caused some tingles in his pants. He'd also thought about having her in his arms, seeing her smile up at him while his hands glided on her ass and squeezed gently. <em>That ain't how ya think about friends. <em>He knew that much, and it scared him more than just a little. He had no idea how it had happened, but suddenly she had started to be on his mind all the damn time. He felt like he had a soft spot for her, but maybe it was more than just that. He was definitely fond of her, even though they barely knew each other. He liked being around her. He was impressed by her. He wanted to protect her. He thought she was smoking hot. He was smitten with her smile. He wanted her to know that, without him having to say it out loud. He wanted her to know that she was a very desirable woman. He wanted to get to know the real Rainey. He wanted to experience her funny, carefree side (Phil had told him that Danni had always said that Rainey was funny and a "dirty bird"), and he wanted to find out what the hell a "dirty bird" was. He could only guess. He also wanted to experience her at her worst and try to help her through it. Laying on the couch and watch Duck Dynasty with her, had been a very appealing thought to him... He never did anything like that with his friends... But he didn't do girlfriends. Never had. That's what they had in common. They might be on the same experience level. He'd had sex once, and it had been so damn awkward and embarrassing, that he had never attempted it again. Not with another person. Some lotion and his right hand were his best friends and never failed to get the job done, whenever it needed to get done. Which was almost daily. He'd kissed some girls during his teenage years, though. But only drunk at parties, but apparently he hadn't been too bad at it. That's what he'd heard through the high school grapevine, but to be honest, he only very, very dimly remembered those kisses with those faceless girls. During his adult life he had been too busy looking out for Merle and himself and there hadn't been time for hooking up with someone, or actually getting to know someone. He hadn't even really felt the desire to meet someone. He had been too ashamed of himself and Merle and their way of life. He had never wanted to drag anyone into that. It had all changed with Merle dying. He had tasted blood and was craving a normal life, and he figured meeting someone and eventually falling in love was part of that. He wasn't against it anymore. He was able to make his own decisions about that stuff now. He had time now. He would say he was more open toward the possibility now. And that possibility might just be called Rainey Behr.

Daryl took a moment and supported his weight on the workbench, with his head hung low. He tried to get his breathing under control when he felt like he wasn't able to draw enough oxygen into his lungs. He had an answer to Danni's question and it caused a mild panic attack. _I might just want her to be my girlfriend... And of fucking course, she ain't texting me back no more. Holy fuck! I can't breathe. _Now he could only hope that Danni and her other friends would work some kind of magic and take whatever fear she was feeling away from her.

* * *

><p>Danni and Simone had asked Rainey via Kik, if she would allow them to come over that night. Rainey thought maybe they would wanna do a pre-holidays movie night, and had gladly invited them to come. After work she had gone shopping real quick and as soon as she had been home, she had made pizza dough from scratch and had prepared one of her famous pizzas. Simone liked to keep it a bit healthy, so she had topped it with fresh cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, chicken breast, mozzarella and lots of oregano. It was done right on time, and when the girls entered the apartment, they both moaned when the delicious smell filled their nostrils.<p>

"Oh my God, that's an awesome surprise. I didn't think we'd have dinner." Simone smiled, much to Rainey's surprise.

"What? No dinner? I thought it's movie night or something." Rainey was confused.

"Oh... no, it actually isn't..." Danni smiled apologetically. "We wanted to talk to you about something."

"Umm... okay." Rainey got a weird feeling. "Well, table is set. Why don't you sit down and I'll get us some pizza."

"Sounds good, sweetie." Simone lead the way over to the table and sat down at her usual place next to Rainey's usual place. Rainey didn't drink wine, but sometimes she used it for cooking, so she always had some to offer to her friends. She served them the wine first, before she brought out the pizza, giving it a chance to cool off a bit.

"What did you want to talk about?" Rainey asked once they all had pizza and a beverage in front of them.

"You are making a certain someone really sad, Rainey." Danni told her around a mouthful of pizza.

"Who? Anna?"

"Nope. Daryl." Danni stated and watched Rainey freeze.

"What?"

"He doesn't understand why you are ignoring him. He thinks he did something wrong. This is big, Rainey. Daryl never talks, except for hello, bye and business stuff. For him to come to me and ask about you,... that's big."

"What's wrong, Rainey? You told me what you guys wrote. It seemed like you were doing great. Why did you stop replying to him?" Simone wanted to know.

Rainey just shrugged while she stabbed her fork into her pizza aimlessly.

"You're scared." Simone stated gently. "Can you tell me what you're scared of?"

"That it's all a joke." Rainey admitted quietly. "No guy is ever like him. Not to me. It just seems off. Maybe it's a bet with a friend. He needs to pick up a fat chick or something. Or I am their entertainment. That he gets me to fall in love with him so they can all laugh about me?"

"That's child's play, Rainey. Daryl is a grown man, very probably over the age of 30. I don't think he would play those kind of games." Simone said to her.

"Think about it, Rainey. If it would be a game among friends, why didn't he come over to our table together with Phil and give him a show directly? I don't think that's what Daryl is about. In my office it was just him and me, and he was really disappointed when he heard that you had been texting me, but not him. He likes you, Rainey. He really does." Danni told her.

"Stop." The thought that Daryl liked her overwhelmed her a little bit. "He doesn't. He can't. Not really. He knows about my issues."

"So do we and we love you, because those issues don't make you a horrible person. They might make you a better person than any of us. We love you, why is it so hard to understand that someone else is seeing what we see in you? You know, that thing you always tell yourself? That 'my parents don't love me, so nobody else will'? That also works the other way around. 'My friends love me, so other people will love me, too.'" Simone told her and rubbed Rainey's arm when she noticed her friend tear up.

Rainey started crying. She wasn't close to the water. No, she was firmly planted with both feet **in **the damn water. She always started crying when her friends showed her love and support. Hell, she started crying when someone showed someone else love and support in TV commercials, movies or shows. She was extremely sensitive and emotional, her parents might have been right about that. "I'm scared. I'm scared of this crush turning into more than just a crush. I don't want to be that vulnerable. I don't want the added trouble of heartache in my life."

"That's understandable, Rainey, but there are risks that are worth being taken. Maybe, if you take the risk of getting to know him more and giving him the chance of getting to know you more, maybe something great will come out of that, like love and a relationship." Danni smiled, all excited at the prospect of Rainey ending up in a relationship with Daryl. She could totally picture them together.

"Ha... God no. No... I thought about it. I like the fantasy of a relationship, but the real thing? No. I don't think I can do it. Not that I think Daryl would ever want to be with me, but I thought about it in general. It's too late for me. I'm too settled in my ways and in my bullshit condition. There's no room for anybody else. I don't want to fight about who gets to decide what we watch on TV. I don't want to share my bed. I don't want a guy to have to be embarrassed for me, because I'm a freak. I can't be naked in front of anyone, I can't have sex with anyone, I'm too scared to open myself up and let go and let someone else have some sort of control over me. I don't want to have to shave my legs every morning, I am way too lazy to do that. I don't want to have to constantly worry about morning breath or if I'm fresh enough 'down there' for intercourse or fingering or something, all the damn time. I don't have the energy for a relationship. I'm better on my own. I can deal with being on my own. I have the fantasy of a perfect relationship. I can dream. That's gotta be enough. And it will be." Rainey was in tears and rambling. It wasn't new to her friends, they knew that this was just a lot of insecurities bubbling up at the same time, overwhelming her and freaking her out. New things scared her, and the thought of an actual adult relationship was very new to Rainey.

Simone wasn't too worried. She had seen Rainey at her worst, and this was just a little freak out. She actually had to suppress a little laugh when Rainey brought up shaving her legs and making sure she was fresh "down there" at all times. This was so Rainey. She thought about, and worried about, things, nobody else would ever even think twice about.

"I get that you are worried, sweetie, but all those things figure themselves out when you meet someone you really like. You don't have to content yourself with your fantasies and dreams. You can have something real, but it takes courage. And I know that you have that. You just need to risk it, that's all. There are no guarantees, not for anybody. We all have to take leaps where relationships are concerned, not just you. Although I am willing to admit that it will be a bit harder for you than for others, but it's not impossible. Just think about that." Simone smiled gently. "Now, back to Daryl... I can't say that I know what he is all about, and I also can't tell you what to do, that's your decision to make, but I just wanna say that I don't think that he is playing games. This isn't some anonymous internet thing." Simone was the only one in their group of friends that knew, that Rainey had attempted internet dating years ago. Nothing good had come out of that, needless to say. Simone wanted Rainey to know that this wasn't anything like what happened back then. "He's standing in front of you, in the flesh, liking you, asking about you, helping you out and talking to you. And when you came in from smoking that one night, he really looked like he had fun talking to you. It didn't look like an act at all."

"And not all couples fight over the remote, Rainey." Danni laughed. "And you know, the decent guys of this world don't mind some stubble or hair. Not everybody is that superficial. He's not gonna love you for your smooth legs. That's not how it is supposed to be anyway. And he'll have morning breath, too. Daryl's probably a longtime chain smoker... he'll have this really unattractive cough in the mornings, I'm sure of it. You both won't be perfect and that's totally okay. You have to let go of what you **think **adult relationships are like. You are still stuck in that teenager mindset where that's concerned. Oh, and hey... You both like Duck Dynasty, so there's definitely no fighting over that."

Rainey turned her frowning gaze on Danni, after having stared at her plate during the girls' pep talk. "Why do you keep talking like Daryl and I are gonna start dating? It's not gonna happen, so please don't talk like that."

Simone shot Danni a hard look. Danni was the motormouth of the group and just kept babbling and babbling about things she shouldn't babble about. She tried really hard not to do it, but it still kept happening. It was her curse. Now Simone wasn't happy with her, because they had all agreed not to instill hope inside of Rainey, but yet Danni kept talking like a relationship was going to happen. Danni clamped her mouth shut, but she didn't feel sorry. Simone hadn't seen Daryl in her office that morning. Simone hadn't seen Daryl's demeanor and reactions, especially the one to the girlfriend question. Simone hadn't seen Daryl's expression when he had asked whether or not Rainey's had a boyfriend before. Danni was sure it meant something. To her it spelled that he wanted to be more than just a friend, which is why she would just love to push Rainey a little and give her hope so she wouldn't keep shutting Daryl out.

The friends went back to their meal and stayed silent for a moment, until Rainey took a deep breath. "God..."

"Feel better?" Simone asked her.

"I do. I'm sorry I freaked out. Do you really think Daryl is genuine?"

"We do." Simone and Danni replied in unison, making Rainey nod her head.

"Alright."

Simone and Danni let Rainey vent some more about life in general. By the time they left, Rainey was in better spirits again and was looking forward to her time off work. Only two more days to get through, then she'd be free of the hassle of having to take her boss' bullying for two weeks.

Her boss seemed extra mean on those two days, but Rainey powered through and on Friday, when she entered her apartment after work and shopping, she breathed a huge sigh of relief. She put on some music while she put her groceries away, then she changed into her sweats and made herself a sandwich, because she had skipped lunch and it was another couple of hours until dinner. When she had eaten, she started prepping her dinner, making enough to last 2 days, and once the dishes were in the fridge for later, she dropped on her couch with a happy sigh, turned on the TV and spent some time getting lost in different worlds.

It was way past dinnertime, when she picked up her phone and opened her Kik messenger conversation with Daryl. She started bobbing her knee nervously, when she thought about what to write him. _Maybe I shouldn't write him at all. It's been two more days. He sure forgot about me already. But... I'm a glutton for punishment... _She decided to just give it a go and started typing.

* * *

><p>Daryl had been in the middle of his third beer, down at the bar, when his phone made that unfamiliar noise again. He perked up and searched his pockets for the device. <em>That was... that's her... damn, where's that damn phone? <em>He finally found it in the right side pocket of his black jeans, and he quickly activated the screen.

Rainey Behr: Hi. I'm sorry...

That's all he was able to read without unlocking the screen. Before he did that, he got off the bar stool and went outside where it was quieter, and nobody would be able to read the text on his phone. He lit himself a cigarette, then he finally opened her message.

Rainey Behr: Hi. I'm sorry for not writing back sooner.

Daryl Dixon: What happened?

Rainey sighed. A couple of years ago she would have lied, made up excuses about how she had been swamped at work or something, but now, at 29 years of age, she had learned that lying never led to anything. He knew about her condition, so he would probably be more understanding if she told him the truth.

RB: Honestly? I freaked out. I told you I'm fucked up in the head.

DD: So am I. So what? Why did you freak out?

RB: It's a long story.

DD: I'm off work for two weeks, remember? And so are you. Ain't got nothing but time.

RB: Alright. This is going to be long... About 9 years ago I was in a really bad place. I wasn't functioning for a while. I lost my job and I had to move in with my mother for some time. I was 20 years old and living with my mother again. I told you about my mother, so needless to say, it was hell. She bullied me, kicked me while I was down and enjoyed making me cry so hard that I had to throw up. I felt trapped and I looked for something to distract me and maybe help me to get back on my feet. Here comes the really embarrassing part... I thought meeting a man would do the job. Pathetic, I know that now, but back then I was grasping at every available straw to make me feel anything but all this negative shit that was going on. So, to make a long story a bit shorter, I tried online dating. Only one of my friends knows this (Simone), so don't ever mention this to Danni, please. I got a couple of messages and this one guy lived in the area. We e-mailed back and forth for a while. He was really nice and charming, so after about 3 weeks I decided to be incredibly brave, and we met. I was incredibly stupid. I let him pick me up in his car, in front of our house, let him take me to his place... I get nightmares just thinking about all the things that could have happened. Thankfully he wasn't a serial killer. He was just an asshole. I won't go into details, but as it turned out, it was more or less a bet. He had lost one and had to get it on with a fat chick. His friends picked me and someone else on that dating site. He was allowed to choose which one he would go for and he picked me, saying I was "the lesser evil". Anyway, when you were so nice to me and we had that nice chat last week... well, I woke up Saturday morning and I suddenly remembered that guy from back then and why exactly he had been nice to me, and I was scared that the situation would kind of repeat itself. I thought that maybe... I don't know... you lost a bet or something and had to be nice to me or something, I know it sounds silly, but you read up on my condition and you know that even though I know I'm being an idiot, I can't stop myself from feeling scared and having doubts. I didn't message you back anymore, in order to protect myself. I didn't want to end up being the butt of the joke again. I've had some time to think in the past couple of days, and I'm sorry that I assumed you were just another asshole. I really don't think that you are, but you know... Fucked up in the head. Hard to trust others, bla bla bla.

She finally hit "Send", amazed that it had allowed her to type all that text in just one go. It had taken a couple of minutes to write it down, and Daryl would have gone insane if it wouldn't have been for the words "Rainey Behr is typing..." in the header of the messenger window. She really hadn't lied when she had said it was a long story. He read slowly, his eyebrows rising higher and higher, anger starting to build, making his heart beat a lot faster in his chest and making him pull almost aggressively on his cigarette. So many thoughts were flying through his head at breakneck speed, he didn't know which one he was supposed to voice first. That thing with the guy and getting in his car and going to his place, that was the one that made him loose his mind the most.

DD: Are you crazy? You could have been killed! What the hell were you thinking? And to think that he knew where you fucking lived! What happened with him? He hurt you? Rape you? What?

RB: I know I was stupid, Daryl. Trust me, I know that. It will never happen again, I can promise you that. And no, he didn't rape me. He thought I was "a lesser evil" remember?

DD: But you did something with him. Didn't you? That was the bet, right?

RB: That's really not important. You wanted to know why I didn't text you back and I told you why. I'm really sorry that I assumed you would be like him and his friends. This is absolutely not the same situation and I see that now and I'm sorry for being weird. I have to learn how to trust and what can I say? It's tough.

DD: Yeah, I get that. Same for me.

RB: Really?

DD: Yes. Trusting others ain't easy for me neither. I'm kinda learning how to do it right now, too. Just like you.

RB: And me going radio silence probably didn't help with that, did it? I'm really sorry.

DD: Wasn't fun, gotta say. Didn't get what happened. Good that you told me now. I understand why you did it. But I ain't like that. I ain't got no friends who picked you or something. You know how we met. Was nothing planned about that.

RB: I know. Like I said, I am sorry. It's just my stupid head. It needs some time to figure things out sometimes. I treated you like crap and I can't say how sorry I am nearly enough.

DD: It's okay, forget about it. I forgive you for it. I get it.

RB: Thank you. I should let you get back to it. You're probably at the bar.

DD: I am. Why don't you come down. I'll wait outside for you. Won't have to come in alone.

RB: That's sweet, but I can't. I'm not prepared for it tonight.

DD: So what are you doing? TV again?

RB: Yep. As usual.

Before he replied again, Daryl quickly went inside and paid for his drinks. As soon as he was outside again, he made a beeline for his truck. He wanted to keep texting with her, but he didn't feel like standing around in the cold or being surrounded by other guys while he did it. He drove home and just shed his jacket and vest, and kicked off his boots before he laid on his back on the sofa and grabbed his phone.

DD: Sorry. Went home real quick.

RB: Didn't have fun?

DD: Was kinda boring without my smoke break partner.

RB: You mean me?

Daryl smirked when he clearly heard the surprise behind her words.

DD: Yeah.

RB: Oh. Okay.

DD: Oh okay? What's that mean?

RB: Nothing. I just didn't think I'd be good entertainment or something.

DD: You are. It's why I don't get why guys are shitty to you.

RB: I'm an asshole magnet.

DD: I suppose you are, but don't worry. I look out for you when you come to the bar.

RB: That's really sweet. Thank you. But I understand if you'd rather not be seen with me there. I know guys like Phil will give you shit for talking to me.

DD: Don't care about that. I like talking to you and I do whatever I damn well please. I don't care what people say about that.

RB: I wish I had that attitude.

DD: I'll teach you.

RB: I wish it were that simple.

DD: Maybe it is.

RB: Maybe. I don't know.

DD: Good thing that we have time to find out. Not pressuring you though. Okay?

He had quickly added the last part, thinking that he sounded a bit too bossy. He didn't want to overwhelm her and make her shut down again.

RB: Okay. Thank you.

DD: Just promise me something.

RB: What?

DD: Let me check out the guys you wanna date from now on. And for fuck's sakes, don't get into cars of guys you don't know. And don't go home with someone you don't know.

Rainey smiled, albeit a little bit bitterly. _There it is. Daryl Dixon just friend-zoned me._ Making her promise to let him check out guys she wanted to date... Yeah, that was what friends did. Her heart felt a little heavy, but she was okay with that. She had been very sure that he had no romantic interest in her, but still, a little fantasy had remained. At least now she knew for sure and would be able to tell herself over and over that he wasn't interested and would hopefully be able to keep herself from falling in love with him in the future.

RB: I don't have to promise that. I don't date, so nothing for you to check out.

DD: You hating all men now?

RB: No, I don't. I'm just too damaged to have a boyfriend.

_Maybe having a boyfriend would be good for you, girl. Someone who shows you, you're awesome, _Daryl thought while he typed his next message.

DD: You ever try? Apart from that online dating jackass?

RB: I had a boyfriend when I was younger.

DD: How young?

RB: I was 14 when we started being together. We were together four months, so by the time it ended, I was 15.

DD: How was it for you?

RB: It was great. I really liked him. Those four months we spent together were great. I loved having a boyfriend. I was so proud that I was able to have one despite being so painfully shy, you know?

DD: Okay, but then why don't you wanna date no more if it was so great?

RB: The way it ended. He got what he wanted and left. He cheated on me. One day everything was fine and the next he walked right past me with another girl on his arm, no longer acknowledging me. I guess everybody would be really hurt by that, but '"normal" people move on after a while. Me, being so wonderfully screwed up, I just felt like I wouldn't ever be able to trust a guy again. I felt like he had confirmed what my family had always said. That I'm really not worth caring about. His friends told me that he had cheated on me with various girls the whole four months. Even 14 or 15 years later, every time I find myself liking someone, I remember what he did and something inside of me just shuts down. My parents comments didn't help.

DD: What did they say?

RB: That I wasn't pretty enough. Not interesting enough and not thin enough. They made fun of me, telling me that I'm too big for him, that the poor guy has to really struggle in order to hold me in his arms... too much mass to handle.

DD: That's fucking bullshit. Gimme their address. I wanna kick their asses. That ex of yours, too. You ain't fat. I've seen fat people. You ain't one of them. Don't let those assholes tell you that. Reading that shit makes me fucking angry.

RB: Don't get angry. It's been a long time ago. No reason to get upset about it anymore.

DD: You say that, but you still think about it and let it keep you from meeting guys. Right?

RB: It's not exactly like that. You know I go out to places with the girls. It's not like I never want to meet someone. I try to put myself out there, but no one is interested. You saw what happened. I get made fun of or men actually like my figure, but they are really creepy about it and get way too close and start touching me and all that stuff.

DD :You're confusing the shit out of me right now.

Rainey laughed out loud when he wrote that. It wasn't the first time someone had told her that. It was a regular occurrence.

RB: What's confusing you?

DD: You had a boyfriend and loved that. But you say you can't trust guys anymore. Then you say that you do try to put yourself out there, meaning you do want a boyfriend, but then you say you're too damaged to have one.

RB: Yep, sounds about right. Which part is giving you trouble?

She grinned while she added a winky face emoji. Confused Daryl was fun for her.

DD: What the hell is it? You want a guy or not?

RB: It is hard to explain, obviously. I think I would love to have a boyfriend again, but I am not sure if I'd be able to do it. It's been so long, and like my friends always say, I've never been in an adult relationship, I have no idea about those, so I just don't know if I can do that. There are just so many factors involved that have me worried. I don't know if I'd be able to shut my mind off enough to overcome that crap, you know? That's the best I can do explanation-wise. It would probably take the most understanding and most patient guy in the world to be with me. I am able to drive people insane pretty quickly with my attacks and sudden mood swings and such. See, that's another factor. What guy would put up with that for very long? I'm a lot of work.

DD: Some people like a challenge, you know?

RB: Ha, yeah well, I haven't met them.

_Maybe ya have, _Daryl thought. He was happy with what he had learned so far. He didn't quite know what to do with the information, but it was a good start that she didn't hate on all guys. Now the real challenge began. How do you make someone be your girlfriend? How did two socially unskilled people get together and start dating? How did two socially unskilled and inexperienced people kiss for the first time when no one dared to take the first step? How did they have sex for the first time? Unfortunately Daryl had no answer to those questions. Not yet.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas.**

**Chapter 6 is already finished and will be posted soon, and Chapter 7 is already in progress, so you shouldn't have to wait too long for that either:)**

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**vexingvixen7**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

They kept texting throughout the next couple of days, talking about this and that, and getting to know each other better in a way that proved to be very comfortable for the both of them. On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, when Rainey had excused herself from texting in order to take a shower, Daryl used the time to look through their chat history. He soon noticed that he was the one who asked all the questions. Even though they were both more open during chatting via phone, than they were during chatting eye to eye, Rainey still barely ever asked him anything. It looked like she wasn't interested in knowing anything about him at all, but Daryl guessed, that that was not the case.

Daryl Dixon: Just noticed something. You can ask me shit, too. I don't mind.

He sent the message and dropped his phone next to him on his dining table, where he was sitting having a coffee and some of her cupcakes. He knew she was in the shower and would probably take a little longer before she would reply.

Rainey Behr: Sorry, I know it comes off as rude. I've been told that before, but I don't wanna seem like I'm nosy or prying. It's part of the 'I don't want to bother people'-package.

DD: That means you do have questions?

RB: Of course I do. I just never ask them.

DD: Fire away.

He was curious what she would ask. He thought it must be quite a lot of questions when it took her a couple of minutes to respond, and when his phone finally beeped, he anxiously picked it up to take a look at what she wanted to know.

RB: Hm. I guess right now I don't know what to ask.

Daryl's chest deflated a little in disappointment.

DD: Are you kidding? You just said you had questions.

RB: Well yeah, some come up during a conversation, but I guess I forget them as soon as they are no longer relevant.

DD: How can you forget what you wanted to know?

RB: By now you should know that I am weird.

Daryl wouldn't exactly call her weird, but she was most definitely socially even more inept than he was. He had never ever thought something like that was possible, but here she was. He had to admit, that it gave him some sort of strength to push through his own bullshit and take more initiative, though.

DD: Not weird. Just different. It's fine. From now on just ask if you wanna now shit.

RB: Okay. Will do.

DD: I'll make sure to remind you.

RB: Good idea.

DD: Now all clean and back on the couch? Another night in front of the TV planned?

RB: Pretty much.

DD: Since you're all showered and shit, why don't you come to the bar later?

RB: I don't know.

DD: Come on. It's Christmas. You haven't been there in a while.

_Haven't seen ya in a while, _Daryl thought while he typed. He was hopeful, because she hadn't said no right away this time.

RB: That might be right, but I thought we didn't celebrate Christmas?

DD: Maybe it's time for a new tradition. Like I said last time, I'll wait for you outside and you don't have to stay long if you don't feel good being there. Just a drink and a smoke.

RB: When will you be there?

_Alright! _Daryl was smirking.

DD: Wanna make it 8?

RB: Yeah sure.

Rainey's reply seemed nonchalant, but her hands were shaking. Going back to that bar where she had been harassed was a really big and nerve-wracking thing for her. Daryl would have to be her anchor. She only hoped that it wouldn't be too awkward and that they'd both feel more comfortable around each other and more comfortable talking to each other now that they've been in contact via Kik a lot.

DD: Good. I'll be outside. And we only go inside if you're really up for it, alright?

That made Rainey calm down a little. And it made her smile. Big time.

RB: You're really good at this, you know?

DD: What?

RB: Handling my stupid bullshit. Being understanding, but still the exact right amount of pushy. You're like the male version of my friend Simone, only that it took her YEARS to get me. You seem to be a natural.

That painted a triumphant smile on Daryl's face, but it got replaced by a frown quickly. _Did she just compare me to one of her girlfriends? That ain't good, right?! _He once again realized that he had absolutely no clue how to show her that he liked her, and that he wouldn't be opposed to something a little more than just being friends. He wasn't the guy to take the first step, but knowing that Rainey was even more shy and socially inept than him, he knew that if he wanted something more to happen, he would have to risk it and take that stupid first step, and put himself out there first. That thought was nothing short of terrifying to him. He had no idea if he'd ultimately be able to do it. In the end he might have to settle for a friendship one way or another.

DD: I'll take that as a compliment.

RB: You should. Not even the rest of my friends handle it all that well, because they just can't imagine what it's like. So you can pride yourself on your ability of being this understanding and empathetic.

Understanding and empathetic... Nobody had ever used those words to describe him. It did make him feel proud. It also inspired him with confidence that she would be able to trust him eventually.

They took a break from texting shortly after that, because Rainey needed time to prepare herself for the night out. He wished he could help her, but for now he figured that he was doing so by giving her the space she needed.

* * *

><p>He checked his phone at 7.59 pm, and when he looked up, he saw Rainey walking down the street. Seeing her for the first time in almost two weeks put a smile on his face. He tried to suppress it, not wanting to look like a grinning fool, but he wasn't able to get rid of it completely. A little smile remained. He thought she looked amazing in her dark jeans, knee-high boots and a black and white plaid shirt, and her leather jacket. She had her hair up in a ponytail with some strands framing her pretty face. Her eyes were all shiny and she was smiling shyly at him. Daryl felt his heart flutter at the sight of her. Yeah, he was screwed for sure.<p>

He quickly busied himself with lighting two cigarettes, so when she came to stand in front of him, he was able to hand one over to her.

"That again?" she giggled slightly when she accepted the cigarette.

"Yeah, that again." Daryl smirked around the filter of his own cigarette. "The way I see it... 12 cupcakes for 12 smokes. So I still owe ya 9."

"It's not about owing, Daryl. They're gifts."

"Right. Then I still have 9 gifts to give ya."

"Alright, if you say so." she laughed lightly, the sound making Daryl's heart flutter again, and making warmth spread through him. "I think I'll stop arguing about this now."

"Good." he smiled before he took a dragged and inhaled deeply. "How you feelin'?"

"Surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would." Rainey smiled. She was nervous, but within her normal range.

"Sounds good. If ya need anything just say it, alright? I got your back." Daryl told her genuinely, looking directly into her eyes while he said it.

"Thank you. Like I said earlier, you are amazingly good at this."

"I know it's tough for you being here. Just want you to enjoy yourself as much as possible. We can go in, we can stay out here, we can go somewhere else if you want to. Don't matter. Whatever makes ya feel best. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm good here, right now."

"Good." he gave her a little smile. "This is the first time you're here without your girlfriends, huh?"

"It's the first time I've been going out without my girlfriends ever!" She laughed.

"For real?"

"Yes. For real. But again, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. You're here. Knowing that you get what's going on helps me a lot."

"Well, maybe that'll make you come out more often. With or without them. Don't always have to be here. There's other places we could go..." he trailed off and cleared his throat awkwardly.

Rainey noticed that it was the second time he had mentioned going somewhere else. "You have something in mind?" she asked curiously.

"Umm... dunno." he shrugged. "Where do ya usually go. Before y'all came here to check this bar out?"

"Lots of different places. Cocktail bars, restaurants and such. Not really my scene. I'm the most comfortable just getting a coffee somewhere, to be honest. I absolutely love The Whistle Stop Café. That's pretty much the only place outside of my apartment where I feel comfortable the most." Rainey explained with a little smile on her face. She had fallen in love with that place the first time she ever went, and it really was the only place she was able to relax without too much effort.

"They still open?" Daryl asked, thinking that it would be best to take her there instead of inside the bar.

"No. Unfortunately not."

"Another time then..." Daryl's tone made it sound like a question.

"Gladly! Yes." Rainey smiled. Now that she knew that he only saw her as a friend, it kind of took some pressure off of her, and she really was less nervous around him. She happily agreed to meet him alone again.

They stayed outside for two smokes, then Rainey was brave enough to go inside with him. Despite it being Christmas Eve, it was pretty crowded and she wasn't able to stop fidgeting and squirming. Daryl was great, but it was just too loud and too crowded in there. Rainey felt like she might suffocate. "I'm sorry, I need to go back outside." she told Daryl after about ten minutes of being inside.

"Alright, let's go." Daryl didn't waste any time. He paid for their drinks right away and quickly led her outside. "You okay? You having an attack?" he asked and gently touched her arm when he noticed her breathing in deeply.

"No... just a little overwhelmed. Just need some fresh air. Phew... I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. There ain't no need for it. All is good. You wanna go home?"

"No, not really, but I'm not sure that I can go back in."

He nodded and averted his gaze, looking at the ground deep in thought while chewing on his bottom lip. He started shifting his weight, being a bit nervous about the thing he was about to suggest. "Look... just a suggestion... no pressure, alright...?"

"What?" she asked curiously.

"It's cold... It's Christmas. Ain't much around we can go... What about one of our places? My house or your apartment? We can just watch TV... talk some more..."

Rainey smirked. "It sounds like a good idea, but I promised someone not to go home with strange men."

"Shit... that's right." he scoffed out a laugh. "But you can text your friends. Tell them where you're going, my address, phone number... Whatever makes ya feel safe. Or we go to your place."

Rainey would love to take him back to her apartment, but she wasn't quite there yet. She preferred visiting people instead of having them visit, most of the time. She liked having her space to herself and she hated being rude and kicking people out when she felt like she wanted to be alone again. If she went to visit someone else, she could just leave and go back home without much of a fuss. Her friends were used to all her quirks by now, but Daryl wasn't privy to everything yet, and she would feel really bad kicking him out. She didn't mind going with him to his place, though. Although she tended to be a bit uncomfortable at first when she visited people, it was still better than the bar or other public places. "Let's go to your place." she said with a smile.

"Really?" he was surprised that she had agreed to it this quickly.

"Yes."

"It won't be uncomfortable for ya?"

"A little, but not nearly as bad as something like this." she pointed towards the building.

"Okay. Good. Over there, that's my truck. I'll take you to your car and then ya can just follow me, alright?"

"Sounds good." She had to bite her lip in order to hide how big her smile was. He was being so chivalrous, it was wonderful to experience. She could certainly get used to it. When she was safely in her car he walked back to his own. While he did that Rainey took the opportunity to text the girls where she was going. She had trust in Daryl, but better safe than sorry. Simone texted her back, telling her to have fun. Rainey then put her phone back in her bag and started her engine when Daryl was back at his own car. She pulled out into traffic just in time for her to be directly behind him while he led the way. Nervousness and excitement shot through her. She was really doing this. She had made friends before, but this was new because this was a man. She felt proud that a man like Daryl wanted to be friends with her, and have her in his space. She was curious about his place. She had no idea how a "man cave" looked these days. It would be fun to find out.

* * *

><p>Daryl lived on the outskirts of town. There was a lot of green and trees with just a couple of houses here and there. There were no immediate neighbors and despite already trusting him a little, in the back of her head she found herself being glad that she had let her friends know where she was going. His driveway was long and paved with gravel. If she hadn't known any better she would have assumed that he had led her right into the woods, because it sure looked that way with all the trees, wild brushes surrounding the driveway, and leaves covering the dirt ground. She briefly wondered if this maybe was considered the woods already. After all, they were right at the edge of town and the woods were right nearby. She almost laughed when she noticed that he had a small barn with a creepy lamp hanging right over the entrance, ominously lighting the gate. It had an attached carport, where Daryl parked his car. Rainey stopped behind him and shook her head with a laugh.<p>

"Geez, that barn looks like straight out of a horror flick." Rainey said to herself. Surprisingly it didn't scare the shit out of her. She must be trusting Daryl more than she thought. She got out of the car and looked towards the house. It looked nice enough and not nearly as threatening. It was surprisingly big, though. "You own all this?" she asked while she took in her surroundings.

"Nah... not yet. Renting to buy."

"I should change my field of work." she was clearly impressed and it made Daryl's chest puff out. Nobody had ever been impressed by something of his before. Whether she knew it or not, but Rainey was doing wonders for his abused ego.

"It's pricey, yeah." he admitted. "I make good money though and I don't spend much, so it's alright." This house was the first luxury he had ever allowed himself. He didn't mind cutting down on some things in order to be able to afford it. After growing up in dark and dank houses, living out of cars and in trailer parks, he'd only ever wanted for a real home. Once again, he felt bad thinking it, but ever since he didn't have to sponsor Merle's drug and alcohol addiction anymore, he'd finally been able to make at least one of his dreams come true. He had looked at a couple of houses, but with this one, it had been love on first sight. He was enjoying solitude and quiet out here, but he was still in town in a jiff, if he wanted company and a drink. He had hesitated, but the fact that he was able to stroll directly into the woods to hunt had sealed the deal, despite it being pricier than he had planned. He stood next to Rainey and proudly looked over his home for a moment, before he focused back on her. "You still doing okay? Good enough to go inside?"

"Yes. Lead the way." she smiled and made a motion with her hand to tell him to go ahead.

She didn't know what she had expected, but she for sure she hadn't expected it to be this nice, clean, neat and warm and cozy. Her jaw damn near hit the ground when she saw that he had a freaking stone fireplace in his living room. He gave her a tour and she kept getting more and more impressed. The walls of the rooms partially had wood paneling, matching the wood of the door frames and the kitchen cabinets. The rest was painted in an eggshell white, so it wasn't too dark inside the house. It had a rustic charm and she thought that it really fit Daryl. It also had a bit of an open-plan feel to it, giving her the impression that he might have removed some walls to create more open space. The house was beautiful and quite big for just one person. 4 bedrooms and 3 baths, a fireplace... It was a family home. It brought up questions, and because she had promised she would, she asked one of them.

"Did you work on this yourself? It seems so... open... In a good way." she quickly added, not wanting him to think she was criticizing his home.

"Yeah. Not too much though. Just knocked a couple of unnecessary walls down. I hate feeling like I'm trapped in a cage. I like open spaces." he explained while they made their way back into the living room.

"Why's that?" she asked while she sat down on his big leather couch, after he had motioned for her to do so.

He shrugged. "Grew up in tiny, not so nice places. Never really had space to myself, except for out in the woods, when I used to go out there. Maybe I'm claustrophobic... dunno."

She nodded with a smile. "That explains why it's so big. You do like your space."

"I do. First thing I ever really had for myself. Still weird sometimes. Being alone."

"You miss your brother. Understandable." Rainey smiled with understanding in her eyes. He had told her about Merle and his death during one of their chatting sessions. She looked around again, then smiled. "I'd be scared out of my mind alone out here. Surrounded by nature and all this wood inside the house. It makes these creaking and cracking sounds at night, doesn't it?"

"It does. But you get used to it."

"Yeah, but until then I'd have to buy new sheets and mattresses on a regular basis. I'd piss myself every night." she laughed. "It's really beautiful, though. I really like it here."

"You do? Don't feel to bad?"

"No, I actually feel pretty comfortable. It's big, but it's still cozy, you know? Warm and homey. Really nice."

"Well, like I said, it's cold. Whaddaya think? Wanna build a fire and then watch some TV?"

"Now you're talking." She nodded smilingly.

"Alright. Can I get ya anythin' first? You hungry? Thirsty?"

"Umm... I don't wanna inconve-"

"Stop! You ain't inconveniencing me. I want you to feel at home. Now. What is it?"

"A drink would be great." she smiled shyly with red cheeks.

"Let's see... I got water, orange juice, soda... coffee?"

"Soda would be awesome. I love coffee, but more than two cups a day make my anxiety attacks worse."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately. It sucks, because I love my coffee."

"Soda it is then." He got a bottle from the fridge and two glasses and set them on the coffee table before he set out to build a fire in the fireplace.

"Oh hey... you got Hannibal on DVD?" she was surprised when she noticed the DVD case sitting on the coffee table.

"Yeah..." he quickly averted his gaze, not wanting her to see him blushing. "You said it was something you watched... Thought I would check it out. Didn't find it airing anywhere, so I got the DVDs."

"Cool. Ha, oh my God, I don't think I'd be able to watch it, living alone in this big house. I'd never sleep again." she giggled while she watched him make a fire. She tried not to, but her eyes roamed over his form kneeling by the fireplace. His arms were covered, but that didn't keep his broad shoulders from being displayed wonderfully while he worked. He was, simply put, one hell of a gorgeous human being.

"So we're not watching that then, huh?" he startled her out of her short reverie.

"No, better not. I'd be too jittery driving home later." she smiled, then she kept watching him while he worked in silence. Soon enough, a nice fire was crackling in the fireplace and Daryl took his seat next to her on the couch.

"Still feel good?"

"Yes, Daryl. It's really sweet how attentive you're being, but you really don't have to ask me every five minutes. I feel good right now. I feel comfortable, which admittedly is a small miracle since it's my first time here, but really... all is good."

"Good." He said with a small smile. He was very satisfied with her reply. He grabbed his own glass with soda and scooted into his corner of the couch, putting his feet up. "If ya take yer boots off, you can put your feet up, too."

Rainey blushed. She was comfortable, but not quite that comfortable yet. "I'm good." she smiled politely, but shifted a little so she was facing him more again.

"Tell me more about that boyfriend ya had." Daryl said. He was curious about that part of her life, and he thought maybe it might give him some pointers as to how you got together with someone else. "How'd you meet?"

"How'd we meet...?" Rainey frowned, having to think about that for a moment. "At his New Year's Eve party, I think... No! No, now I remember. Anna had a party a couple weeks before New Year's Eve, when her parents went out of town for a weekend. Right, that's when we met for the first time. It was my first party. Well, I was 14, of course it was my first party. Anyway. Her older brother was friends with him. So many people were there, and he was this short guy, but with a broad build. He was strong and he kind of played bouncer." Daryl watched her with a little smile while she talked. She wasn't looking at him, she was focusing on an invisible spot on his couch, with her brows furrowed in concentration while she tried to remember. It was cute. "I don't think we talked much that night. I actually had a crush on someone else and he was there, too, so all my focus was kind of on that guy. Ha... funny coincidence, they were both called Dennis. Anyway, Anna and Simone got invited to his New Years Eve party two weeks later. They asked if they could bring me and he said yes. That night we talked a little, but not much. My childhood friend Oliver was there and I talked to him for most of the evening. Dennis was busy talking to another girl and I remember that I was disappointed about that. It's funny, I don't even remember how I started having a crush on him." she laughed, making Daryl laugh a little right along with her. "Well, that's teenagers for you. Guess it just starts randomly sometimes. But I remember that after that party I was totally in love with his broad shoulders and back. And his hair. And his eyes, and all that stuff. Like I said I don't quite remember how it all happened, but a week after New Years, Anna and Simone said something about him being interested, too, and... Oh my God, Daryl! I remember now! I was so brave!" Rainey laughed with pure astonishment in her expression. She had forgotten all about what she had done back then, over the years. It was all coming back to her now.

"What did you do? You take the first step?"

"I did!" She was surprised at her own courage. "Oh my God, but it was so awkward. Anna and Simone convinced me to call him and invite him to the movies. Oh God, Daryl, it was so embarrassing." Rainey was full-on laughing now, tears springing to her eyes when she remembered all the details. It all put a real smile on Daryl's face. He was loving this. She looked so pretty in the glow of the fire, which made this comforting crackling sound in the background. He finally saw a more relaxed and open side to her, and he liked it a lot. She had just started telling her story and he already felt like he could listen to her and watch her talk like this for an eternity, and never get tired of it. "So I called his number, he answered and I was like 'Hi, this is Rainey'. And then he said the worst thing he could have said in that moment."

"What?"

"He said, 'Who?'... Oh God, I almost died. I had him on speaker and Anna and Simone were cringing. It was so awkward. I mean, hello, my name is not that common, and he asked 'who?'? That was just awful." she was still laughing. "But I explained who I was and I kept being brave and asked him to watch Titanic with me and my friends, and he agreed."

"So ya went to the movies?"

"Yep. A couple of days later. Anna, Simone, Danni and me with Anna's brother Jo, his friend Julian and Dennis."

"Okay, then what happened? How you get together with him?"

"Well... we sat next to each other in the movie theater, watching the beginning of the movie... I don't know exactly how many minutes into the movie it was, but eventually I felt something tickling my hand. I thought it was a spider and got the shock of my young life." She told him, making Daryl laugh out again. "But it was actually his pinky finger, testing the waters, I guess. I don't remember if he just grabbed my hand after that or something, but I guess we ended up holding hands. A little later I heard him whisper something. I didn't understand what he'd said, so I turned to look at him and that's when he said 'fuck it' and then he just kissed me. And the next time I looked at the screen, Rose was blowing the whistle and calling for the boats to come back."

"Ya made out the whole movie?"

"Pretty much. It spared me the embarrassment of crying in front of everyone. Although I wouldn't have been the only one. Julian cried. It was so cute." Rainey smiled with a little laugh. "I get why Anna snapped him right up. They've been together for 14 years already."

"Wow." Daryl was impressed by that, but he quickly focused back on Rainey's part of the story. "That Dennis guy... he kissed you, you made out for two hours and then ya just were a couple?"

"Yeah. That's how it went. There was no talk about it or something. We were just together for the next 4 months." Rainey watched him nod while he chewed on his lip again. She noticed that he seemed to be doing that a lot. Must be a habit of his. "Why? Is that weird? How'd you get together with your girlfriends?"

The question made him freeze. He cursed that he had encouraged her to ask him questions, too. Of course she had to ask **that**. Daryl cleared his throat and shrugged. "Same... Parties..."

"Right... guess that was pretty much how it went back in the day." Rainey thankfully didn't ask him to elaborate. Somehow he didn't want to admit that he'd never had a girlfriend. Not yet, anyway.

"Think you'll ever be that brave again? Take the first step? Inviting a guy out?" Daryl asked her next.

"Oh geez, I don't know... Never say never. And hey, Anna and Simone are still my best friends. Lord knows what they'd be able to talk me into these days."

"You still like guys?"

"How do you mean?" Rainey wasn't quite getting the question, because she was pretty sure he wasn't asking whether she was homosexual now or not.

"You still... I dunno... see a guy and like him? Get interested? Or is that part dead, 'cause guys keep being shitty to you?"

Rainey didn't let it on, but she was beginning to think that Daryl asked the weirdest questions. Or maybe it wasn't weird and she just wasn't used to someone being this super interested in her and her life. "No, that part is not dead. I still see guys and like them. I still have crushes, but nothing ever comes of it. You know why."

"Yeah." he hesitated, thinking he was getting way too obvious, but he couldn't help being curious. "You ever think about what would happen if a guy would like you now? Assuming you'd like him, too?"

"Gosh... I have no idea. That thought that someone would wanna be with me is so surreal and absurd to me by now..."

"Shouldn't be." he sighed deeply.

"But it is... It's been so long... and the two times I thought someone liked me, it was actually just an act. How am I supposed to trust the next man who says he likes me?"

"Cause we ain't teenagers no more. No more stupid games... Guess ya need someone who can show you he's for real. And you gotta keep an open mind, I reckon. Give him a chance... be open and brave or shit like that." Daryl muttered quietly. He just realized how hard it would be and how long it might take for Rainey to trust that he was for real, **if **he would ever have big enough balls to tell her that he was having a thing for her. It didn't scare him off, though. He did like himself a challenge.

Rainey laughed. "Wow. You are really rooting for me having a boyfriend in the future, huh?"

"Just think it might not be the worst idea for you ta have one." Daryl shrugged.

"What about you?" Rainey asked, making Daryl's head whip up sharply and his eyes widen, because he thought she was saying 'how about you be my boyfriend?'.

"Me?" he swallowed hard.

"Yeah, why is a man like you still single?" Rainey asked with a smile, making Daryl breathe again when she clarified.

"A man like me?" he frowned at her. "What's that mean?"

"Well..." Rainey blushed and waved her hands around in his direction. "You know... a man like you... you look... you are... well... different than me..."

"I would sure hope I'm different than you... I'm a guy and you're a woman." Daryl smirked.

"You know what I mean. You are nice and... attractive..." she blushed again at the last word. "It's surprising to me that you are single."

_She thinks I'm attractive? And nice? _He had a hard time suppressing his smile again. _Guess that ain't bad, for starters._

"Had other things on my mind for a long time." Daryl shrugged once more.

"Your brother?"

"Yeah. Told you, he liked to get himself in trouble. Didn't wanna drag an outsider into that." he said, being completely honest with her about why he had been single for a long time. He just didn't elaborate on how long exactly he had been single. "He wasn't a nice guy. Can't even imagine what he would've done if I would have brought someone home I liked. Would have been a disaster. Merle didn't let up, ya know... never could... He would have... dunno... taunted and shit... Wouldn't have ended well." Daryl told her, while he stared at a loose thread on a couch pillow his fingers were playing with.

"I get that. It's like it was with my parents. When I brought Dennis home... they liked him, but as you know, they didn't like me. They kept making fun of me in front of him... I'm guessing that's a route Merle would have taken too, hm?"

"Yeah. He loved calling me a pussy." Daryl laughed humorlessly.

"He was an idiot for doing that. I think you are an amazing guy. Brave and strong..." She was embarrassed again, her cheeks turning red once again. "I don't have to tell you that you are my personal miracle..."

"I am?" he asked smilingly.

"Sure are." Rainey said and they shared a bit of an awkward smile, before they burst out into laughter.

"Alright, wanna watch some TV now?" Daryl suggested, thinking they had talked enough for the moment. He had a feeling that they both could use a break from talking for a little while.

"Sure, why not." she smiled and shifted her position again to face the TV and the fireplace. Daryl turned on the TV and looked for something they could watch together. There was a lot of Christmas-themed crap on and he had a hard time settling on something.

"Christmas Vacation?" he finally asked her when he found that it was the best option.

"Yeah, that's good. Never gets old." Rainey smiled. She slid down a little, making herself a bit more comfortable while. "Merry Christmas. Shitter was full." Rainey laughed while she quoted Eddie at the same time he said it on screen.

"I see you know that one..." Daryl deadpanned, making her laugh more.

"It was a tradition in my family to watch this every Christmas. Only tradition I ever liked and kept around."

Daryl nodded and they kept watching the movie in silence. Soon Rainey's eyes drifted over to the fire and she watched that for a while. An odd sense of calm she usually only ever experienced in her own home settled over her while she watched the flames dance and listened to the noises the fire was making. She thought about how she should invest in a DVD that would make such a fire show up on her TV for hours, but then again, it might not be the same, because she would know that she didn't own a real fireplace. She didn't even realize just how much the fire relaxed her. She felt comfortable, warm and cozy, but she didn't even realize that she was falling asleep. If she would have realized it, she would have freaked out and gotten out of there like a bat out of hell, because she was not in her home and she hadn't taken her nightly anti-anxiety medication.

"I'm hungry. Ya want a sandwich or something?" Daryl asked about half an hour later, while he scooted out of his corner of the couch. "Rainey?" he frowned when she didn't respond. He looked over, and when he noticed that she had fallen asleep, another smile found its way to his face. That she had fallen asleep in his home had to be a sign that she was comfortable here. It made him feel good. Carefully he dropped to his knees on the floor and scooted over to her. Ever so slowly and carefully he slid down the zippers on her boots and took them off. He put them by the coffee table, before he gently took hold of her legs and lifted them up on the couch. Rainey shifted slightly, making herself more comfortable without waking up. Daryl smiled a little and reached up to grab the blanket from the back of the couch. He covered her with it and remained kneeling in front of her for a moment, studying her sleeping face.

_A real doll, _he thought again. He would really love to kiss her. Her lips looked more than just a little tempting. He would love to lay on that couch with her, wrap himself around her and make out with her for hours, like she had done with her boyfriend back in the day. The guy had just kissed her back then, and she had been okay with that. He wondered if it would be the same nowadays. She was comfortable around him, obviously. She was starting to show her true self to him. It might work out if he'd be able work up the courage to just go ahead and do it... But it all depended on whether or not she liked him back in that way. He now knew that she thought he was attractive and nice, but that didn't automatically mean that she was into him, did it? He'd have to wait and see. See what kind of vibe he'd be getting from her. He only hoped that his inexperience would allow him to pick up on any vibes of that kind.

Daryl eventually left her side to make himself a sandwich. Before he went back to the couch, he got his sleeping bag out of his walk-in closet. He would not sleep in his bed that night. He didn't want to leave her alone in that room. If she woke up from the unfamiliar noises and got scared, he wanted to be there. So when he started to feel tired, he spread out the sleeping bag on the floor, right in front of the couch, and laid down in it, using a pillow from the couch to cushion his head. He fell asleep with Rainey being the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes. He smiled, thinking that he could definitely get used to that.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**I love each and every one of you. You guys are the best. I love the response I'm getting from a lot of you. (I know I say it pretty much every time, but it really is awesome and motivating and inspiring.)**

**Chapter 7 is about half finished by now, so it should be with you soon:) And no, I can't tell you when they will kiss for the first time. It all depends on them and the progress they make. It's out of my hands, lol. But I think they are getting closer to that point.**

**Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers:**

**DarylDixon'sLover**

**jeanf**

**snowbird**

**Nurse jean**

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**wabi-sabi1090**

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**ishibby**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Rainey woke with a start. She literally shot up into a sitting position and was awake in an instant. That never happened. Her pills tended to make her tired and it was hard for her to wake up and open her eyes in the mornings, even on very good days. Her brows knit in confusion when she realized that she wasn't in her bed. Panic bubbled up inside of her as she started looking around, but then her eyes fell on Daryl's sleeping form. Her panic subsided again, leaving only a little sliver of anxiety behind as her breathing evened out again and her features softened. A little smile formed on her lips when she took in his rumpled appearance. He looked adorable all cuddled up in his sleeping bag. Having him sleep gave her the first opportunity ever to study him unabashedly. He had really interesting features. All angled and sharp, but then his lips looked so soft and those moles were pretty cute, softening his appearance a bit. He just had... something... She wasn't able to put her finger on it or put it into words. There was just something about him that was highly appealing and sexy and cute all at the same time.

She looked around again and noticed that it seemed to be light outside already. A small frown settled on her features again when she realized that she had slept. Really slept. In another person's home on the first night she'd ever been there and without her meds. And most importantly, without nightmares and panic attacks. It confused her to no end.

"Rainey?" the sleepy, raspy voice made her look down at the ground next to the couch again. Daryl had pushed himself up, supporting himself on one hand, while he rubbed a tired eye with the heel of the other hand. "You okay?"

"I slept..." she muttered.

"Yeah..."

"No, I mean... Wow... I slept. I didn't take my pill and I actually slept without waking up from panic or anxiety attacks and I didn't have nightmares. Daryl... you don't get it. This never happens. Every single time I forget to take my pill at night, I have the worst and goriest nightmares. I have panic attacks that paralyze me for minutes. I have anxiety attack after anxiety attack... I had none of that last night... how is that possible? What are you? Are you some sort of human dreamcatcher?" Rainey was so confused, but at the same time she felt so good. She wasn't sleepy or tired from the meds and she wasn't exhausted because she hadn't suffered from any attacks. She was rested for once. It was an extremely rare occurrence for her.

"Human dreamcatcher? Guess I am. My house not so spooky after all, huh?" he couldn't help but give her a smile.

"Guess not. Wow, I'm blown away. Seriously. I wasn't even scared of falling asleep. It just happened. That fire worked wonders. Who would have thought?"

"Well, I'm glad ya were able ta sleep. Didn't go to bed so I'd be here in case you'd wake up scared."

"You are truly amazing, Daryl. Thank you so much. I'm sorry I'm such a bother. Let me make you some coffee, okay?" She was grateful and embarrassed at the same time, and she was looking for a way to make it up to him that he had to sleep on the floor.

"Nope. No way. You're ma guest. I'm making coffee."

"I should get out of your hair. I bothered you long enough. I'm so sorry I just fell asleep on you. I swear, that usually doesn't happen and I have better manners than this." She was realizing how rude she had been, even though she hadn't even realized that she had been about to fall asleep.

"Calm down. I didn't mind that ya stayed. I would have woken ya up and kicked ya out if it would have bothered me, alright? Stay. Or ya got a a pet or something to get back to?"

"No..."

"Exactly. Come on. It's Christmas. Now that you're here we can not celebrate together, right? We'll have cupcakes and smokes. And coffee. You drink coffee in the morning, yeah?"

"Yes. One cup in the morning and one in the afternoon." she smiled, suddenly more shy again.

Daryl unzipped the sleeping bag and freed his legs. "Alright. Keep me company?"

"Sure." She nodded with a smile and followed him into the kitchen, noticing that her boots were gone. "Oh... did you take off my shoes?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I think feet are gross, so sorry that you had to go near mine."

"Stop apologizing so much." Daryl winked at her with a little smile. "It's all good." He got the coffee started and opened the fridge to get out some juice, too. "You know how to make pancakes by any chance?"

"I do. Do you want me to make you some?"

"I want you to make **us **some. I think we should make a real breakfast. I got everything here. Bacon, eggs, bread, butter, jam... What do you think?"

Oh how she would love to stay and have breakfast with him. Spending time with him was a dream come true, and she felt like she might get addicted to this house if it let her sleep this well, but... eating in front of him? She was very vulnerable where eating was concerned. "I... umm... I'd love to..."

"Then why am I hearing a 'but' coming up?" Daryl looked at her questioningly while he closed the fridge.

_Be brave. He asked you to stay for breakfast. He told you he wouldn't judge you. He's a nice guy. He obviously knows that you eat. He's not gonna count how many bites you take... _Rainey plastered a brave smile on her face and took a deep breath. "No but... I'd love to. If it's really okay."

"It is. What else we gonna do today? You have plans?"

"No, just a date with my TV, as usual."

"Well,... I have a TV here..." Daryl trailed off. He hesitated and went back to chewing his lip for a moment, before he straightened and looked right at her, deciding to be a little brave as well. "Look... I don't wanna force it on you. I'm just offerin', okay? If you wanna go home that's okay, but if you'd be up for staying around... I got a TV, I got a fridge full of food and drinks, and I got nothin' but time. I wouldn't mind some company. I know ya like bein' alone, but if you're up for it, we can stay here, watch some TV, talk some more and take a walk outside later. Ain't no people around, just trees... well, and me..." he said it pretty calmly, but on the inside he felt like he had babbled and just rattled it off. He really wanted her to stay and he hoped she would. It was real nice having her around. He enjoyed it even more than he'd thought he would.

"I don't like being alone..." she stated quietly. "Sometimes I really need it, but not quite as much as I let everybody think. I love my friends, but they aren't the hanging out at home types, you know? They want to go out and do stuff, which I understand perfectly, but it's not something I like doing too much, because it mostly makes me uncomfortable. I wanna stay in and have a game night, and they want to go out to a club... so sometimes we compromise and they stay in with me sometimes and I go out with them sometimes... but mostly, I just stay at home so they don't have to sacrifice their way of life, kind of... And I'm okay with it. I'm used to being alone, always have been. I don't mind it... but I don't **love **it. You know what I'm saying?"

"I do." Daryl told her. "I don't like going to the bar every night... not really. But it beats sittin' around here alone, listening to myself think all night. I'm used to bein' alone, too. My Pa and Merle were always off somewhere... Like ya said, I was used to it, but I didn't love it. The past couple years I was always with Merle. He was shitty company, but he was company. I got used to it. With him gone... I ain't some kind of social butterfly neither,... but I guess I kinda needed people around. Even if I didn't talk to them, ya know? Bit different from you, but in a way still the same, huh?"

"Sounds like it." Rainey smiled. This time it was her turn to bite her lip while she looked at him hesitantly. "... Maybe... you don't have to go to the bar every night... and maybe I don't have to stay home all the time..."

"Maybe not..." Daryl smiled slightly. "Last night worked for both of us, right?"

"Looks that way." Rainey nodded.

"Never had game night... but it don't sound too bad." Daryl mumbled and shyly peeked up at her from between his long bangs.

"Doesn't have to be game night... There's also movie and cooking night... All of those can also be combined..." She giggled with a light blush covering her cheeks.

"Yeah." Daryl grinned. "We can go to that cafe you like... sometime... We can go for walks around here, like I said... Ain't no one around but me. Fresh air is always good."

"I like taking walks." Rainey smiled. "I just never do it, because I hate doing it alone, and because I hate full sidewalks. Taking walks around here sounds good to me."

"So..." Daryl felt happiness and relief bubble up inside of him. "You gonna stick around today?"

"Yeah. I think I will."

"Alright." Daryl sent her a smile. "Then let's get started on that breakfast. Flour and all that stuff is up there in that cabinet."

They made breakfast together, mostly in companionable silence. Rainey felt great, but the hard part was sitting down and actually having breakfast. She knew she was being silly, but it was hard to overcome her shame. She put a pancake, a little bit of the scrambled eggs and a piece of bacon on her plate and slowly and carefully nibbled on it just a little bit every time when he wasn't looking in her direction. Daryl, of course, noticed how uncomfortable she was while they were eating, but he didn't say anything, nor did he stare at her for longer than necessary. He hadn't thought about it before, but seeing how she behaved now made him realize that she probably wasn't just self-conscious about her body, but also about people seeing her eat. _Probably why she hesitated when I asked her to stay for breakfast. Brave girl. _He smiled to himself when it became clear that she was facing one of her fears right now, and even though she was just nibbling on things like a little bunny, he was proud that she was touching the food at all. It all spelled that she was getting more and more comfortable around him, and he couldn't be happier about it.

* * *

><p>"... and then in that exact moment, she asked me if she had mayonnaise in her eye, and I was literally on my knees laughing my ass off and trying not to pee my pants." Rainey animatedly told a story about how Danni embarrassed herself in front of her high school crush, making Daryl smile and shake his head.<p>

"She's a little crazy, ain't she?"

"Oh most definitely. But in a really good and sweet way." Rainey laughed while they came out of the woods and walked around the barn with the carport.

"Yeah, she seems alright." Daryl said and got a sinking feeling in his stomach when Rainey stopped walking when they had reached her car. The day had turned out awesome. After breakfast they had moved to the couch. They had alternated between talking and watching TV. Mostly Rainey had talked, telling him stories from school and good times with her family, while Daryl had listened, eager to learn more and more about her. They had made lunch together, and while Rainey had been squirming again while eating, she still had eaten a little. After lunch they had taken a one and a half hour walk through the beautiful piece of nature that was surrounding his house. He had hoped to have coffee with her now, build a new fire, keep on doing what they had been doing since last night, but now she was probably about to throw a wrench in that. "What's the matter?"

"I should go home."

"You don't have to." he didn't see the sense in her going home. They would just end up texting again anyway. Why not spare their fingers the exercise and keep talking face to face? That's how Daryl saw it.

"I think I do. I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes... Like... **all **of it..." She laughed, implying that she hadn't been able to put on fresh underwear. "I should take a shower and change."

Daryl was able to offer her a shower, but he doubted she would want to wear his clothes. He would have to let her go, he realized with a deep sigh. "Okay... You gonna find your way back home?"

"Yes, it's not a problem."

"Text me when you're home, okay?"

"I will. Thank you for your hospitality. I had a really great time."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Good, I'm glad. Gon' do this more often, right?"

"Yeah, absolutely. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay." with a heavy heart he let her get into her car and watched her drive off. _Yeah, I'm fucked if she don't like me back like that. _He had loved her being around so much, that he had caught himself fantasizing about her moving into his guest room until they would get together and she would join him in his bedroom. Even if they wouldn't ever be a couple, he could totally imagine them being roommates. The house was big enough for the both of them to have their space when they needed it. He knew that it was way too soon to think about something like that, however. It was just a nice little fantasy for the time being.

Unbeknown to him, Rainey had been fantasizing about the same thing a couple of times throughout the day. She really had felt very relaxed and comfortable in his home. Even the walk had been fun for her, because it truly had only been them, surrounded by trees. She could get used to feeling more carefree and relaxed. She thought that maybe she should consider moving to the outskirts as well. Maybe someone was renting out a small house she'd be able to afford. She definitely wanted to look into it later. She had tasted blood. Maybe getting out of the city would help alleviate her general anxiety a little. There definitely were no neighbors to run into while taking out the trash. But then again, being completely alone out there might make for a new anxiety popping up. She was sure that without Daryl's presence, she would have gone out of her mind. So it was actually Daryl who was key here... not just the location. So yeah, living with Daryl in his house might be the optimal solution, but unfortunately not possible. She could look forward to spending more time there in the future, though, and that prospect lifted her spirits considerably.

* * *

><p>Rainey Behr: I'm home. Going to take a shower now.<p>

Daryl Dixon: That was fast! Did you speed?

RB: No, don't worry. It's Christmas, remember? Traffic was extremely light.

_Right, it's Christmas_... They might not have celebrated, but it had still been the best Christmas he'd ever had. Her cupcakes had been the first gift he'd ever gotten, but he had to say that her company had been an even better gift.

DD: Right. Then go ahead and get clean.

She didn't reply. She was probably already in the bathroom. Naked... with water running over her creamy skin and sinful curves. Daryl clicked on Rainey's Kik profile pic. Ever since they had started chatting, he'd been able to click on that tiny picture and blow it up to full size. She was wearing a dress in that picture. A dress with really thin straps. Her hair was swept over her left shoulder, revealing the smooth skin of her right shoulder, which was bare except for that tiny, thin strap of her dress. He could just imagine little droplets of water sliding down her bare arm and down her upper chest towards her breasts. He guessed that for her standards, the dress was pretty daring, since it only reached down to mid-thigh, revealing her long legs for the most part. Must have been a special occasion. She was sitting sideways on some kind of low wall. One thigh partially resting on the wall with her leg bent at the knee, her other leg straight with her foot on the ground, therefore her legs were slightly apart and he was able to catch a glimpse of the insides of her legs and thighs. Not obscenely much though. The picture was innocent and cute, but it was showing enough skin to kickstart his fantasy. He could just picture his hand sliding up the inside of her thigh, her dress getting caught in that space between his thumb and index finger, making him hike it up more and more, the closer he got to her panties. If she was wearing any. The mental image killed him. He groaned and palmed himself through his jeans, adjusting his growing erection. He closed the picture and put the phone down, thinking it would be smart to cool down before she would reply again. He went into his bedroom and took off his jeans and underwear, looking at his half-hard cock with a frown. "Down, man. Not now." He took off his socks as well and slipped on his old gray sweatpants. On bare feet he trudged through the house, making sure all windows and doors were closed and locked, before he settled on his couch for the rest of the day.

He got comfortable in his corner, when his eyes fell on the opposite corner, which had been occupied by Rainey for the bigger part of the past 24 hours. Frustration began to build. "Now what? Now we go back to texting for hours? Both alone... Neither of us likin' it... Stupid..." he grumbled to himself while he tried to focus on the TV. It didn't quite work, because he had a weird feeling building in the pit of his stomach. When she still hadn't replied almost an hour later, he picked his phone back up and texted her again.

DD: Everything okay?

RB: I have an anxiety attack. I need a moment.

Daryl shot up on the couch and texted a quick reply.

DD: I'm coming over.

RB: You can't help me. And it's over by the time you get here.

DD: You said distraction after is good though. Right?

RB: Right.

DD: I'm coming. Okay?

It took a moment longer, but finally he got an answer.

RB: Okay. Don't ring the doorbell!

Daryl jammed his bare feet into his Red Wing boots, not bothering with changing back into jeans or putting on socks. He grabbed his wallet and keys, turned off the TV and the lights, and left. He had her address memorized from the package she had sent him. He knew where she lived. Now he only hoped that traffic would still be light and he'd be there quick.

* * *

><p>Daryl made good time, and her attack was only just ebbing off when he arrived. Usually she would have made sure to change out of her faded, old black pajama pants with the white floral pattern, not wanting Daryl to see her in her frumpy old comfortables, but she'd had other things on her mind while he had made the trip over. When he lightly knocked on her door she sighed miserably as she looked down at herself. Ugly jammies, black t-shirt and her gray, baggie hoodie, which she had bought from the men's section at Wal-Mart, thinking it would give her more comfort if she would be able to fool herself into thinking that she was wearing a man's piece of clothing. Yeah, she could be pretty stupid at times. Thankfully nobody knew about it.<p>

"Hey." she smiled shyly while she opened the door for him.

"You okay?" he immediately took a step closer and put his hand on her arm, while his eyes searched her face for any signs of distress.

"Definitely better again... It's leaving my system just now..."

"You're pale. That normal?"

"Yeah. Ummm... come on in." She stepped aside to let him in. While he walked past her, she noticed that his boots were unlaced and that he was only wearing sweatpants, too. They even had a small hole in the back of his knee. That made her feel a little better about her own outfit.

Daryl took a cursory glance at his surroundings, taking in her the stuffed living room and a glimpse of the kitchen, before he quickly focused on her. "Come on, sit down. What happened? Wanna tell me about it?" Only when she came walking towards the couch did Daryl notice the different look she was sporting. He'd only ever seen her in her "going out" or "work" outfits. This was certainly different, but he loved it. This was what he wanted to see. The real girl behind the mask of discomfort she wore whenever she was outside of her comfort zone. He wanted to see Rainey when for once she wasn't trying to be perfect. She looked so cozy and comfy, he just wanted to wrap her in his arms and get back on his couch with her. Their outfits matched perfectly and their clothes also matched perfectly with what he'd imagined earlier: wrapping themselves around each other and make out for a long long time. Or just watch TV if Plan A wasn't an option... Which it wasn't at this point.

"It was just a random one. They just pop up out of nowhere, you know?" she smiled a little while she sat down next to him, pulling her knees up to her chest and leaning back against her pillows. Daryl watched her and hoped that soon she'd be able to do that over at his place. This morning she had already been a little less reserved than last night, so there was definitely some progress.

"Right... Read about that. Just thought something happened... Thought ya had a good day so far."

"I had. Guess coming here and being alone again might have played a part. It happens..."

"You didn't have to go." Daryl told her. "Did ya think you had to?"

"No, I didn't. I wasn't thinking that you wanted me gone or something. I just wanted a shower and different clothes and therefore, I had to go home. " She had been sad when she had come home, because she had already missed his company and had known that it was going to be just another night in front of the TV by herself. For once that hadn't been enough for her.

He nodded. "Well... next time just come back if ya feel like it. You can come back anytime, ya hear?"

"You're sweet, thanks." she smiled and he swore he saw a flash of relief crossing her features. She'd obviously still had doubts if she was welcome.

"What do you need? Anything I can do?"

"Distraction is good. You're already doing that. Can I get you anything? I wanted to make some hot cocoa. Would you like some?" Rainey asked while she noticed him looking around.

"Sounds good. That the bathroom?" he pointed towards a door.

"Yeah. Go right ahead."

"Thanks." he got up and Rainey's eyes got as big as saucers, when a slight movement in his sweatpants drew her attention to his crotch. Even to inexperienced eyes like Rainey's, it was very obvious that he was going commando and that his penis was moving freely along the worn fabric of his sweatpants. _Holy crap on a cracker... _Rainey swallowed hard and quickly averted her gaze while her cheeks heated up like a furnace. It had been close to 10 years since she had been up close and personal with a penis, covered or not, so it was kind of an intimidating as well as weirdly exciting experience. She quickly dashed into the kitchen and stuck her face into the fridge for a moment. Now she was no longer pale,... she was very flushed and Daryl would surely notice the difference and ask what was going on. What was she supposed to say then? I saw your penis push against your pants? She heard him flush the toilet and a moment later she heard the bathroom door open. She forced herself to take a deep breath and focus on the task at hand. Still, she couldn't help but be nervous when he showed up in the door frame of the kitchen.

"You got a lot of stuff..." he murmured while he looked around.

"I do. Too much stuff and not enough space. I had to downsize after I lost my job... that's why it's so stuffed to the brim. I don't like it. It seems very restless and that, in turn, makes me restless, but not much I can do about it, so I try to ignore it most of the time. Not always successfully, obviously."

She was right. That was exactly what it was... The apartment did give off a quite restless vibe. Even he felt it, and he was sure if he was affected, it surely didn't help her with her condition. "But you still feel good here?"

"It's hard to explain... as usual." she laughed humorlessly. "It's the only place for me to shut everything out and hide, you know? It's my home and there is nowhere else to go and not meet people. My sanctuary, if you wanna call it that. I don't, but... you know what I mean. It's my home, but I don't always feel good here. Sometimes it drives me insane, because it's too cluttered. And the neighbors are extremely noisy and I sometimes can't fall asleep until up to 3 am, because they yell at each other or slam doors or screw each others brains out and the bed keeps moving... I've been looking for something new for over a year, but it's either too expensive or even smaller than this."

Daryl exhaled deeply. "That fucking sucks."

"Yeah, I try to see the positive side. I'm not homeless." she shrugged, making Daryl scoff.

"Way to be optimistic."

"I have my moments."

Soon they settled on her couch and drank their hot cocoa, and Daryl got some first-hand experience of just how loud her neighbors were. It was unbelievable. Loud crashes and bangs while things hit the floor, making not only Rainey, but even him jump. Yelling and slamming doors with so much force that the pictures on her walls were shaking. "Jesus fucking Christ. They got a pet elephant up there or something?"

"Ha, I asked myself the exact same thing. I always say it sounds like an elephant is using the floor as a trampoline."

Another crash startled them, sounding like their shelves were toppling over and falling to the ground. "That's enough." Daryl put his mug down on her small coffee table. "We're getting out of here. You wanna stay at my place again?"

Hope and relief flooded her system at the prospect of spending more time with him at his house, but she was still hesitant. "I don't want to inconvenience you, Daryl... I don't wanna barge in and take up your space."

"You ain't. I wouldn't offer if you were. Look..." Rainey swore Daryl was blushing there for a minute, and he was biting his lip again for a moment before he continued. "I want you around." he admitted, surprising her to the point that she was wondering if he had really said it. "Thought we agreed on last night working for the both of us... Why be alone at our places if we spend hours texting again anyway? Might as well be together and do it face to face. I got enough space... Got everything we need. If ya need to be alone you can use a guest room. We're both off work... Pack a couple of things ya need and stay for a while. I really don't mind. I like havin' ya... "

Rainey was beside herself with happiness. She didn't know what to do with herself, she didn't know what to do first, she didn't even know what to do with her body anymore,... it was the weirdest thing. Before she knew what was happening, she had pressed a very awkward and way too rough kiss against Daryl's scruffy cheek. Her lips were stinging because she had literally slammed them against his face. Her inexperience showing in spades. Daryl was surprised as hell. He hadn't seen it coming, and now they were both blushing and looking at the ground, albeit with shy, little smiles. Rainey was happy and Daryl was able to feel that he had just made her very happy, which made him happy. He cleared his throat and carefully peeked up at her. "Don't change... stay the way you are and just throw some clothes in a bag, alright?"

"Alright." She giggled and quickly left for her bedroom with her bright red face.

Daryl chuckled ever so quietly and slowly rubbed his fingertips over the tender spot where she had slammed her lips into him. Yeah, it had been kind of awkward, but he didn't care. It had been nice anyway.

Rainey packed a small bag with everything she would need and less than 20 minutes later they were on their way back to Daryl's in separate cars.

* * *

><p>"You didn't even put on socks?" Rainey was laughing when Daryl kicked off his boots as soon as they entered his house. "You could have caught death!"<p>

"Wanted to be there quick..." Daryl shrugged, trying hard not to blush at his eagerness to be with her again.

"You're amazing. I know I keep repeating myself, but seriously... wow."

Daryl smiled bashfully and quickly took her bag from her. "Imma put this in the guest room. That's the one next to my bedroom, alright?"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

"Go ahead, get comfortable on the couch. I'll get us drinks and snacks on my way back." he told her and gently pushed her towards the living room with one hand on the small of her back. Rainey took off her own shoes and her jacket and then followed his "order". She sat down on his sofa and slowly pulled her knees up to her chest and put her feet on the sofa. She was clutching her phone in her hands like it was her anchor. She was still nervous about acting like she was right at home, but it wasn't that bad anymore. His words earlier had certainly helped. He wanted her around. He liked having her... Had he really said that? One thing was for damn sure, he made it damn hard not to fall in love with him. In the back of her head she already knew that it was a lost battle for her. He was just too sweet and too kind. She felt protected when he was around. Friend-zoned or not, he was giving her something she had always craved, and her heart was responding to it, whether she liked it or not.

She was downright giddy on the inside when Daryl built another fire after he'd put a fresh bottle of soda, two glasses and a bag of pretzels on the table. "Can ya get a bowl for those?" he asked and pointed towards the bag of pretzels with a shake of his head, while he was busy with the wood. He hadn't brought a bowl on purpose, thinking it would be good to include her and make her roam around a little to help her feel at home. He had no clue if it would be working, but in his head it had seemed like a good idea.

"Yes. No problem. Which cabinet?"

"Ummm... somewhere on the right I think. Don't use 'em too often." he smiled sheepishly. "Just look around. Ain't got nothin' to hide."

"Oh, okay." Rainey got up and walked into the kitchen. When she stepped foot in it, she almost dropped her phone, which she was still holding, when it suddenly started vibrating. She looked at the display and smiled when she saw that Simone was calling. "Hiiii..." she chirped into the phone happily.

"Oh thank God! Are you alright? Where are you? I tried at home first and got worried when you didn't pick up, what with you having been at Daryl's last night and all."

"Oh I'm sorry, I should have texted you that everything was alright. I spent the night and now I'm back, probably for a couple of days." Rainey told her friend, her face hurting from smiling so big.

Silence.

"You're... wait... what?" Simone was obviously surprised and confused at the same time. "You slept there? On the first night? You slept there and you're fine?"

"Yes, it's a miracle, Simmi. I just fell asleep, and I didn't have any nightmares or attacks. And I didn't even take my meds. And Daryl was so sweet. He slept in a sleeping bag on the floor next to the couch so he'd be there if I'd wake up scared. I went home earlier to take a shower and I got an attack. Daryl came over to be with me after, to distract me, and when he heard how loud my neighbors were, he told me to pack a couple of things and come back here with him. He said he wants me around and that he liked having me. Gosh, he's simply amazing."

"It's turning out to be more than a crush, isn't it?" Simone smiled kowingly. She was getting the strong feeling, that the feelings were mutual, and that Daryl really wanted to be more than just friends, like Danni had suspected all along.

"I'm trying very, very hard not to fall for him,... well, I tried, but I think it's a lost cause." Rainey said, lowering her voice, so Daryl wouldn't hear her. What she didn't know was, that Daryl was right outside the door. He'd heard her voice and had thought she was talking to him, so he'd come closer to ask what she had said. He had realized that she was on the phone and had wanted to go back to the living room, but when he had heard her talk about him, he had been unable to do so. Karma sure would get him for eavesdropping, but nothing was getting him to move away from that door right now, especially since she had just said that thing about falling for him. His heartbeat picked up quite some speed. He might even be shaking, while he held his breath in anticipation. He wasn't sure if it was an internal sensation only, or if his hands were really twitchy and shaking.

_She tried not falling for me... but it's a lost cause... that means she's into me, right? Holy shit. _He swallowed hard and clenched his fists, trying to get rid of that weird tingling in his hands.

"He's great." Rainey went on. "I tried to not get too attached, to flip that famous switch of mine and see him as just a friend, but how can I? He knows how to handle me and my bullshit. He's doing so great with that. I feel so good around him, Simmi. I feel taken care of and protected. I feel more relaxed and carefree. We took a walk earlier and I wasn't paranoid. I just enjoyed myself. He lets me talk. He's interested in what I have to say. He is asking questions, asking me to tell him more... He makes me feel like I'm worth something. I'm comfortable here and I feel safe with him. I'm not able to flip my switch and turn off my feelings that keep building for him. This time I can't, and I'm happy and sad about it at the same time." Rainey got swept up in the whole thing, not realizing that maybe she shouldn't talk about those things in Daryl's house where he might hear her. She wasn't used to someone being around while she was on the phone, so she didn't even remember that he might be close by.

"Why? I mean why are you sad about it? It all sounds so great, Rainey. You know that I am not one to give you false hope, but this really sounds like the real deal. He wants you in his space Rainey. He wants to get to know you, he wants you with him... I have to agree with Danni. This is big. I get the impression that he wants to be with you... as in a relationship."

"No he doesn't want a relationship." Rainey said with a sigh, making both, Daryl and Simone frown. "He friend-zoned me."

_Friend-zoned? _Daryl had heard that term before, he know what it meant. _I didn't... what in the world made ya think that?_

Thankfully for Daryl, Simone asked the exact same question. "He friend-zoned you? How? Did he say outright that he just wants to be friends?"

"No he didn't tell me,... well, in a way he did. I told him about Dennis and Mike. He said that from now on I should let him check out the guys I wanted to date."

"I don't think he meant it the way you think he meant it, Rainey. It was probably just a joke."

"A joke. Hm... Maybe. Possible... But he didn't use an emoji." Rainey said like it was the most logical explanation ever.

_It was a joke. A damn bad one from the looks of it. _Daryl pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Does he usually use emojis?" Simone asked.

"No. Never, actually."

"See? I'm sure it was a joke. He seems really interested. Does that scare you? Maybe that's why you don't want to admit it to yourself that he might want to be more than friends?" Simone guessed, knowing how Rainey ticked.

"I don't know. I would be over the moon... but yeah, I guess a little overwhelmed, too. But maybe not. You know how it was with those guys... I always get overwhelmed left and right, but when they made a move, I was slightly panicked for a short moment, but then I just went with the flow and felt pretty good... I'm guessing it would be the same with him. Although... it might be different because I just like him so much more than the others. I don't know."

"Would you push him away and bolt?"

"No, I don't think so. I've never done that before, so I don't think that would happen. Just be paralyzed for a moment probably." Rainey laughed. "But I don't think we'll find out. He's so sweet, I'm beginning to think he might be gay. Gay guys love me. So it would make sense that he would want me around and be friends with me."

Daryl's eyes almost popped out of his head. Great, so now she thought he was gay? Awesome. He shook his head, having to smirk a little when he was actually able to hear Simone's laughter through the phone for a moment. He had heard enough for now and he didn't want to risk getting caught, so he quietly made his way back to the living room, while the girls kept talking for a little bit longer.

Simone told Rainey to try to keep an open mind and just keep enjoying herself, and that they would talk again soon. They hung up and Rainey looked through the cabinets for a bowl for a pretzels. She noticed Daryl already sitting on the sofa when she came back, and she smiled apologetically.

"Sorry it took so long. Simone called. Just wanted to know if everything was okay."

"You got good friends." he mumbled. Suddenly **he **was nervous. Hoping that she liked him was different than knowing for sure that she liked him. Like that wasn't enough, he now also knew that Rainey thought that he had friend-zoned her, so she for sure wouldn't use the next burst of courage to take the first step. It would have to be him. He would have to show her that she wasn't in the friends-only zone and he would have to wing it, because he had no real clue how to do that, and that, once again, terrified him.

"I do. They are amazing. You know, if it wouldn't have been for Anna wanting to check out the bar, I never would have met you." Rainey just realized.

"Right. Maybe we should send her a thank you gift." Daryl said with a short, nervous smile.

"Yeah." Rainey looked at him with concern, because he seemed a little weird. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just need a smoke." Daryl grabbed his pack of cigarettes and shook two of them out.

"Still giving gifts?" Rainey smiled when he handed her one.

"Still Christmas..." Daryl shrugged.

"That's right. Best Christmas ever."

"It is." Daryl smiled and finally felt the nicotine soothe his frazzled nerves a little.

They decided that now that Rainey was gonna stay the night, they would give the Hannibal DVD a try. After popping in the DVD, Daryl sat back down and grabbed the blanket to cover his bare feet, which were a little cold despite the fire in the fireplace. He looked over at Rainey and cleared his throat.

"Only got one... if ya come closer we can share, though." he looked at her arefully and lifted up the blanket for her.

"Sounds good. It's cold today." she smiled shyly and carefully slid closer to him. She was a little cold, too, but she never would have said anything if he hadn't offered.

Daryl smiled and covered her lap and her legs with the warm blanket. They were sitting close enough that they were touching now. They were both a little tense and stiff at first, but focusing on the TV made them relax bit by bit. Soon they dared shifting and getting more comfortable. Rainey slid down further and leaned her head against the back of the couch, which made her cheek almost touch his shoulder. Daryl carefully peeked down at the sight with a satisfied little smile, thinking that maybe establishing some casual touching here and there was the way to go for now. It couldn't hurt to get them both used to physical contact while he tried to gather up the courage to make a move.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<br>**

**Daryl knows, now he just has to man up and claim his girl. Should be fun.**

**Boom, three chapters in three days, but now Christmas and the weekend are officially over and real life awaits, so you will have to wait a couple of days for the next one. I'll try not to make it too long, but since it's a holiday week again and I only have errands to run on Mon and Tue, the wait really shouldn't be too long. **

**Love you all, thank you so much for all the amazing reviews. Do me a favor and never stop, lol. I won't stop writing in return. I'm already starting on Chapter 8 after I post this.**

**Thank you so much to:**

**DarylDixon'sLover**

**ishibby**

**goddess of the night**

**snowbird**

**Nurse jean**

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**redangel2463**

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**MamaBrew**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Daryl!" Rainey admonished him with a laugh and gently slapped Daryl's hand away when he'd snagged the third slice of pepperoni off the pizza she was making for the both of them.

On the inside Daryl was grinning. He loved when she said his name like that. He couldn't wait to hear his name on her lips in other situations.

"Keep going and we'll just have tomato sauce and cheese, and that's one hell of a boring pizza."

"I just chopped wood for an hour. I'm starving." he grumbled good-naturedly and leaned his hip against the counter, where she was working. It was their third day together in his house and they were having the time of their lives. They were preparing almost all their meals together, and when they weren't doing it together, they still kept each other company and watched the other one work. Right now Daryl watched her making pizza from scratch. They had been to the store together that morning after breakfast and had gotten everything they would need for it. Rainey loved living life with Daryl by her side. Even going out to a crowded store had only been half as bad as before with him by her side. She had mostly felt embarrassed for him, because people were seeing him with a fat cow like her, but if Daryl had been suffering from it, he hadn't let it on. He had stuck close to her, keeping a hand on the small of her back at the register, unconsciously giving her strength. Rainey had noticed throughout the past couple of days that Daryl kept touching her casually here and there and she loved it. At first she had tensed a little, not knowing what to make of it and feeling awkward about it, but after a day, she had found herself looking forward to every little touch. By now she had also started reciprocating a little. She blushed every single time, but seeing that he didn't seem to mind when she got close, helped her tremendously.

"If you stop stealing the pepperoni and I won't have to keep replacing it, then we'll be able to eat in about 25 minutes. Do you think you'll survive that?" she asked with mock-seriousness, only the mischievous twinkle in her eyes betraying her.

"Smartass." he winked with a little smile and squirmed a little when she poked him in the ribs. He loved how she blushed when she did something like that. He grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it for a moment while he pushed himself away from the counter. "Gonna get a cookie."

"No don't!" she was twisting her hand that was still in his grip, and gripped his hand back now. "Trust me. You'll want to eat the whole thing. I'm not confident about a lot of things, but I know that I make one hell of a good pizza. Don't spoil all that appetite you worked up. I promise the wait is worth it."

She was smiling so big at him, he wasn't able to do anything but bite his bottom lip and look at her. Actually, there was one other thing he was able to do... He loosened his grip on her hand, and when she followed suit, he used the opportunity to slip his fingers between hers before he tightened his grip again. He held his breath. Although he knew how she felt about him, he was waiting for her to tear her hand away, but she didn't. She blushed and quickly averted her gaze, but peeked up at him again for a second before she went back to finishing up with the pizza. She didn't let go of his hand, though. Daryl walked the two steps back to her side and helped her with his free hand.

"We make a good team." Rainey smiled quietly. As soon as the words had left her mouth she blushed an even darker shade of red, because she thought that it had been a stupid thing to say.

"Sure do." Daryl agreed with a tiny smile, making her relax again.

"Alright. Now it goes in the oven and it's only 20 minutes until you can eat." she smiled, and with regret, she pulled her hand out of his grip in order to put the pizza in the oven.

"Can't make it in the microwave, I s'ppose? Make it cook quicker?"

"You probably could, but I don't know how that would turn out. Maybe we should make an extra mini pizza next time and try the microwave thing."

"Yeah, let's do that." he smirked, loving that she was talking about the next time **they **would make a pizza.

They ate their pizza not long after that, and Daryl was happy that he'd listened to her. It really was one hell of a good pizza. At the end of their meal, there were rarely any leftovers and Daryl felt like he was about to burst. He poured himself a bitters to soothe his full belly before they relocated to the couch and had a smoke, while Daryl recovered from having eaten a bit too much.

"Alright, I'm taking a shower." he said when he felt better.

"Okay." Rainey smiled and automatically grabbed her phone when he left the room. She got more comfortable on the couch and checked her social media. She sent a couple of messages back and forth with Danni before she checked her Tumblr, looking at all the new things that were showing up on her dash. It was a force of habit, so she didn't even think twice about what popped up on her display.

Daryl came back in, as usual silent as a ninja, and he stopped short behind the couch when he caught glimpse of the images on Rainey's phone. He didn't make a habit of looking over her shoulder when she was busy with her phone, but this had been too unexpected to ignore. He didn't know what kind of app she was using, but it was highly interesting. He stepped closer to the back of the couch and even crouched down a little to get a better look, thinking Rainey for sure had to notice him by now, but no... she was highly engrossed in what was going on on her phone. She was scrolling through pictures, only that the pictures were moving, like short movies, and those short movies were clearly depicting sex acts. All kinds of sex acts, actually, and he was fascinated by it. So fascinated that he was torn between letting her look a while longer, and making his presence known.

Rainey was scrolling through her tumblr dash, looking at all the stuff one of the porn blogs she followed had posted, when she thought she felt something next to her. She turned her head to the right and got the shock of her life when she saw Daryl's face right next to hers. She screamed, then she let herself fall on her side on the couch, before she turned on all fours and pushed her face into the couch cushion, hiding it from him as best as she could. Daryl couldn't help but laugh, it was just too cute.

"Were you lookin' at porn on yer phone?" he chuckled while he walked around the couch and sat down next to where she was crouching.

"Oh God..." came the mumbled reply. She was mortified. What on Earth had possessed her to look at her dash without shielding her phone from view? She was usually so careful. She was getting too comfortable around here.

Daryl couldn't help himself. He grabbed the phone she had dropped and looked at the images once more. _Interesting... very interesting... _He assumed that Rainey was quite inexperienced, so her choice of porn was very surprising to him. "You into this stuff?" he was surprised to hear himself speak. He had only meant to think it. He was even more surprised when suddenly a video started playing, and with audio.

Rainey gasped when she heard the sounds coming from next to her. The videos usually started playing without sound, which could only mean one thing... Daryl had her phone in his hands and was looking at her tumblr. "No! Oh my God, no. Don't look. Don't look." She shot up and tried to grab her phone, but Daryl had quick reflexes and held it to the side and out of reach. She was so eager to get her phone back, that she didn't even realize that she was across his lap by now.

"Come on, let me look,... then we both watched porn on your phone." Daryl smirked good-naturedly, which made Rainey drop her head and assume her previous position. Only this time she was across his lap, with her forehead resting against his upper thigh and one of her hands very close to his crotch while she held her flaming-red cheeks. Coincidentally, her position mirrored the one Daryl was seeing in that video right now, and Rainey's embarrassed little "oh God's" mirrored the sounds coming from the phone. Daryl unconsciously put his free hand on top of Rainey's head and tried to reassure her that everything was okay while he kept watching and rubbing his thumb over her soft hair. "Hey Rain..." he coaxed gently, trying to keep himself from smirking. "I know it's embarrassing as fuck, but ain't no reason for ya to hide. Hell, everybody watches this stuff..." Daryl said, but he sure didn't mind her hiding out in his lap.

"I know that." came the muffled reply from where her mouth was buried between his legs. Rainey became aware of where exactly she was positioned, but she was too mortified to move and show her face again. Also, she was kind of comfortable in that position and she enjoyed him playing with her hair, if she was completely honest. It was soothing. "I'm sorry... I guess I feel a little too at home here."

"Stop. It's good that ya feel at home." he mumbled absently, while he kept watching the screen. "Damn." he muttered next, when the woman on screen was brought to orgasm. As soon as the video was over, he locked the screen and put the phone to the side. He was surprised that he was able to control himself enough to not get a boner right then and there, what with what he had just seen and the position Rainey was in right now. He took a deep breath to calm himself, and removed the hand on her head for a moment, to put it on the small of her back and push down gently. "Lay down."

"No. I'll crawl into the guest room now, get my things and leave the country."

"Nonsense. Come on, lay down. Get comfortable. Ain't sayin' it again."

Rainey finally shifted, pulling her legs out from under her and turning on her side, until she was in the fetal position, with her head in his lap. Daryl artfully draped the blanket around them, so that it partially covered his legs and her body, but not her head.

"Can ya turn around and look at me?" he asked with a little smile.

"Not yet." he was relieved when she was laughing. It was an embarrassed laugh, but at least she wasn't mad or otherwise upset. Just embarrassed.

"Alright. Ain't judging, ya know that. Does it help ya when I say I ain't surprised that yer a dirty bird?" he smirked teasingly, wanting to lighten the mood some more.

Rainey's head suddenly whipped around and he was able to see just how red her face had gotten. She stared at him with a suspicious look. "Dirty bird? Did you talk to Danni about me? 'Cause this is what she always calls me."

"She does? Why's that?"

Rainey paused for a moment, then she shrugged. "I think we already established that she's crazy." she mumbled and turned her head away from him again, but she did not remove it from his lap. She felt slightly awkward about having her head there, but if he wasn't complaining, then she would just try to enjoy being close to him.

"Why's she call you that? Tell me." Daryl coaxed her, trying to get to know that new side of her. "Because of that stuff?" he asked, referring to her phone.

Daryl had his hand on her shoulder now. He didn't even notice what he was doing, because he always fumbled around with something, only that this time, it was Rainey and no inanimate object. He gently massaged his thumb into her skin, unconsciously trying to relax her. He had no idea where the courage to talk about sex came from, but he figured that it might have been the bitters he'd had. There was a lot of alcohol in that stuff. Now he felt, more than he heard, Rainey inhale deeply before she spoke.

"Kind of... I read a lot. I look at a lot of things online. I'm curious about a lot of things, so I do research... I think about it a lot, probably because I don't have a sex life. I live vicariously through my dirty mind... Among our group of friends we talk about it a lot... Sex, I mean... And, you know by now that I can talk when given the opportunity, so I guess I'm outspoken about it. Not afraid to speak about certain things with them. Danni is surprisingly quiet when that topic comes up, so she always calls me the dirty bird, because I just jump right in and love giving her a red face for a change." Rainey once again let out a little embarrassed laugh.

"You definitely ain't a prude." Daryl laughed with her.

"Nope. Never been. My parents might have made a lot of mistakes, but they have always been very open about sex and nudity. Which is kind of ironic, because they raised me to be ashamed of my own body. It was like they were saying that nudity is okay, but only as long as you have the perfect body. So when I had sex with my boyfriend, I always kept my clothes on." Rainey sighed while she opened up to him.

"Doesn't sound like fun." Daryl said carefully.

"It wasn't. I've been thinking about sex from a very early age on. I always knew that I would have it pretty early, you know? But when the time came... I don't know. I didn't really want it. I just said yes because I didn't want to lose him. Sad, I know. And of course I was disappointed. Now that I'm older, I understand why, but back then, I just kept thinking 'Hm, that's it? This is not fun at all.' I loved the kissing and the making out, but as soon as he put his hand down my pants, I just froze. At 14 or 15 years, you just don't know what you're doing. You know how it works, but you just have no idea of all those things that play into having sex. I think at that age you just do it for the sake of doing it. Guys get their rocks off and girls just go along with it. I don't know how to explain it. I think back then I expected this awesome grown-up-like sex and I didn't understand that you had to be emotionally more mature, and that you had to be okay with your own body in order to enjoy it more. I was taught to be ashamed of myself, so this seriously put a damper on things right from the get go... I couldn't get over it, and with the comments of my parents always in the back of my head... I just couldn't go further than pull my pants down. So no... it wasn't fun."

"What about the other guy?"

"I didn't sleep with him, but I got undressed that time. I was embarrassed, but not nearly as much as I thought I would be. The fear in my head about being naked was much stronger than the discomfort at actually being naked. I got over that faster than I thought I would. Maybe that had to do with being more mature than at age 15. Maybe it was because by that time I had fully developed and I actually like my breasts." She laughed quietly. "I don't know. Maybe it was that determination to finally have a good experience, maybe because I had lost some weight... or a combination of all those things. By now I think I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I really like some parts and I really hate other parts. I have days when I feel okay with the way I look, and on others I don't dare looking into a mirror, let alone leaving the house... But I guess I'm not the only female to suffer from that. I keep imagining what sex might be like now, at almost 30. If I'd be able to get naked or if too much time has passed and I'd just freak out and cling to my clothes. My bullshit condition is so complex, I confuse myself a lot, Daryl. I just talked to Simone about that a couple of days ago. Usually I get overwhelmed all the time,... the littlest things set me off, but then again, when it's 'go time' with guys, for example, I'm able to just go with it and not be an anxious wreck. Still nervous and kind of shy, but not overly. You know with Dennis, I was able to do things for him, without being scared of it, but God forbid he wanted to see my belly or my boobs. Or God forbid I was supposed to talk to someone on the street and hand them a flyer for a charity event from school... I almost threw up... It's all so weird, and nobody is able to explain it to me. It's all unpredictable and I hate it. I hate that I often don't know what my head is going to do to me. I just have to take those leaps all the time. I have to be strong all the damn time..." she got tears in her eyes and her voice cracked, but at this point she didn't care about embarrassing herself in front of Daryl anymore. Nothing could be worse than him seeing what she liked to look at porn-wise. "I don't want to have to fight every minute of every day. It's exhausting. I don't want to have this urge inside of me to be perfect all the time. All I want is to be able to be weak. Just for a couple of moments. And I want that side of me to be accepted and loved. That's all I want. I want to feel small and I want to be allowed to be weak every once in a while. Maybe that's why I like looking at that stuff... Those girls are allowed to let go and be weak. They are in good hands and taken care of and protected and all those things... I don't know what I like for real, you know? Never had a partner to figure it out with during my adult years... So I don't know if I'm into this stuff, as you put it. But when I see it online,... when I read about it... I feel like... I don't know... It would be healing or something." Rainey sat up and wiped at her eyes, where tears kept leaking out and running down her face. "And now you know how fucked up in the head I really am. God, I'm pathetic. Why do I keep telling you all these things? Why are you even still around after everything you know about me? Why do you keep doing all these things for me, when there is nothing I can even do for you?" she looked at him questioningly with red-rimmed eyes.

Daryl didn't say anything, he just stared back at her for a long while, until Rainey wasn't able to stand the intense eye contact anymore. She rubbed at her eyes again and sighed deeply. She felt better after her mini-rant. Sometimes it felt good to talk about things and just let them out, even if he hadn't asked for even half the info she had given him. But unfortunately it brought back the embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid sometimes. I just start talking and can't stop until it's out... That was way TMI... "

"It wasn't... Come on... Lay back down. Relax. Come on." he gently guided her back down, quickly putting a pillow on his lap so her head would be cushioned better. He hoped that she wouldn't notice that his hand was shaking when he clasped one of hers in his grip. The other hand went back to the top of her head, lightly threading his fingertips through her hair. This time she was facing him, but she looked at a spot on his t-shirt-clad belly, instead of up at his face. She didn't quite know how to react to his gentle ministrations or about everything she had just let spill out, and she knew that she would just blush again if she would look up at him.

Having her not look directly at him was also helpful to Daryl, who was trying to get coherent words out.

"Ya make me laugh." he mumbled almost unintelligibly. "No one ever makes me laugh... I just like ya... dunno what else to tell ya." He had so much to say, but he didn't know how to say it. The words were in his head, but it was like there was some kind of barrier that tried to keep them from coming out his mouth.

"You don't have to say anything. It's alright. It was one of my mini freak-outs/rants/word vomits... whatever you wanna call it. It happens. My mind never stops... I mean, I have to take pills at night in order to make it stop so I'll be able to fall asleep... I think nonstop and sometimes it just needs to come out, like now. I'm sorry." Rainey said quietly. She was much calmer again and Daryl's fingers playing with her hair and his thumb stroking over the back of her hand were making warmth and relaxation spread through her.

"I wanna say somethin'... Just... ain't good at it." he sighed. "Told you a while ago I wouldn't judge ya, right?"

"Yeah. A couple of times now."

"You believe it?"

"I do... By now I do, even though it scares me."

"Why does it scare you?"

"I'm scared because believing and trusting you gives you the power to hurt me a lot."

"Won't never do it on purpose. Can promise ya that."

"I believe you."

"I don't know how to say it right. I told you I ain't good at this. Might sound fucking wrong, but... I want ya to be weak. With me... "he swallowed, his eyes darting around while his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, trying to find the right thing to say. Finally his eyes settled on the doorway, which led to the hall, which led to the front door, and he seemed to have found a way to express what was on his mind. "I want you to be able to come through that door at night, after a long fucked up day... I want ya to be able to crack that shell ya had to wear all day long. I want ya to be able to let go and fall apart. And I wanna be the one ta catch ya and put you back together. I wanna do that. All that shit you think about yourself... Ya ain't fat, Rain. Yer a real woman. Fucking hot... You ain't fucked up. You're interesting. You ain't makin' a fool of yourself. You're funny and real... wanna make ya believe that, too.

When he looked down at her again, he saw that she once more had tears in her eyes. Once again she sat up and rubbed at her eyes. "You say you are not good at this, but this was beautiful." she said and took a deep breath. "Daryl?"

"Wha'?"

"I want to ask you something. But I don't want to offend you. And if the answer is yes, I want you to know that it doesn't change anything."

"Just ask."

"Are you gay?"

"No." he simply stated, not surprised in the least by her question, since he had heard her voicing that assumption to Simone a couple of days earlier. His hands were shaking, but he knew that it was now or never. He still had her right hand in his, but his left hand, which had previously played with her hair, was now clasped around the back of her neck in a firm grasp. They both froze and looked at each other. Daryl looked nervous and Rainey looked utterly confused. _Just do it. Just fucking do it, _Daryl tried to push himself into taking action.

Daryl leaned in slowly, his gaze going back and forth between Rainey's wide eyes and her sensual lips. He heard her breath hitch and felt her whole body going stiff when she realized what he was about to do. "Don't do it if you're only proving a point." she begged breathlessly.

"Ain't." he breathed with a slight shake of his head.

Panic crashed through her system, thinking for a millisecond that she wouldn't be able to handle all of this. She felt afraid, dizzy and like she wanted to bolt after all, but then she felt his hot breath ghosting over her mouth shortly before his lips enveloped her bottom lip. Compared to the hand gripping her neck, his kiss was surprisingly gentle. His lips felt warm, soft and comforting. The little scratching sensation of his scruff against her smooth skin was heavenly. In that short moment Rainey felt, that he would do exactly what he had said he wanted to do. He would catch her. That's exactly what she felt like right now with Daryl kissing her and nibbling on her lower lip... Like she was falling into a safety net, which wrapped itself around her protectively, but without constricting her. She felt warm, secure and content.

Daryl pulled back slightly, exhaling shakily and waiting for Rainey to freak out and pull away, but she didn't. She was chasing his lips, until they connected again, this time with more pressure.

Rainey sighed against his mouth. The tension inside her body slowly dissipated and she melted against him, unknowingly lifting a huge weight off Daryl's shoulders with her response. When she leaned into him more and pressed her lips against his more firmly, he released her hand and used both hands to cradle her face between them. He pulled her closer and angled his head, letting his lips slant over hers and letting his tongue slide across her mouth. Rainey happily accepted his silent request and parted her lips for him. Their tongues touched, giving each other little licks and nudges that sent electricity shooting up their spines, making them both shiver. There was nothing tentative, no build-up and no teasing. Neither Daryl nor Rainey had a real concept of those finer techniques, no yet anyway. When Rainey made a sexy little noise in the back of her throat, Daryl released a low, rumbling groan, and pushed his mouth harder against hers, and his tongue deeper between her sweet lips. The kiss was hot, deep and wet. With his hands still holding her face, Daryl tilted her head back, towering over her even though they were still sitting, effectively taking charge of the kiss. It was what he knew and what he wanted. He kissed her thoroughly and gave as much as he took from her. Rainey gladly let him. She was in heaven while he explored her mouth. She clung to him, fisting the soft material of his black t-shirt in her hands to seek purchase, and kept making these involuntary little noises, which drove Daryl insane in the best way.

Soon breathing through their noses wasn't enough anymore. They pulled apart, both flushed and panting, gasping for some much needed oxygen. "Holy crap..." Rainey muttered while she rubbed her reddened cheeks and tried to gather her bearings. "They were right?" Although she had just been kissed with so much passion that it had made her toes curl, she still couldn't believe it. Daryl pulled her back to him by the back of her neck and kissed her long and hard.

"Keep trustin' me. Ain't playin' ya, you hear?" he murmured against her lips a moment later.

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, Daryl. You haven't seen nothing yet." she was near tears again. This was too good to be true. They've had good times so far, but he hadn't seen her at her worst yet, and Rainey was sure as soon as the first bad day would roll around, he would realize that he'd made a mistake.

"Remember all the things I told ya, Rain... All of 'em. I ain't a quitter, I ain't afraid of a challenge. Be brave. Keep an open mind. You want ta be weak and ya want someone to accept that side of you. That's me. I want all of ya, weak and strong. I ain't saying that I can be all ya need... we don't know that yet, but I can promise ya that I'm gon' try my hardest. I wanna give ya what ya want and need. Just need ya to let me." he rattled off between kisses he kept pressing against her lips, unable to let go now that he had her. "I know you're tired of takin' leaps, but... take this one, 'kay?"

Before she had a chance to reply, he was kissing her half-silly again, but she knew what her answer was gonna be. He had been nothing but good to her so far, and being brave where he was concerned had always paid off. She was able to feel it in the way he held her, that he really wanted her. She only hoped that she wasn't imagining it out of wishful thinking and wanting to believe him.

"Okay." she pressed out when she got the chance, making him pause and pull back.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay... I'm taking that leap." she panted and smiled, when a slow smile spread his lips. She loved seeing that. His smile was gorgeous and so infectious.

"Alright..." his grin was so cute, just as much as his behavior, when he suddenly placed this shy little peck on her lips, not able to stop smiling while he did it. It made her laugh happily. "Do me a favor?" he asked next.

"Anything."

"Let's go back to your place tomorrow and get some more stuff for ya. Yeah?" he smiled hopefully.

He was so adorable, how could she say no? She didn't even want to say no. She felt great being here with him. Especially now.

"Hell yeah." she giggled and watched him pick her phone back up.

"Awesome. Now show me where you get that porn."

She blushed and slapped his chest with a bashful laugh. "Daryl!"

Daryl just snickered. He loved when she said his name like that.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**EDITED TO SAY: I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT ENDING IT HERE! SORRY, MY SENSE OF HUMOR DIDN'T COME ACROSS RIGHT  
><strong>

**Happy New Year everyone and many, many thanks for all the well wishes for me and my little one, and of course all the wonderful reviews. Love you all to pieces. Here's to another year full of (hopefully great) writing.**

**Special thanks to:**

**JayMars**

**ishibby**

**wabi-sabi1090**

**snowbird (Wanted to let you know I've been working on a Daryl/Jarah drabble;-))**

**DarylDixon'sLover**

**goddess of the night**

**KaneCenaZombie12**

**Nurse jean**

**54hay**

**DanathaKettu**

**LethalGirlie**

**MamaBrew**

**L'ange maudit**

**redangel2463**

**mamareadstomuch2**

**lewis7**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

It was even better than he'd imagined. Laying on his couch with Rainey in his arms, cuddled up under the cozy blanket, making out with her while his DVR-ed episodes of Duck Dynasty were on in the background... It was pure bliss. Rainey was on her back and Daryl was on his side, his front pressed up against her right side. One of his arms was resting underneath the back of her neck, enabling him to pull her head closer to his and preventing her from breaking the kiss too soon, by moving his arm just a little bit. Not that she would want to break any kisses. She was just as much in heaven as Daryl was.

Over the years they had both forgotten about how good kissing felt, and now, (like most new couples) they couldn't get enough. Rainey loved how hard Daryl was pressing his mouth against hers. It felt like he was suffocating and she was his sole source of oxygen, so he held on to her for dear life. Yeah, she really liked the way he made her feel. He made her feel needed, and that's something not even her friends had been able to make her feel. Daryl's free hand was holding the left side of her face, with Rainey holding on to the wrist of that hand, because it was pretty much the only part of him she was able to reach at that point. He had her trapped, but in the best way. It was the safety net all over again.

Daryl grunted quietly when Rainey got cheeky and bit down on his bottom lip, sucking and pulling on it. When she released his lip, he placed a big and gentle kiss on her lips, before he pulled back so they could catch their breath for another moment. They both blushed when their eyes met, the whole situation still a bit new and awkward, but they laughed it off quickly. Rainey looked over at the TV for a moment while Daryl studied her. "Ya wanna try going without your meds tonight?" he suggested after a couple of minutes. She had mentioned a couple of days ago how much better she had felt in the morning without them, and Daryl would love for her to feel like that more often. "I'll light a fire and we can stay on the couch all night."

Rainey inhaled deeply when a sliver of anxiety went through her at the thought of not taking her meds on purpose. "I don't know, Daryl. Last time was an accident, but planning not to take them? That freaks me out. I might not even be able to fall asleep this time and those panic attacks are no joke. And don't get me started on the graphic dreams which cause the attacks."

"I'm here. Ya won't be alone."

"I know that. The thing is... yes, you'll be here when I wake up scared, but I'll still have the attack. It will still be very stressful and scary. I still won't be able to breathe and I'll think I'll suffocate. You get what I'm saying? I don't know what it was, maybe it was just coincidence, but you might not be able to keep me from having the dreams and attacks altogether, but that pill can."

"Maybe I am what keeps the nightmares away. Isn't that what ya called me? Human dreamcatcher?" he smiled encouragingly and made her smile.

"Yes... It is. We gotta wait and see. The fire isn't a bad idea. That always calms me, and I feel good when you're around. I'll put the pills on the table and if I fall asleep without them, then it happens, but when I start tossing and turning and can't fall asleep, then I'll take one."

"Yeah, let's do that." he agreed to her plan. "No pressure... I just thought we'd try, 'cause ya felt so good that morning."

"I did. It was great... Well, like I said, we have to wait and see." she smiled and started squirming a little and tried to stretch out her limbs a bit after having spent quite some time in the same position. Daryl discreetly moved his own hips away from where they were pressed against hers, because having her move against him was causing some strong tingles in his lower regions.

"Better get that fire going..." Daryl said after clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Want me to fix you a Sundae in the meantime?" Rainey asked while she lifted her head, so he could pull his arm out from under it.

"Shit no!" he laughed slightly. "Still fucking full from the pizza. Maybe later, but right now it looks more like I won't want that sundae until tomorrow." He got up from the couch and send her a little smile over his shoulder while he walked over to the fireplace. "But you go ahead and fix one for yourself."

"No, I'm good."

"Are you really? Ain't just sayin' it cause you'd be the only one eatin'?" he asked knowingly and felt himself confirmed when she blushed and bit her bottom lip. "Go. By now ya should know that I ain't watching what or how much ya eat."

"I know... Still takes some getting used to."

"Yeah. I figured. Practice makes perfect, right? So go ahead. Get yourself some ice-cream."

Rainey nodded and walked off into the kitchen. She had gotten used to having main meals with Daryl, but she was still a little shy about dessert or snacking between meals, especially when he wasn't having anything. But like Daryl had said, practice makes perfect. She scooped some vanilla ice-cream into a bowl, added banana slices and topped it with chocolate sauce and chopped nuts. Once she was finished she took the bowl back into the living room with her. She sat on the couch and nervously started eating, hoping the chocolate would soothe her nerves.

"Damn..." Daryl grunted quietly when he sat back down next to her. "That looks damn good."

"Want some?" she smiled and scooped up some of the sweet dessert and guided the spoon close to his mouth.

"Mhm." he nodded with a grunt and let her feed him. "That **is **good."

"Want some more?"

"Hell yeah." he nodded enthusiastically and let her feed him another spoonful. Then he plucked both, the spoon and the bowl, out of her hands and turned the tables on her. Rainey blushed when he held the spoon up to her mouth and openly watched her eat ice-cream. "It's all good, Rain. It's just me. Open up."

Rainey listened to him and let him feed her. It was a bit weird to her, the feeling of being fully accepted the way she was didn't quite sink in yet, but it got easier with every spoonful he fed her. However, she was still glad when the bowl was empty and was placed on the coffee table.

"Come here." Daryl made her lay down with her head in his lap again. He clasped her hand in his and played with her fingers, which he admired so much, and let her stare into the fire. "Where are ya?" he asked after a long, long while of silence.

"Just thinking... there was this short period of time in my life, when everything was absolutely perfect."

"When was that?"

"When I was 17 years old. That summer was the best. My parents had gotten divorced, my Dad had moved out and for this short time, my Mom seemed to be okay with it. He cheated on her, by the way. That's why they split up. I remember her laying in the bathtub, crying and smoking when she found out. She never smoked, but that day she did. Anyway. We all moved out of our house, my Dad moved out of town to live with my stepmother and her kids, and my mom and I got a new apartment downtown. We had both lost weight and we both felt great. That was the one time my mother was actually concerned about me and didn't pester me about my body. She told me to stop starving myself, because my hair started to fall out... I loved it... not the hair part, but that she actually seemed to care about my well-being for once. Guys started to notice me... Now I know they were assholes, because they only noticed me because of the nice body I had back then. It must have been about a week. A whole week of an absolutely perfect life... A whole week of feeling great."

"Then what happened?" Daryl asked quietly, but curiously.

"Then my father came to pick me up for his now bi-weekly visitation." Rainey sighed. "He was sitting in the kitchen, having a coffee with my mother when I came in. I wore this... top. It wasn't exactly a crop top, but it was a bit short, showing off a little bit of skin at the waist. He didn't say hello. He took one look at me and said that I shouldn't be wearing that, because there was fat everywhere. That people would laugh about me. Asked me if I wanted that... I didn't... so I changed. We left, and when I came back Sunday night, my mother had changed back into her old self, too. It was hell. Even more so than before."

"What a fucking asshole."

"That was when something inside of me snapped. I just kept thinking that no matter what I did, I wasn't able to make him happy. I had the perfect weight for my height and he wasn't happy, even though he had always pestered me to get to that weight. That's when I was like 'Alright, no longer torturing myself for you, then.' I started eating again after that. After having lived off of rice crackers and water only for months, of course I gained weight back quickly when I started eating normally again. Gave myself some nice..." she trailed off before she was able to say 'stretch marks'. That's something he didn't need to know. Not yet anyway. No need to draw attention to that shit.

"What?" he asked.

"Nevermind. Anyway, I was just thinking about that one perfect week, because this feels just like it." she smiled at him.

"It does?"

"Yes. Absolutely. It feels even better, because none of those mean people are around. Just you. Nobody to rain on our parade right now."

"That's right." he smiled back and squeezed her hand. "Ain't nothin' gon' fall apart this time."

"From your mouth to God's ears." Rainey laughed and squeezed his hand back.

* * *

><p>They next week was spent with lots of making out, lots of walks and lots of fun and laughs. Daryl still hadn't come clean about the fact that he'd never had a girlfriend, and that she'd actually had more sex with another person, than he'd had. That's why he didn't mind at all, that things weren't progressing. They just kept kissing a lot, their hands only roaming shoulders, backs and arms, and burying themselves in thick, dark hair. They both felt safe with that, especially Rainey, but Daryl too, because he was just as uneasy about her touching his scars as she was about him touching her and feeling all the little extra cushioning she had. Fantasies were one thing, but making them real? Daryl had no clue how to go about that. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to. Well, of course he wanted to, but he very much wanted to avoid an awkward encounter like the only time he'd had sex with a woman. Unfortunately for Daryl his lack of experience in that area made him insecure. It wasn't like taking the lead when he had tried to talk to her. He'd talked to people before, but this? He was absolutely clueless how to make his hands move towards the right areas. He had no clue what to do to her to pleasure her anyway. The porn he'd seen had never been too focused on the lady parts and he was pretty sure the girls had faked it. He had the basic knowledge that it took some work to make a woman orgasm, but what kind of work that entailed? No clue. Not yet anyway. The porn on Rainey's phone had very much focused on the lady's lower anatomy. As soon as he had a moment alone he might look at that again and look for some pointers. She had installed that stuff on his phone and had followed some of the blogs she was following upon his request. It had just been fun, he'd just wanted her to feel better about him having caught her, but now he thought that it actually might come in handy.<p>

Unfortunately for Rainey, things with Daryl were different than with the guy from the internet. She hadn't liked him like that, so showing her body to him hadn't been too big a deal. She hadn't been afraid of losing him like she had been with her first boyfriend and with Daryl now. She was deathly afraid of being more intimate with him, which was why she was so glad and happy, that he wasn't pushing her at all. He seemed perfectly content with making out only. It was fine by her. If it was up to her, they could spend years not going any further. They could just be together, kiss and then take care of their needs themselves at night. Although she had to admit that she would love to give him a hand job. The few couple of times she had gotten to do it, she had loved playing with a guy's dick, but she was scared that Daryl would want to reciprocate in some way. But her urge to do something for him grew stronger with every day. She just needed to work up the courage to put her hand on his crotch the next time they were making out. For now, they were happy, though. Rainey was happy,... until the first "bad day" at Daryl's house rolled around.

* * *

><p>It was Sunday, their last day off work. Usually they made breakfast together, so Daryl was surprised when Rainey didn't show up. When everything was finished he lightly knocked on the door to the guest room. "Rain?" he guessed that she was still sleeping, and was prepared to softly wake her up, but he was surprised when he heard her quiet response.<p>

"Yeah."

Daryl opened the door and immediately picked up on the subdued atmosphere in the room. Rainey had her back to the door and was huddled under the covers, only her dark hair sticking out. He went around the bed and was startled when he saw her red-rimmed eyes and noticed silent tears slipping out of her eyes. "What's wrong?" he knelt on the floor and supported himself on his forearms on the bed.

Rainey avoided his eyes out of shame. She knew she should have gone home last night, she should have known it would be like this, but she hadn't been able to tear herself away from this safe haven. "I can't get up." she muttered quietly with her hoarse-sounding voice.

"What is it?" Daryl wasn't quite getting what was happening yet.

"If I get up, the day starts... and once it starts, it will just fly by, just like the past week... And when this day is over... then everything is just over... We have to go back to work and we'll only see each other at night and on the weekends, and I'll miss you so much, I just know it. I won't be able to deal with it. I won't be able to deal with not being able to spend the whole day with you anymore. I'll be stuck at work with my stupid boss and I'll be moody and weepy and then he'll be able to make me cry, because I'll just be on the verge of tears already anyway... I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna give this up. I can't do it."

Daryl took a moment to think about it, then he nodded. "It's gon' be different. The first couple of days are gonna suck. For me, too. But it'll be alright. We're still gonna see each other every day. Maybe... I dunno... maybe we gotta see it like this: we go to work, just like before, but this time we got something to look forward to."

"Like a reward?" Rainey asked as she wiped fresh tears away.

Daryl smiled. "Yeah, exactly. Like a reward. We get work behind us and at night we get a reward. And at the end of the week, the weekend will be the biggest reward."

"That sounds good." Rainey smiled a little, before she thought of something else. "But I'm still gonna meet my friends, too. Guess we won't see each other every night after all. And I need to go home tonight."

"What? Why?" Daryl frowned at her.

"Because my work clothes are at my place, and my place is also closer to my place of work. It would take almost an hour from here to get there." she explained, her mood turning darker again.

_Well, fuck me..._ Daryl took another moment to think until he came up with a solution. "We're gonna spend the night at your place then."

"You don't like my place."

"Never said that." Daryl countered. "Just don't like your neighbors and their pet elephant."

"Yeah, me neither." Rainey laughed.

"Won't have to say goodbye tonight, okay?" he leaned in and kissed her gently. "Gonna come with you."

"You're amazing." Rainey murmured quietly and snaked her hand out from under the covers to stroke her fingers along his forearm.

"Nah. Just doin' what everybody else would."

"Nobody else is doing this. Just you... I'm sorry I'm being so weepy. I wish I could just stop."

"It's alright. Remember what I said. I wanna see this side of you, too. Wanna be there for you when it happens."

"You are. And you're doing an amazing job, like I said before."

"Amazing enough for you to get up and have breakfast with me? Come on. Ain't nothin' gonna end today. It'll just change a little, but it won't be too bad. We can spend all day in bed, but time's gonna fly one way or another, hm?" he tried to coax her out of bed. It was cold outside, but the sun was shining. She had told him that sunshine was a natural anti-depressant, which had him being sure that a walk outside would do her some good.

"Alright." she sighed deeply. "But only because you're so cute."

"Geez... we need ta get your eyes checked, then. Ain't cute, Rain."

"You are to me." she smiled and kissed her boyfriend before she finally sat up and got out of bed.

* * *

><p>Daryl's back was hurting the next day at work. He was tired and he missed Rainey. To make a long story short, he was majorly pissed off, and his co-workers steered clear of him after they had caught wind of the redneck's bad mood.<p>

"Oh no, you guys didn't have a fight, did you?" Danni had picked up on Daryl's tense demeanor as well.

"Nah. All good. Just spent the night at her place. Her fucking neighbors are nightmares." Daryl grunted.

"Oh yeah, they are. I've been trying for years to get her something in my building, but no such luck." Danni said before she turned her quizzical gaze on him. "But why did you spend the night at her place? I thought you guys were staying at your house?"

"We were, but Rain wanted to be closer to work."

"Oh... right. So during the workweek you stay at hers and on the weekends you stay at your place from now on?"

"Hell naaww... Ain't gonna stay another night at her place. Neither should she." Daryl scoffed. Her couch clearly wasn't meant to be slept on. He'd moved to the floor around 3 am and now his back was all fucked up.

"Looks like you have some things to figure out." Danni said with a little smile before they went back to work.

"I'll say." Daryl sighed and left the office. They had things to work out for sure. He seriously wouldn't stay another night at her place. It was too uncomfortable, too restless and too loud. He couldn't do it and he knew that Rainey felt better at his place anyway. He wanted her to come home to him at night, like he had said. He wanted her to come through his door and shed that tense shell she's wearing all day, and let him hold her and make her feel better again. He didn't want to go back and forth between their places all the time. He'd gotten himself that house for a reason. He actually wanted to live in it, and not just on the weekends. The problem was that Rainey didn't want to spend close to two hours of driving to and from work every day, and he understood, but if they didn't spend their evenings, nights and mornings together... That would plain suck. He was spoiled by now. He would do a lot for Rainey, but using his dream house on the weekends only? No. That he really couldn't do. They would have to find a solution to that little problem, and he kept wracking his brain all afternoon, unaware of the fact that fate would once again give them a little push in the right direction.

* * *

><p>After work Daryl drove over to Rainey's to meet up with her, like they had agreed to in the morning. He would go home before bedtime, if she was feeling well enough to be alone, but he hoped he would be able to convince her to come with him. He was more than a little surprised when not Rainey, but Simone opened the door for him. "What's wrong?" he asked as his heartbeat immediately picked up some speed at the thought that something might be up with Rainey.<p>

"Crisis." Simone sighed and stepped aside to let him in. "Hi, by the way. We never officially met. I'm Simone."

"I know. Rain showed me pictures." Daryl grunted, not bothering with pleasantries when he had other things on his mind. He walked into the living room where Rainey sat, looking defeated and tired. "What's the crisis?" he asked before he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, thankfully not seeing Simone's happy grin when she witnessed it or he would have turned fire-engine red.

"Oh, nothing... just that I'm going to be out of a job in two weeks." she told him.

"Wha'?"

"Yeah. We all got called into a meeting this morning. The owners of the company were there and told us that the company isn't doing so hot and that they would have to let people go. I was one of the last hires, so now I am one of the firsts to get laid off."

Daryl did his thing and took a moment to let the news sink in, then he nodded. "Alright. That's good news and bad news all in one. At least ya won't have to put up with that boss of yours no more."

"It's a disaster, Daryl." Rainey mumbled from where she had her face buried in her hands. "I was barely able to talk to you. Do you know how bad I am at job interviews? I clam up and sound like a retard. I can't sell myself. It was a miracle that I got this job to begin with. I can't do it again. Getting rejected over and over again, it's gonna amp up my depression and I'll have to move in with my father or something and that's only gonna make everything worse."

"Rainey, calm down. It's not that bad this time. You're getting a severance package and you qualify for unemployment money and that gives you six months to find another job. You'll just have to cut down on spending. Maybe it's time to stop smoking now... Maybe sell your car?" Simone tried to offer some suggestions.

"Awesome." Rainey scoffed. "Just gonna put a bullet in my head and end it right now, before I-"

"**HEY**!" Daryl interrupted her sharply, making both women jump. "I oughta slap yer ass silly for even thinking crap like that!" he spat angrily and looked at her sternly.

Rainey exhaled shakily and nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just... picturing all the crap I have to go through in order to find a new job... It's fucking overwhelming. I don't wanna talk to strangers and sell myself. I'm horrible at that. I just don't wanna do it and start all over again. It makes me so tired just thinking about it."

"It's not the end of the world, Rain." Daryl gently rubbed her back, now that he had calmed down again. "It's gonna be alright. You'll find something, and we'll have your back. Right?!" he looked at Simone.

"Exactly." the blonde woman smiled. She had been a bit taken aback at Daryl's short outburst, but it was obvious to her that he cared deeply for her best friend. It was good to finally see that in person. "I'll ask around at the lab. Maybe the office has an open position, and I'll ask some of my colleagues if they know of anyone who's hiring. It will be fine, Rainey. I know it's overwhelming, but unfortunately it is something that has to be done. We'll support you and we will help you through it. You're not alone, sweetie."

"She's right. Ya ain't got nothin' to worry about." Daryl agreed.

When Rainey was calmer again, Simone left and Daryl set out to convince his girl to come back home with him. "Hey... two weeks, that's like 9 days of work left."

"I know... why?" Rainey looked at him questioningly.

"Ya think that it would be okay for you to spend some more time on the road during those 9 days?" he asked her, watching a smirk appear on her lips.

"I knew it. You hate my apartment." she laughed quietly.

"Yeah, alright. I admit it. My back's all fucked up and those fuckers upstairs didn't let us fall asleep until 1 am. You're all tense the whole time and I feel like a fucking time bomb with all that noise. Come back with me. Yeah?"

"Yeah, fine." she smiled, not seeing a sense in arguing. 9 days of getting up half an hour earlier would be manageable.

* * *

><p>"You smell fantastic." she murmured against his neck. Daryl had taken a shower while she had gotten dinner started. Now he had joined her in the kitchen and they were embracing while the pasta was cooking. Rainey nuzzled her nose against his fragrant skin and inhaled deeply. "Mmmmm... it should be illegal. It's so good."<p>

Daryl shuddered when he felt Rainey's lips press a kiss against his pulse point. This was the first time she had kissed him somewhere else other than his lips. This was the first time **anyone **had ever done that and Daryl was surprised how good it felt to have his neck kissed. "Maybe that's just the food." he sounded slightly out of breath.

"Nope. Definitely you." she grinned and kissed his neck again. Another pleasurable shudder went through him and Daryl buried his hand in her hair and kept her face pressed to his neck a moment longer, before he pulled her head back and roughly captured her lips with his. He plundered her mouth and stroked her tongue with his, while Rainey moaned in surprise at his sudden intensity. He was leaning into her more and more, making her back up until she hit the fridge. When his knuckles came in contact with the cool metal, he withdrew his hand from her hair and took hold of her shoulders for a moment, exerting firm pressure and pulling her chest against his own. Soon his hands rubbed up and down her back as their kisses grew more feverish. When Rainey sucked on his tongue, Daryl growled and without even realizing that he was doing it, he let his hands slip further south until he was squeezing her full ass in his hands. Only when he dragged her closer to his crotch and heard her moan a little differently than usual did he become aware of where his hands were. He froze for a moment and pulled his lips from her to catch his breath. Rainey was smiling and didn't seem to mind having his hands on her butt, so he kept them there while he tried to gather his bearings. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but that neck kissing thing, as innocent as it had been, it was also quite a turn on. "You know... " Rainey panted slightly. "If your back is fucked up... I could give you a back rub. Make up for that awful night?"

Daryl stiffened and slowly disentangled himself from her. "I'm good." he replied curtly.

"What's wrong?" Rainey noticed that something wasn't right all of a sudden. She checked on the pasta, but kept throwing glances at him over her shoulder.

Daryl sighed deeply. He knew there wasn't much sense in keeping it from her, but he hadn't expected to have to talk about it today. "There's somethin' I didn't tell ya about."

"Oh... okay..."

"Got somethin' on my back." he mumbled around chewing his bottom lip.

"Okay... And that's why you don't want a back rub?"

"Yeah."

"Would it hurt you... or...?" Rainey wasn't exactly sure what he meant. Maybe he had a medical thing there?

"Nah... it's just all messed up. Got some scars, you know? Ain't pretty."

"I'm not pretty either and yet you like seeing me." Rainey reminded him, making him scoff.

"Don't like ya talking like that, Rain, and ya know it." he admonished her softly.

"So those scars... They don't hurt you? You just don't want me to see them? Touch them?"

"Right."

"Hm... You know what? That's okay." she smiled at him.

"What? How do you mean that's okay?" He was puzzled by her suddenly upbeat demeanor.

"The way I see it, I'm not gonna be the only one clinging to my clothes." she smiled. "This time it would be a mutual thing. You don't want to get undressed and I don't want to get undressed."

"Ain't gonna fuck you with our clothes on." Daryl mumbled darkly, making Rainey laugh out loud in surprise, because it was the first time he had ever mentioned wanting to have sex with her. It flattered and scared her at the same time. It was a mix of surprised and nervous laughter.

"Do you see a way around that?" Rainey laughed. "Well, maybe we should just stand across from each other in the living room, get naked and just let the other look and get it over with. Put it all out there in the open and let each other know what the deal is." she joked while she rinsed the pasta and heaped some onto their plates.

"Yeah, maybe that's what we should do. Get all the bullshit worries out of the way." Daryl agreed quietly.

"Yeah right!" Rainey laughed, still thinking they were joking around... Until she saw Daryl's expression. "Wait... I was joking... Daryl... You're serious?!"

"Dead serious." he told her, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Oh God."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**Ugh, this chapter has been a nightmare to write. I re-wrote it a couple of times, but it never turned out the way I wanted it to. I'm sorry if it's not up to par. I know where I want them to end up, but somehow it's more difficult to get there than I thought it would be.**

**Happy New Year everybody!**

**Special thanks to my awesome, awesome reviewers:**

**DarylDixon'sLover**

**wabi-sabi1090**

**goddess of the night**

**snowbird**

**KaneCenaZombie12**

**redangel2463**

**ishibby**

**mamareadstomuch2**

**DanathaKettu**

**Shadowsammy**

**RebelWhoIsInFactNotARebel**

**Guest**

**An Amber Pen**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"This is insane." Rainey laughed incredulously. "Are we really doing this?"

"Might be kinda insane, yeah... but I think it's good for us. Might convince ya right off the bat that I ain't turned off by you. Might help you get over some of those fears ya have."

"You mean it might take away the awkwardness when we get closer physically?"

"Yeah. That too. Won't hurt."

"I wish we would have done this before we had dinner." Rainey smiled nervously while she tapped her fingers against her thighs in a fast rhythm.

"Won't change nothing, Rain. Promise." Daryl tried to reassure her, but he was just as nervous as she was. He wasn't necessarily shy about his body, but standing in a fully-lit room, stripped bare of everything, showing each other the naked truth (quite literally) and making themselves utterly vulnerable, was a very big thing. Daryl had never put himself out there like that, but he wanted to this time, because he truly felt it was the right thing to do in this case... That it would make things easier in the future. Rainey had put herself out there like that once and had gotten hurt and ridiculed for her bravery, so it was understandable that she was so nervous that she was shaking. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and kissed her gently. "Ain't too late to change your mind." he told her, but Rainey shook her head.

"I'm not changing my mind. It does feel right, but that doesn't make it any less nerve-wracking." she said with a nervous smile on her face.

"Right." Daryl agreed before he took two steps back.

Now they stood in front of the couch in the living room. In front of each other, just like Rainey had joked earlier. Rainey was wearing her black, fluffy bathrobe with nothing underneath. Daryl wasn't the bathrobe kind of guy, so he was wearing his black boxer briefs with an equally black t-shirt. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Oh God, this is gonna be so weird." Rainey laughed.

"Shit." Daryl pinched the bridge of his nose with a chuckle before he looked back up. "Alright, here goes nothin'." he removed his t-shirt, while Rainey opened the sash of her bathrobe, her breath already hitching when she took in his well-built torso. Daryl hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxer briefs and paused. "Ready?" Rainey nodded and grabbed both sides of her robe in her hands. Daryl took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright, on three. One, two... three." With that he pushed his underwear down and Rainey let the robe slip off her naked body, both holding their breath.

Daryl's attention was immediately focused on Rainey's bare breasts. Full, supple and round, topped with pale-pink, delicious-looking nipples. Her breasts would definitely overflow his hands, but they weren't overly large. They sure looked like they would be nice and bouncy during the act, and that thought made him unconsciously lick his lips. His gaze traveled lower, taking in the beautiful hourglass shape of her womanly curves. She already looked good with clothes on, but naked those curves were even more amazing and beautiful, because she was no longer able to hide them with the help of fashion. He had no idea why she called herself fat or why other people did. Her belly was soft, but not flabby. Pale stretch marks adorned the skin left and right of her belly button, almost looking like they were carefully cradling it. Cradling it, like she wanted to be cradled. It put a little smile on his face and made warmth spread through his body. He wasn't able to explain it, but if he would be forced to, he would say that seeing that stretch marks, which she probably hated, filled him with affection for his woman. There were no other words for it. He couldn't explain why he felt like that, he just did.

His loving gaze dropped even further down and was drawn to the triangle that was framed by her shapely, thick thighs. No hair, just more soft, creamy skin. He wasn't a big fan of no hair, but he was on board with everything she felt comfortable with. It was her body, her choice, and she was absolutely beautiful in his eyes nonetheless. Daryl had secretly sent a quick prayer to the Heavens that someone up there would be kind enough to keep him from getting an erection when he saw her naked now, but he didn't have to worry about that. She was naked and gorgeous, but this had nothing to do with sex. This was simply two people opening up to each other and sharing who they were with each other. It was an amazing experience (Daryl would even go as far as saying that he was a bit overwhelmed in a positive way), but it was not sexual. It was happiness-inducing.

Rainey's face, meanwhile, was as red as a tomato when she noticed Daryl's eyes land on her breasts. Yeah, she liked her breasts, but having someone openly look at them was a hard thing to endure at first. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly for a moment and took a deep breath to calm herself. It was time to get over her shame and look at him, like he was looking at her. She opened her eyes again and let her eyes roam along his beautifully broad shoulders. He had gorgeous skin, smooth, tanned and fresh-looking. She had to smile a little herself when she noticed the cute freckles that adorned his shoulders. They evoked an urge to kiss them. She looked at his chest with the Norman-tattoo (for his grandfather, as he'd told her once), the tiny nipples and the smattering of chest hair. She was glad that he didn't have too much of it. She had no problem with pubic hair, but she had never been big on too hairy chests. He was perfect. His tummy was flat and toned, but without a six-pack, which she liked a lot. She followed the V-shape of his hipbones and blushed even harder when she looked at his penis. It looked well-proportioned with a good size. He was not circumcised and that immediately brought back some stuff she had read over the years, about how uncircumcised men were more sensitive than men with a cut penis. She stifled a grin when she thought about how much fun she might have playing with him. She was curious to find out if it would indeed be different than with the two circumcised guys she had been with. His balls weren't too big, about a nice handful, she guessed and she couldn't wait to thread her fingers through his thick, dark thatch of pubic hair. Even at just 14 years of age she had loved just putting her hand there and idly playing with the hair or with her boyfriends balls while they had watched TV. Just like Daryl, she liked keeping her hands occupied. Maybe that was a smoker's habit, to always have something in your hand or mouth? She wasn't sure, but she was sure looking forward to the time ahead when she would get to do that.

Daryl blushed a little himself when he noticed Rainey checking out his package. It was calming that she seemed to like it, though, if he judged her expression correctly. She was biting her lower lip around a little smile, and he figured that wasn't too bad. He let her look for a good while before he cleared his throat. "Gonna turn around now." his voice sounded softer than usual, younger and much more vulnerable.

"Oh, right. Almost forgot." Rainey's cheeks were still a dark crimson, but she was way more relaxed than just a couple of minutes ago. She smiled what she hoped was an encouraging smile and watched him slowly turned around. She noticed the clenched fists and the tension in his shoulders before she noticed the scars on his back. From the way he had acted, she had expected something much, much worse. Not that this wasn't bad enough, but she had pictured something else entirely inside her mind. "What happened?" she asked quietly in a neutral tone of voice.

"My old man... he had a whip and a wicked belt... and he loved his booze. Hated his life, though and took it out on us."

"They don't hurt at all?"

"Not no more."

"So when I'll touch them, I won't hurt you?"

"No."

"Good. That's a relief." she murmured while her eyes took in the big tattoo on the right side of his shoulder and back, which she hadn't seen before. "I didn't know you had another tattoo. It looks great on you."

Daryl relaxed when he heard the smile in her voice. He was glad that she had switched her attention over to the demons. "Yeah? You like it? All my tattoos are pretty dumb I guess. Was always drunk when I got 'em."

"I like them. They suit you. And no, I'm not saying you're dumb. You're amazing. Through and through. Inside and out." she smiled quietly. Daryl peeked at her over his shoulder and gave her a little smile.

"You too."

"Nah..." Rainey waved him off with an embarrassed smile. "So, I guess we can get dressed again, huh?"

"What's the point?" Daryl smirked while he turned around to face her again "Seen it all now..." his eyes quickly roamed her curves again.

"True, but I think it's weird to just sit naked on a leather couch and watch TV." she said laughingly.

"Yeah, might have a point there. Don't need my balls to the leather." Daryl chuckled while he bent over to pull his underwear back up.

"Oh my God." Rainey laughed out loud and blushed anew at the comment and the image that popped up in her head. She quickly snatched her robe up from the floor and covered herself again as well. While she fastened the sash around her waist Daryl walked up to her and when she was done, he pulled her into his arms. He held her tight, downright clung to her, while Rainey slowly and carefully put her arms around him and placed her hands on his back. "Is this okay?" she whispered while he nuzzled her nose with his.

"Mhm." he nodded vigorously, almost smashing his forehead against hers.

Rainey slowly moved her hands a little, just gently stroking the firm skin of his tense back. She kissed him, hoping it was as loving as she intended, but because she wasn't sure it was enough to get her message across, she whispered it against his lips. "You're beautiful. You're absolutely gorgeous, and I have no idea why a wonderful man like you would even look at me twice." her voice was shaky, she wasn't used to voicing thoughts like that. No loving words like that had ever been spoken in her family. She had been taught that it was something to be ashamed of, so saying it to Daryl wasn't easy, but she thought if she was able to show herself naked in front of him, she should be able to bare her mind and soul to him as well. She smiled when she felt and heard him exhale harshly and relax a little, some tension draining out of him along with the air from his lungs.

"You're beautiful, ya hear? Ya look like a real, fucking woman, alright? Ain't got nothin' to be ashamed of. Not a single thing. You look like one of 'em greek statues down at the museum. Tall 'n curvy 'n fucking... feminine..." he blushed inexplicably at saying the word out loud. Probably because Merle would laugh his ass off at him and call him a pussy again at hearing Daryl talk like that. He'd thought of her as feminine before, but thinking it and saying it out loud were two very different things.

"Daryl..." Rainey giggled bashfully and affectionately scratched her nails across his shoulder blades gently, making him shudder.

Daryl smiled and hugged her tighter around the shoulders. One of his hands slid into her hair at the back of her head, pulling a little to tilt her head back, making her face tilt up in the process. He kissed her slowly and deeply. Their tongues stroked and swirled around each other languidly while they were locked in their tight embrace. They kept hugging and kissing for a long while, sharing little smiles in between. It felt like they were basking in some sort of afterglow and neither one of them wanted to burst that intimate, happiness-filled little bubble they were in right now.

"I'm getting cold feet." Rainey laughed eventually.

"Me, too." Daryl smiled and kissed her one last time before he released her and grabbed his t-shirt. "Better put on some more clothes again. Still fucking cold."

"It's January." Rainey shrugged. "I'll be right back."

"Yeah, me too." They each went into their rooms and put on socks and some sweats, and in Rainey's case, a sweatshirt as well.

They curled up on the couch, Daryl sitting sideways in his corner with his legs up on the couch. Rainey was resting between his spread legs, sideways in a half-sitting position, her head resting against his upper chest. Daryl played with her hair, making her shudder and giggle every minute or so. "Like that?"

"I love it." She smiled up at him.

"How you feelin'? After what we did...?" he asked next, wanting to make sure she was really okay.

"Weird." she laughed. "But in a good way. It was embarrassing at first, but after a minute it was fine. How about you?"

"Same."

"I think it was a good thing for us. I know I meant it as a joke, but it was good that you didn't laugh it off. I think it might have been the best thing for us. I feel better. More relaxed doing this." She waved her hand around them. "That you still want to do it after you saw everything. That you still kissed me the same way as before... it really helped me."

"Good. That's what I wanted. Helped me, too. With the scars... Now it's out in the open, ya know? Nothing to get nervous about no more. It was good." he murmured quietly, almost sleepily as he was feeling completely content and relaxed in that moment.

"It was." she agreed and snuggled her head back against his chest.

"What about the job thing?"

"Ugh, don't remind me... The only good thing is that I am no longer scared to go to work. He can be as mean to me as he wants, I know I'll be out of there in two weeks, you know? So I can just let it bounce off of me. But the whole job search thing? That scares the living daylights out of me. I don't want to think about it right now."

"Alright... Ya know... you gotta develop some righteous anger. Don't let them walk all over you. If they're wrong, you can tell them. It's alright to get angry and show it. Maybe the next two weeks you can start learning how to do that. Ain't got to be scared of your boss anymore. You can tell him what's what when he's an ass to you. You're laid off already."

"I know. I do get angry, but... I can't let it out. I can't be bitchy or mean. I can't stand people being mad at me. I literally can't stand it. You know, I once talked back to my father. I was 23 already, so he didn't do anything, but even though he didn't even say anything, do you know what happened? I broke down crying, because I felt so bad about being mean to him."

"Oh come on. He was an ass to you all your life. I'm sure he deserved it."

"He did, but I still felt bad. I'm just not that person. It happened, but every time it did, I was shaking and crying after and apologized profusely. I just can't let it out. It doesn't make me feel good at all."

"Maybe ya don't need to yell or be a bitch about it, but maybe you can find a way to just say it when ya ain't happy about something. That's something I gotta learn, too. You don't get angry and I get **too **angry too quickly."

"Really?" Rainey frowned at him. "I haven't seen that yet."

"Like earlier, when ya said that crap about offing yourself... but that was nothing yet... Hasn't happened in a while, I guess, not since Merle died, but I just flip out sometimes when I get mad. Gotta learn to tone that down."

"Like I said, I haven't seen that yet, so maybe you already have."

"Don't think so. But you... Just try it, Rain. Take a deep breath and just say what ya wanna say. What better time to start than during your last days of work? Maybe you can start right now..." Daryl cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Now?"

"Yeah... there's something else I haven't told ya."

Rainey stiffened and inhaled sharply. "Please don't say this was just a bet after all..."

"No! No..." he told her quickly. "This is real. I promise... I, uh... I... You know how I asked about your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Ya never really asked 'bout any girlfriends of mine. Not specifically, so I just never said anything."

"Said what?"

Daryl averted his gaze and shrugged. "That I ain't never had one before."

"You never had a girlfriend?"

Daryl shook his head.

"Oh so... you were more into One-Night-Stands?"

"Nah. I tried once, but... nah. That's the other thing I ain't never told you... "

"What?" Rainey was very confused and even though she was actually pretty smart, she had a hard time putting the pieces Daryl was giving her together.

"I... uh." He stopped again and chewed on his lip for a moment. "Ain't never fucked but once." he suddenly said in a rush. It took a moment for Rainey to get what he was saying, but when the coin finally dropped, she was more than a little surprised.

"Oh... you only had sex once? Really? Like, all your life?"

"Yeah." Daryl grunted with red cheeks.

"But you're so amazing. I imagined you must have fought girls off with sticks left and right."

"You're crazy." Daryl shook his head with a little smile. "Wasn't like that. There were some who were interested, but I never was. Like I said, tried that One-Night-Stand thing once, but that was awkward as shit."

"That was your first time?"

"Yeah."

"How was it? Apart from awkward as shit?"

"Just... dunno. Was like you. Didn't take my clothes off. Didn't really touch her. Didn't know what to do... you know, to her..." he looked at her shyly, glad that his long bangs were hiding his eyes for the most part. "Still don't." he admitted with great embarrassment.

"Neither did the guys I've been with." Rainey told him with a gentle smile. Part of her was relieved. He was practically a virgin and it was utterly adorable in a way. He was sex on legs, but he had no experience. It was cute and it really made her feel better and even more at ease around him. They would be in the same boat and while that might turn out to make for some awkward experiences, it was also great that they would be able to start out together at almost the same level. Rainey actually felt a little strengthened by his admission. She knew how to do some things and that would in the end make her a little bit more confident.

"They didn't?" Daryl was surprised and he had to admit, it made him feel a bit better about himself.

"No." Rainey smiled and kissed him on the lips. "Don't worry. Everybody starts out at one point. I guess the good thing is that we are able to start out together."

"Ain't really startin' out together. You've done stuff before."

"I have, that's true. But not too much. And I was very young, remember? There's a lot I've never done."

"But ya read up on stuff over the years. You know all these things... You watched those things online... Even if ya haven't done too much, you **know **more about it than I do."

"That doesn't matter, though, does it? All either one of us can do is trial and error. But I think it's the same for every new couple, no matter how many times they've had sex with other partners. Things might just run more smoothly because they have more experience. We might have a bit of a bumpy road ahead of us." Rainey laughed a little.

"Awesome." Daryl sighed miserably.

"No, don't be discouraged." Rainey smiled and rubbed her hand over his chest. "From what I've read it's supposed to be fun to learn together." She blushed suddenly, piquing Daryl's interest when he noticed.

"What?"

"One thing we can do... Once we get there... is showing each other what we like..." she cleared her throat and held her flaming cheeks for a moment. The thought of telling him or even showing him where and how to touch her was anxiety-inducing, but they had already pushed through some of their fears and it had paid off, so that might be another thing to try.

"Yeah, sounds right." Daryl swallowed hard. "Alright. I need a smoke." he suddenly changed the topic, but Rainey didn't mind. They had talked about everything that had needed to be talked about.

"Same here." she agreed and accepted the cigarette he was handing her a moment later. "Just tell me one thing." she said after the first drag.

"Why did you think I would be mad about you not being more experienced?"

"Wasn't about that. Thought ya might be mad because I never told you."

"Well, like you said, I never asked." Rainey shrugged, and with that, the topic was done with.

* * *

><p>"Mmmm..." Rainey moaned into Daryl's mouth when his tongue teased hers while they kissed good-night a little later.<p>

Daryl grinned into the kiss and pressed her a little harder against the doorway, trying to get his fix of her before they went to bed. "Sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow morning." he breathed once he broke the passionate kiss.

"No you won't. I have to leave at 6.45 and you won't have to leave before 8.30 am. You just get your sleep, mister."

"Fine. Don't forget your keys." Daryl told her.

"Wouldn't matter if I did. I'll be here around the same time as you." Their work hours were different. Rainey worked from 8am to 5pm, and Daryl worked from 9am to 6pm. Rainey needed an hour to get to work though, while Daryl only needed 20 minutes. That's why she had to leave so early and why she would be back almost at the same time as him.

"Still... take the key. Don't need you standing out in the cold and waiting for 20 minutes."

"Wouldn't kill me."

"Would kill me."

"You're so sweet." she giggled and kissed him again.

"Why don't ya just stay here?" he asked when they came up for air again.

"I am staying here."

"I mean give up your crappy apartment and stay here permanently."

"Oh..." Rainey swallowed hard.

"That don't sound like a yes."

"Because it isn't." Rainey sighed. "I don't know, Daryl."

"Why not? You're here all the time anyway. You got your own room, and ya need to save some money as long as you're out of a job. Why keep that place around? Ya don't like it yourself."

"That's all true, but I can't give it up."

"Again, why not?"

"It's way too soon for me to move in for real."

"For real? What's the difference? There ain't none, except for saving money."

"I know you are right. I know that, but as you know, I like my safety nets. Staying here with you is wonderful, but I want that safety net just in case. I've been trying to find a new place to live for a long, long time. I told you about that. If that apartment is gone, it's gone, and knowing my luck, things here are gonna start falling apart and I'll have to beg my Dad for a place to stay after all. No, I wanna keep the apartment. I wanna be prepared for everything. It's like people say, if you are prepared, the bad stuff you're preparing for is not happening, so... just let me be prepared, alright? I'm not ready to let go of that safety of still having my own place... my autonomy."

"You got your own place here. Your own room. We're standing in to doorway right now." Daryl had a hard time accepting her answer. He just wanted her here all the time.

"I know. But it's yours, really. In your house. It's too soon, Daryl. Let's not rush it, please. Let's give each other some time so see what's gonna happen."

Daryl was a little disappointed by what she was saying, but at the same time the corners of his mouth turned up a little bit. "You're disagreeing with me and ya ain't afraid to tell me."

"It's not the same..." she said, referring to her inability to show anger.

"No?"

"No." she laughed and kissed him. "No breakthrough there, sorry."

"Alright. Guess we had enough for one day anyway. Gotta pace ourselves. Better turn in now, huh?"

"Yeah." she smiled, and after about twenty more good-night kisses, she finally went into her room and climbed into the bed, while Daryl went to his own bedroom and laid down.

_Maybe it ain't time to "officially" move in together, but maybe it's time to share a bed, _he thought while he stared at the ceiling and missed having her warmth curled up against him. _Seen each other naked... sharing a bed ain't nothing compared to that. That reminds me... _He wasn't too tired yet and being alone in his bed was a good time to do some research. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and opened his new Tumblr-App. It was time for him to look at some porn on his phone and study himself some lady parts.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**Soooo, there it was. The naked truth. How'd you like it?**

**Thank you very much for all the follows and favorites and reviews and all the lovely, lovely support from all the tumblr-peeps. Love you.**

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	11. Chapter 11

**AN: This first scene really happened. One of the things that still haunt me to this day. I hope by writing it down and sharing I will be able to put it to rest.**

**Also, I wanna say to the guest reviewer, that my anxiety is very, very real and that I was still able to do what Rainey did last chapter, so please don't tell me that my (her) anxiety isn't real. Everybody has problems with different things. Some things we are able to overcome easier than others. Me, personally, I'd rather get naked in front of my partner, than make a phone call to the department of water & power. No kidding.**

**Now, enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11<p>

Days went by and soon Rainey only had three more days of work left to get behind her. On one hand she was happy to never have to return to those offices, but on the other hand there was the dreaded job search and application process. She had already sent some applications out, but hadn't heard back yet. She probably never would. One look at her resume, which unfortunately included year long breaks due to illness, and her application got tossed in the trash. This job she had only landed with the help of a Vocational Rehabilitation Program after her latest breakdown a couple of years ago. This time she had to do it on her own, without a fancy program by her side, but at least she had the support of her friends and boyfriend. Boyfriend... she hated that word. They were adults and using that word seemed silly.

"Miss Behr!"

Rainey jumped and almost dropped her glass in the sink when the loud, authoritative voice of her boss sounded from behind her. "Yes, Sir?" her heart immediately started racing and she felt the anxiety bloom up quickly, like every time her boss was talking to her.

"I would appreciate it if you would actually do your job for once and stop prolonging your break well into the afternoon in order to hang out in the kitchen all the time." he told her with his standard look that told her that he was better than her.

Rainey was about to apologize, but then she realized what he had said. She was shaking, but she took a deep breath and clenched her fists so hard that her fingernails were digging painfully into her palms while she prepared to speak. "I just rinsed out my glass." she said, hating that her voice was wavering. She took another breath and heard Daryl's voice in her head, telling her to be brave and start learning to let out her anger. "Sir, I would appreciate if you would stop talking down to me like that. I am always doing my job and I never prolonged my break. I can count the times I actually took my break on one hand." her voice still wasn't nearly as firm as she would have liked and her knees felt like they were about to give out, but at least she had spoken her mind for once. _Please walk away, please walk away, please walk away. _She begged silently for this uncomfortable scene to be over quickly, because she was about to crumble, but of course she had no such luck.

Her boss' eyebrows rose in surprise. He was not used to Rainey doing anything other than blushing and mumbling a flustered apology while she scurried back to her office. "If you don't appreciate the way I am talking to you, then maybe you should just go home and not come back anymore."

_Oh God... _Rainey dug her nails even deeper into her palm while she struggled to hold on to her strength. "I will fulfill my duties for as long as I am needed, which, according to the notice I received, is until Friday."

"You were never needed. That mental patient program pushed you on us, and if I were you I would watch my tone. We can still fire you and you can kiss your severance package goodbye." he told her with the hint of a smug smile.

Rainey had enough. She had held out for as long as possible, but this was all she was able to take for now. She grabbed her clean glass and took a step in the direction of her office. "Yes, Sir." she murmured and walked around him in order to leave the kitchen.

"Oh and word of advice?" Apparently her boss wasn't finished with her yet. Rainey squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and took another deep breath.

"Yes?"

"You might want to upgrade your wardrobe. Just because this company is handling trash doesn't mean that you have to look the part."

He had dealt a deathblow and he knew it when Rainey changed direction and walked straight towards the bathroom. Her chin and bottom lip were already quivering and she quickly closed and locked the bathroom door behind her and slapped her hand over her mouth to quiet her sobs. She felt ugly, fat and horrible. Like trash, like her boss had so nicely implied. On top of that she had failed to be strong. Daryl would be so disappointed. She didn't want to go back out there, but the bad thing was, that she had to. It took her a while to calm down. She heard the phone ringing in her office through the wall nonstop and she knew she would get in even bigger trouble if she didn't go back to her desk very soon. One look in the mirror told her that her make-up was ruined and she tried to salvage as much as possible with the help of toilet paper and water. She had an anxiety attack, but this time she wasn't allowed to space out. She needed to do her job for a couple more hours, so she took a deep breath, unlocked the door and went back to her office.

* * *

><p>By the time she was back at Daryl's at night, she was mentally and physically exhausted. She was happy when she heard Daryl come home about half an hour after her arrival, but she still had to force a smile.<p>

"Hey." he smiled and gave her a kiss hello.

"Hi." Even her voice sounded tired. Daryl pulled back a little and really looked at her. She was pale, her eyes looked puffy and tired and the air around her was, once again, subdued.

"Something happen?"

"Same old, same old." she shrugged.

"Yeah, but ya usually don't look like this. What happened?"

"Guess my plan to let the things my boss says bounce right off of me didn't quite work." she muttered while she kept cutting up carrots. She was making a chicken noodle soup. It was still cold and after today she needed comfort food, so her grandma's chicken soup it was.

Daryl felt anger rising up from the depth of his belly. He just couldn't imagine what that damn prick's deal was and why he was hating on Rainey so hard. She wouldn't hurt a fly and she was disciplined and dutiful at work out of fear alone that she would mess up and get into trouble. "What did he say?"

"That he would appreciate it if I would do my job for once instead of prolonging my breaks all the time and hang out in the kitchen... I was just rinsing out my glass, because a fly was in there. It's ridiculous. Do you know how often I actually took a break during the time I worked there? And I told him that. I remembered what you said and I told him that I don't like him talking to me like that and that I barely ever take a break."

"You did?" A proud smile appeared on his face. "That's good."

"Yeah." Rainey sighed. "But then he said that I should just stay home if I don't appreciate the way he talks to me. I told him that I would come back and do my job for as long as I am required to." she explained and Daryl's smile grew. He was proud that she had taken a step forward and had stood up for herself for once. His proud expression made her feel horrible, because she knew that he would be disappointed in her within a minute. "Then he said that I should watch my tone, because he could still fire me and I would no longer get my severance package. And that was the end of my little rebellion. I wasn't able to take more or say more. I just wanted out of that situation so I nodded and went to go back to my office."

"You tried though. And you did it. You spoke up. It was a good start." he was still smiling at her and gently kissed her temple. "I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"Yeah." he studied her again and noticed that she still seemed down. He wasn't sure if her little rebellion, as she had called it, had taken that much out of her or if maybe something else was the matter. "You should be proud of yourself, Rain. You did a good thing. Why are ya so sad?"

Rainey didn't say anything while she kept cutting her vegetables.

"Rain. He say something else?"

He took the deep breath she exhaled as a yes.

"Before I was able to go back to my office, he said that I should upgrade my wardrobe, because even though we deal with trash, we don't have to look the part." she said quietly.

Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing. The anger he had felt a couple of minutes earlier quickly turned into rage. "He called ya trash?"

"Basically, yeah."

Daryl's lips pressed into a grim line. He started chewing on his bottom lip and pacing the room at the same time. His fists clenching and unclenching rapidly while he did it. He looked like a angry, caged animal. Rainey watched him, not knowing what to do. She hadn't seen him this angry before.

"What's his name?" Daryl's voice had taken on a dangerous tone, and while it might have appealed to her in another situation, right now it scared her.

"It doesn't matter, Daryl."

"The hell it doesn't. He ain't gon' get away with this. It's enough." Daryl started yelling, and Rainey finally understood what he had meant when he had told her that he sometimes just flips out. Daryl was steaming mad. He just wanted to find the guy and hurt him. A lot. "So what's his fucking name?" In his rage he didn't realize that he was yelling at her and that it was something he probably shouldn't do.

Rainey took several steps back until she backed up into a counter. She wasn't able to deal well with yelling, especially not if someone was yelling at her. Of course she immediately believed that he was disappointed in her after all and that this was her punishment for letting him down. It had been a long time since someone had yelled at her and she had absolutely no idea how to react. Her mind went blank, she felt helpless and like she had no control over the situation and her body reacted... with a panic attack. She couldn't breathe and started hyperventilating, desperately trying to get air into her lungs. Her extremities started to tingle and she felt dizzy as Daryl's voice got drowned out by the sound of her rapid heartbeat and the rushing in her ears.

It took a moment for Daryl to realize what was happening, but when he did, he started feeling a bit panicked himself. He had never seen anything like this happening and it was scary to witness, especially since it was happening to his girl. He tried to remember what he had read about what to do in order to help her. He kept himself from touching her, because he knew that for some people it made the attack worse. He wasn't sure if she was one of them, but just in case he kept his hands by his sides. "Okay... okay... shit... Rainey, it's alright. You're gonna be okay. Shhhh, calm down, girl. Deep breaths, ya gotta take deep breaths. Slow and deep, alright? It's all good." He tried calming her down, but he didn't feel like he was doing a very good job. It seemed like an eternity to him before her breathing started to slow down again. He hadn't even realized that they had both slid to the floor by now. Even as her breathing got back to normal, Rainey still seemed to stare right through him and it took another eternity until her eyes finally focused again. "Rain? You with me again?"

She nodded and rubbed her face with cold and clammy fingers. She inhaled and exhaled deeply before she spoke up again. "I tried. I'm sorry."

"What?" Daryl was confused by her statement.

"I should have tried harder. I'm sorry I let you down."

"Let me down? You didn't. What in the world are you talking about?"

"Standing up to him. I shou-"

"Nah, stop right there. Shit, Rain. You think I'm mad at **you**? No. Fuck. See? I told you 'bout this. I flip my shit... I wasn't mad at you, girl. I'm fucking mad at him. I didn't mean to yell at you. Was meant for him. I'm sorry." he felt like shit when he realized that he had caused this just now.

"It's okay."

"It ain't." he sighed regretfully. "You... you scared of me now?" He asked carefully. That would be one of his worst nightmares.

"No. I just felt like the whole situation was slipping away from me... I just need a moment. Or an hour." she rubbed her face again and shivered. She was suddenly very tired and very cold, like every time after a panic attack.

"Alright. Hold on." Before she realized what he was doing, Daryl was lifting her into his arms and carrying her bridal style out of the kitchen.

"No! Nonononononono what are you doing? Let me down, are you crazy? You're gonna break your back!" Rainey was fearing for Daryl's health, but at the same time she was completely in awe of this man. He was honest to God carrying her. He had picked her up from the floor and was carrying her. Like it was nothing. She felt stupid. Back when she had first seen him in the bar she had thought that he would never be able to make her feel small and delicate, because he wasn't overly tall and because he was so thin and lean. He looked strong, because of his muscled arms, but this strong? She never would have thought he would be able to do this, but here he was. Yep, she was definitely in awe and the butterflies in her stomach were doing all kinds of crazy things.

"I ain't gon' break, Rain. Been dragging whole deers though the woods all my life. This is nothing." Well, he was fibbing a little. His arms were straining and he was a bit out of breath, but it wasn't too bad. Sure, she wasn't as light as a feather, but she wasn't an elephant, as she liked to call herself, neither. He wouldn't be able to carry her through the woods for miles, but around the house was manageable. He carefully set her down on the couch and covered her legs with the blanket that always hung over the back of the couch. "Now, you just take your moment or hour or whatever you need, and I'll finish making dinner."

"You're... wow... Yeah, you're simply wow."

"Nonsense." he waved her off.

"You are. You just need to finish chopping the carrots and the leek and throw them into the broth a-"

"I got it." he cut her off with a kiss.

"Thank you." she smiled and watched him leave after he had handed her the remotes for the TV. He really was unbelievable. Yeah, his outburst had startled her and she would need a moment to get over it, but no, she wasn't scared of him. One outburst didn't erase all the sweetness and affection he usually showered her with. It was actually nice to see that he wasn't as perfect as she had started to assume he was. The panic attack hadn't really been about him yelling. It had been about the situation in general. It had been about the helplessness she had felt when she hadn't known what to do to calm him down. Feeling helpless had triggered this. It did most of the time. She didn't have too many panic attacks. Mostly they had occurred at night, when she had been sleeping and therefore helpless. The pills were keeping that from happening thankfully. During the day she only had anxiety attacks and rarely any panic attacks, because for all the anxiety she had and all the hardships she was facing because of it, she rarely ever felt helpless. She had learned early on to have back-up plans. It's why her mind never shut down, because she obsessed over every little thing and each and every consequence and she had plans for most of them. It didn't always work out though, and that's when she got an attack. That or when she got caught by surprise, like it had happened in the kitchen. She wasn't good at thinking on her feet. She liked to be well-prepared in advance.

* * *

><p>"You gotta report him. File a complaint or something." Daryl wasn't able to let the topic rest.<p>

"Won't help anything, Daryl. It's only two more days to get through and even if it wasn't, it truly wouldn't help anything. It's a small company, so not only is he manager, he is also the whole Human Resources department. If I file a complaint, I would have to file it with him. You see where I'm going with this?"

"Talk to the owners then. Protect others from that prick."

"I don't have to. I'm the only one he's doing it to. He only hires women like Anna and Simone. Short, slim, killer bodies... I'm the only one he kind of 'had to' hire. I don't fit his usual hiring scheme, so I was the one to feel his wrath."

"Good thing you're out of there by the weekend. Fucking asshole."

"I know. Don't get upset. It's not worth it anymore." she squeezed his hand gently.

"Oh yeah? You got upset alright. He made ya cry for fuck's sake. Don't tell me not to get upset if ya can't follow the same advice." he was starting to get pumped up again.

"Sorry. Can we **please **forget about it. Just let me get those two days behind me and we'll never have to think about him again." she looked at him imploringly with her dark eyes.

Daryl sighed, but nodded. "Alright. Whatever ya want."

"Thank you... I wish I could just work from home. There are office jobs where you can use a home office, but they are really hard to come by."

"Does it have to be an office job? Can't ya answer phones? Like a hotline or something. Ya know, these headset-wearing kinda jobs?" Daryl tried to explain what he meant, making Rainey laugh in the process.

"Headset-wearing kinda job? You are seriously the best." she grinned and kissed him soundly. "But no. I'm not good talking to strangers, remember? I hate answering the phone at work already. Only answering phones would be a nightmare. Especially if I have to deal with complaints. I'd feel like not the company, but like **I **personally failed them. Very stressful."

"Hm, what else is there you can do at home?" he tried to come up with something else. "Maybe write a book?"

"Write a book? What the hell would I write about? Nope. What else you got?" she was curious what else he would think of.

"Some other typing shit?"

"Don't know. Once again, I don't think I have enough interesting things to say to be a professional blogger. Uh, maybe I should do a fashion blog for plus size clothes. I like fashion."

"And that makes money?"

"Yeah. You can put links on your blog to shops who sell the outfit you write about and every order that shop gets through your blog, you get money."

"Maybe you should look into that. Might keep you a bit above water while you look for something that pays better."

"Might not hurt, yeah. It won't be enough to live of off, but yeah... might be a start." she agreed. She definitely had the time in the coming weeks, because just like predicted, her applications had all been rejected so far.

"How about babysittin'?" he suggested next.

"Oh God no!" Rainey laughed.

"Why not?"

"I can't stand kids."

"What?" Daryl was mildly shocked to hear a woman say that. He thought every woman was crazy about kids.

"Don't look so shocked. I don't hate them. They are cute and all, but also loud and annoying. As you know, I don't like noisy and stressful. Also, I'm really not good with them." She elaborated.

"Don't wanna be a mother one day, then?"

"Not really, no. I mean, look at how I grew up. I don't have great examples to follow. I'd totally mess that kid up just like my parents messed me up."

"Or you'd do the opposite."

"Who knows. What about you? You want kids?"

He shrugged. "Never thought much about it. Never thought it would ever be a possibility. I guess if it happens it's fine and if it doesn't happen it's fine, too, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah. I get it." she said while a big yawn escaped her. It was near bedtime already. "Oh hey, hand me the notepad please?"

Daryl grabbed it and handed it to her. He looked over her shoulder and watched her add flour and white chocolate to their shopping list. "White chocolate? That mean I get cupcakes on the weekend?" he grinned happily.

"You know it. I wanna celebrate a little. Which means I'm going to spend a lot of time in the kitchen and you will need a lot of bitters for your stomach." she laughed.

"Kinda awesome that cooking and baking is your way of celebratin' stuff." Daryl chuckled.

"Right? Don't know why, but it just fills me with joy to prepare something nice. Now it's even better because I get to treat you with it." she was beaming at him, just from thinking about getting to cook and bake for him all weekend and enjoy the happy look on his face while he ate.

Daryl looked at her with narrowed eyes, but with a little smile gracing his lips. She was just about to ask what the matter was, when he spoke up. "I got an idea. Why don't ya sell your cupcakes? They are fucking awesome. I bet people would pay good money for it. If ya do that blog thing, maybe you can put pictures up and offer your cupcakes, too. Might be worth a try."

"But what if someone orders like 50 cupcakes or something? Or 100? Like for a party?"

"Then ya make a 100 cupcakes. You got a kitchen and you got the time. And you just said it's fun for you. What if that fun can bring in some cash?" Daryl asked her and put the notepad back on the end table.

"It sounds like a good idea. But why would people order cupcakes from me, if they don't know if they are any good?"

"I can vouch for that." Daryl said like it was the most logical thing in the world. Rainey laughed and grabbed his face and kissed him over and over. He was just so cute.

* * *

><p>Friday morning Rainey's car wouldn't start, so much to her dismay she had to wake Daryl up and ask him for a ride to work. He forewent a shower and just jumped into his clothes and grabbed his keys and wallet. He wouldn't have time to come back home before he would have to be at work. Rainey apologized over and over, because she had disrupted his morning routine, but Daryl just waved her off with a smile, telling her that it wasn't her fault that her car wasn't starting, and that he would grab breakfast on the way back. When they pulled into the small parking lot in front of the office building she worked in, Daryl felt Rainey stiffen noticeably. He frowned and tried to make out what she was looking at. He followed her gaze to a car that was parked right next to the entrance. A very tall, sandy blond-haired man with a grim expression on his face was getting out of the expensive Mercedes Benz and walked into the building. Daryl was sure that he knew exactly who that was. "That's him. Ain't it?" he stated. "Maybe I should go say good morning."<p>

"No, Daryl! It's the last day. I can do it. No need to stir up anything. Please." Rainey begged him while she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Already looks like a fucking arrogant asshole."

"I know. I gotta go. Anna's boyfriend is picking me up after work and taking me back to your place. I'll see you tonight." Rainey told him. She had texted with Anna and her boyfriend Julian had offered to go since he was off work today. They kissed goodbye and Rainey hurried into the building.

Daryl didn't leave right away. He couldn't. He just had to do something. He got out of the car and got a screwdriver out of the toolbox in the back. He casually strolled up to her boss's car and made sure nobody was around or looking, while he quickly jammed the screwdriver into the two tires on the passenger side, giving him a nice pair of flats. He twirled the screwdriver between his fingers with a satisfied smile on his face and walked back to his car in good spirits. Now he had been able to avenge Rainey at least a little bit.

* * *

><p>Daryl was treated like a king when he came home on Friday night. Rainey had gotten off work hours before him, and as soon as she had arrived home, she had walked straight into the kitchen and had started cooking and baking. Daryl came home to delicious smells, the sounds of Rainey working in the kitchen, accompanied by the sounds of some Classic Rock tune, and an all around happy house. His first thought was that he could most definitely get used to that.<p>

When he entered the kitchen, his heart skipped a beat when Rainey sent him a smile so big that it made him melt like butter in the Georgia summer sun. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen her smile that big and happily before. It was another thing he could most definitely get used to.

"Hey, there you are." she put her hands on both sides of his neck and kissed him sweetly, unable to stop smiling while she did it.

"Hey." Daryl was a bit speechless. Seeing her like this made his heart and stomach do funny things. In that moment he decided that it would be his personal mission from now on, to do everything in his power to make her this happy every day. It truly was a sight to see.

"You like red wine, right?" she asked with a smile while she turned back to her task of putting the finishing touches on the salad.

"Yeah."

"Good. I got you some to go with all of this when I was shopping yesterday. Dinner is about to be ready. Why don't you go and put on something with an elastic waistband and sit down at the table? I'll finish up with the salad in the meantime."

"Alright." Daryl kissed her cheek, then he went to his bedroom and changed out of his jeans and flannel, keeping on the t-shirt and throwing on some sweatpants. Then he padded into the living room and the dining area and took his seat at the table. She had already set it beautifully with blood red napkins and a vase with roses in a matching color. There were no candles, though. Rainey hated candle-lit dinners. She preferred clearly seeing what was on her plate. But she had dimmed the lights a little to make the atmosphere more comfortable. In the next one and a half hours she served her three courses of delicious homemade food, and Daryl feasted on arugula salad with mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes and pine nuts, lasagna, and something called tiramisu for dessert. It was easily one of the best things he'd ever had. There was also a batch of cupcakes in the kitchen for whenever he felt peckish during the weekend.

He was so stuffed, he fell asleep on the couch right after dinner. This time it was Rainey's turn to cover him with the blanket before she cleared the table and tidied up the kitchen as quietly as possible. She sighed with contentment when she slipped into her pajama pants and a loose-fitting t-shirt after everything was done. She grabbed her phone and sat on the sofa, careful not to disturb him, and exchanged messages with her girlfriends and played some Candy Crush in between.

Daryl woke back up around 11 pm and stretched with a content smile on his face. "I'm sorry. How long was I out?" he asked with his raspy voice.

"About two and a half hours. Don't worry about it. You look so cute when you're sleeping." she grinned.

Daryl paused and looked at the phone in her hands with suspicion. "Ya didn't take a picture, did ya?"

"Awwww..." Rainey pouted. "I didn't even think about doing that. Damn."

"Good." Daryl laughed and stretched out some more before made a come hither motion with his fingers. "Come here."

Rainey squeezed herself between the back of the couch and Daryl's body, ending up firmly pressed into his side, with one leg curled over his. He caught her lips with his and coaxed them open by teasing his tongue along the seam. He licked at her, making a small moan bubble up in the back of her throat. He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue play with hers until they both erupted into goosebumps and their breathing turned into panting as their hands started roaming.

After the day they had bared it all, they had slowly worked towards being more confident during their make-out-sessions. Hands had tentatively slipped underneath fabric, gently stroking previously unexplored skin, getting a feel for the physical differences between men and woman, and getting a feel for each other. Their inexperience had shown majorly during the first few times. Their touches had been clumsy, a bit awkward and very tentative, but with every passing day, they had started to get the hang of it. Getting touched by the other had always taken some getting used to. During the first three times, Rainey had sucked in her stomach reflexively when Daryl's hand had wandered there, but since she had been able to feel his erection pressed up against her through their clothes while he touched her, she had soon relaxed and had learned that Daryl liked her body, complete with stretch marks and extra cushioning. He'd seen her naked almost two weeks ago and he was still here and kept wanting more and more of her. That certainly had boosted her confidence and had pushed a lot of her fears and anxieties about being with a man again to the back of her mind.

Rainey's hand slid under Daryl's t-shirt, up to her new favorite spot. While she had never been fond of chest hair, she loved twirling her fingers around in the small patch of hair Daryl had. She let her fingers play there for a little while, before she rubbed the flat of her palm all over his strong chest, brushing over his small nipples and making him slightly buck his hips up.

"Bedroom?" Daryl breathed after breaking the kiss for a short moment.

"Bedroom." Rainey nodded and disentangled herself from his embrace. They preferred having more space to move around for their explorations than the couch had to offer.

Daryl shed his t-shirt the moment they were inside his bedroom. He was sure that Rainey would have pulled it off of him within minutes anyway and this saved them the trouble of stopping the couple of seconds to remove it. He grabbed the hem of Rainey's shirt next while he kissed her neck, and quickly rid her of it, too. He groaned quietly when he looked down over her shoulder and saw her supple breasts encased in emerald lace. He shuffled closer to her, pressing his front to her back, and slid his hands up her sides and to the front, cupping her full boobs in his strong hands and squeezing possessively. He pulled her back against him harder at the same time, and Rainey turned her head up so they could kiss. He massaged her soft globes while their tongues massaged each other, the action was now something like second nature. The first time he had caressed her breasts, it had taken him over an hour to work up the courage to let his hands glide up higher and higher, only brushing his fingertips against the underside first, before they had slowly crept up further. When he had noticed that she enjoyed his touches, the insecurities had slowly started melting away and curiosity had bubbled up to replace it.

Soon his hands left her breasts and his palms traced her curves by rubbing along her sides, down to her hips and back up to her stomach where he crossed his arms and simply hugged her from behind for a bit. "Thanks for tonight. Was real awesome."

"You're welcome. You deserve to come home to a good meal. You work hard."

"That was no meal. That was a damn feast, Rain."

"Like I said, you deserve it." she smiled and turned around in his embrace, and slowly pulled him back towards the bed. Within the next minute they were back to being entangled and kissing. It grew more heated quickly, the feel of warm, naked skin underneath their fingertips spurring them on. Daryl loved sliding his hands up her back and grab her shoulders in order to pull her body flush against his and squish her boobs against his own chest. He loved feeling her softness and how different her skin felt from his own. That's why his hands quickly found their way back to her cleavage where he proceeded to rub, grope and squeeze without abandon in order to get his fix of her.

While Daryl was busy with his new favorite toys, he didn't pick up on Rainey's slight nervousness. He also didn't pick up on the fact that her hand didn't stop right above his waistband this time. Not until he felt her touch in a place he had never felt it before. His breath hitched in his chest when she rubbed her hand across his clothed erection. His mild shock made him break their kiss. Rainey stopped her hand from moving, and she just gently cupped him in her palm while she looked at him carefully. "O-okay?"

"Ya don't have to."

"I want to." she smiled and blushed, her voice going quieter when she made her next admission. "Been wanting to for a while."

"Really?" his eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes."

"Okay." he swallowed hard and looked her in the eyes for a moment, before he quickly slammed his lips back down on hers. His kisses turned feverish when Rainey traced his length with her hand, rubbing gently, making him grow even harder. The feeling was exquisite, he couldn't imagine it getting better, but it did. Rainey carefully freed his turgid penis from it's confines and wrapped her beautiful, warm hand around it. An involuntary groan was ripped from his throat when she tightened her grip and slowly stroked him up and down. He couldn't believe how much better than his own hand it felt. He groaned again when she started twisting her hand a little while she stroked him. Her touch was still a bit tentative and experimental, but it was so damn good. He'd never felt someone else's touch on his dick before and now that he had, he was instantly addicted.

Rainey had done this numerous times in the past, she knew she would be able to make him cum like this. It wasn't too different from giving a circumcised guy a handjob. He just seemed to get a lot more pleasurable friction due to the foreskin slipping back and forth over the tip. Her nervousness forgotten, Rainey started getting into it again and having fun. She loved Daryl's harsh breathing and the little noises he was making in the back of his throat. They were both laying on their sides, facing each other, so the angle was a bit awkward, but she shifted slightly in order to be able to use both of her hands. She released him to free up her right hand, but gripped him with her left instead. She used her right hand to slip into his sweats, where his balls were still hidden. She giggled quietly against his lips when she felt his dick jump in her hand when she cupped the soft sac and gently rolled it in her palm. Her left hand kept up a slow, but steady rhythm, but on the next downward stroke she pulled back his foreskin all the way and slowly slid the pad of her thumb across the swollen, moist tip.

"Aaaaaawww ffffuuuuck!" Daryl tore his lips away from her and cursed loudly under labored breath as his whole body jerked hard. Pre-cum leaked out of his cock and Rainey spread it all around with her thumb and massaged it into the incredibly soft skin. His response had her pressing her legs together hard. It had made moisture pool out of her like never before as her whole core throbbed with lust.

Daryl had a hard time catching his breath. He had masturbated a lot in his life, but he had never felt pleasure quite intense like this. He was barely able to take it, it was too much and he needed to get off. Now. He was breathing frantically, no longer able to kiss her without suffocating, when he put his hand on top of hers, urging her to move it again.

"Please." his rough, pleasure-filled voice was arousing her to no end, just as much as his response to her ministrations. Daryl moved their hands in quick, short strokes, showing her what he liked and needed, without even thinking twice about it. When she had gotten the hang of it, he removed his hand and dug his fingers into her shoulders while he pressed the side of his face into his pillow, releasing low grunts in time with her strokes. When the sounds he was making grew more high-pitched, Rainey took it as a sign that he was close and sped up the pace of her movements.

"Yes!" Daryl grunted, making her grin proudly, but she quickly focused all her attention on him again. His body was starting to lock up and his grip on her shoulder grew near painful, which in turn, made her lady parts tingle with excitement. His grunts grew louder and more strained just before he went completely still for a couple of seconds, and then, with a short, hoarse shout, he erupted all over her hand and stomach. Rainey couldn't help but smile happily. It had been even better and more fun that she had imagined. That increased sensitivity would be awesome. Now she could barely wait to touch her tongue to his tip and see his reaction then.

She kept stroking him slowly until Daryl clamped his hand down on her wrist when he grew too sensitive. His eyes were still closed and he was still breathing erratically, but the rest of his body seemed to be completely drained and limp. "Good Lord." he murmured, making her giggle again. She didn't ask if it was good. She hated that question and it had obviously been good enough to make him cum, so she refrained from asking. She left his side for a moment to grab the box of tissues and clean herself up, and Daryl took the opportunity to tuck himself back in and roll on his back.

"It bad that I want a smoke now?" he asked and actually blushed inexplicably when she looked him in the eyes for the first time after his orgasm.

"Not at all." she laughed. "You want a cupcake to go with that?" she smiled knowingly.

"Hell yeah." he grinned, and quickly got over his short bout of embarrassment.

"Be right back." she smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his lips before she got off the bed, put her shirt back on and went to get their cigarettes and the cupcake for him.

Daryl stared at the ceiling while she was gone, still a little dazed from his release. Suddenly a small laugh bubbled up inside of him. "Shit..." he grinned and raked a hand through his wild mess of hair. It was the best day ever and he most certainly could get used to feeling crazy happy like this every day.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**First bit of smutty goodness! Thoughts?**

**Thank you to everyone who is taking part in my life (or my past to be precise) through this story. It is encouraging, inspiring and motivating to see your response to this. **

**Special thanks to the lovely reviewers.**

**MamaBrew**

**DarylDixon'sLover**

**goddess of the night**

**Shadowsammy**

**KaneCenaZombie12**

**DanathaKettu**

**Nurse jean**

**snowbird**

**Guest**

**pestilence85**

**redangel2463**

**wabi-sabi1090**

**WhisperedLove11**

**jeanf**

**KairiAnneYukari21**

**mamareadstomuch2**


	12. Chapter 12

**You know I like to keep things realistic, right?! So this might not be what you had hoped for/expected. Don't hit me.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 12<p>

The next afternoon it was time for Daryl to chop some wood for the fireplace again. It was a particularly cold winter which caused them to use up the wood pretty quickly. When he came back in from the cold, a big mug with hot chocolate and a freshly baked, still warm waffle topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles was waiting for him. He shook his head with a smile when he noticed the plate and the mug sitting on the coffee table. _My woman really makes me feel like a damn king. _He turned around when he felt her come in and smiled while he watched her carefully balancing her own mug, trying not to spill the hot liquid inside.

"There you are. You better wash up quick, I was a little too fast with putting the whipped cream on the waffle. It's melting and making the waffle all soggy." She smiled apologetically. Daryl just chuckled and took the mug out of her hands to set it on the table. Next he cradled her face and placed a big kiss on her lips.

"Don't ya worry 'bout nothing. Whipped cream melting into the waffle? That's just win-win, girl." he gave her a little wink and her ass a little squeeze before he went to wash up.

Rainey felt dizzy with happiness. Somehow he always said the exact right thing. She took her seat on the couch and grabbed a magazine she had gotten for herself a couple of days earlier. She looked up and shared a smile with Daryl when he came back in. With a serene little smile gracing her lips she watched him dig into the waffle with gusto before she turned her attention back to the pages of the magazine.

"You already eat yours?" Daryl asked with his mouth full while he watched her read her magazine.

"No. I only made one for you. I'm not hungry."

"You only made one waffle? For me? Made batter and got the waffle iron out, and all just for one waffle for me?"

His incredulous tone made her laugh. "Yes, Daryl. I know that I get about five waffles out of my usual amount of batter, so I divided the ingredients by five and mixed it up in a small bowl and tada, there's your waffle. The only thing I wasn't able to divide was an egg, so there's still a whole one in there. Does it taste okay?"

"Tastes awesome." Daryl grunted.

"Good." she smiled and kept reading.

Daryl enjoyed his little afternoon snack, chewing slowly while he studied her. "You know... ya ain't gotta wait on me all the time... Ya know that, right?"

"I do know, and maybe that makes me wanna do it even more. I enjoy doing it."

"Why?"

"You mean apart from the fact that you absolutely deserve it?" she asked, and when he nodded she narrowed her eyes in concentration while she tried to find the right words. "All my life I've been striving for perfection. I longed for appreciation from the people I loved. I never got it, or at least I never felt like I got it, but that changed. Now there's you. Doing these things for you, baking and cooking for you, pampering you and seeing how happy it makes you... It makes me feel like I am finally succeeding at something and that makes me feel closer to perfection. It fulfills me. Making you happy and pleasing you,... pleasuring you...It **really **fulfills me. I can honestly say that. It makes me happy, too." her smile was so big and genuine while she said it, Daryl had no doubt that she was speaking the truth. He had no idea what to say to that. He was in awe. His happiness had never mattered to anyone before. To have her say that his happiness fulfilled her... It was overwhelming. At the same time he knew what she was talking about. Her happiness made him happy as well. Seeing her this relaxed and in good spirits was making him all gooey inside.

"Alright." he acknowledged her explanation.

"Alright." she chuckled and went back to reading an article in her magazine.

* * *

><p>A couple of nights later Rainey left Daryl alone for a while, because it was Simone's birthday and the girls wanted to hang out. Instead of staying at home and waiting around for her and be bored out of his mind, Daryl decided to go to the bar. He hadn't been there since Christmas. Hadn't needed to, because Rainey was fulfilling all his needs for companionship now. Still, he thought while she was gone, it would be nice to go back and have a beer and see what some guys he knew had been up to.<p>

He didn't stay there long. Every couple of minutes his eyes had automatically drifted over to the table by the door, fully expecting Rainey to sit there with her girlfriends, like she had used to a couple of times, only to be disappointed when he realized that his girl wasn't there. After just one beer he left and went home again. He grabbed the leftover meatloaf from dinner the night before and a big bowl of chocolate pudding from the fridge and ate straight out of the dishes until they were empty and he felt about to burst again. Instead of falling asleep on the couch like the night before, he went and laid down on his bed. He was sure Rainey would wake him once she was back and join him for a little while before she went to sleep.

However, when he woke up around 1 am, he realized that Rainey had not bothered to wake him up. Or was she not back yet? He decided to investigate.

* * *

><p>The humming noise of her vibrating bullet toy was slightly muted by the thin fabric of her panties and sleep shorts, as well as the covers. Rainey was biting her lip, but the sound of her harsh breathing still escaped. She had tried to be as quiet as humanly possible, but Daryl was sleeping and by now she was so close to orgasm, that she was no longer able to worry about being heard. Rainey squeezed her left breast and nipple harder, while she pressed the small toy harder against her clit. She reached that heavenly state right before all that delicious tension snapped and her body came undone. Almost there... her pelvis started quaking and a moan escaped her and she already felt the little sob of relief come up her throat, but then a sudden and sharp knock on the door put a brutal stop to the pleasurable sensations.<p>

"Rain?!"

She yelped and froze in shock. She stared at the door, wide-eyed and panting, not knowing what to do.

"Rain!"

With horror she realized that the door wasn't locked and like in slow-motion, she saw the doorknob starting to move.

_Shit! Was I that loud? Oh no, no, no, no, no! _She quickly shut off the toy and yanked it out of her pants, quickly shoving it under the pillow, just when the door opened and revealed a sleepy Daryl. "Hey..." he rasped, squinting a bit against the light of the lamp on her nightstand.

"Hey. What are you doing up?" she was still panting and hoped his sleepy state wouldn't let him notice.

Daryl frowned. Something was off. He thought his ears had picked up on erratic breathing and he had been worried that she was having an attack. She was out of breath and flushed, but her eyes were shiny, she was smiling and her hair was disheveled. The atmosphere in the room didn't seem panicked at all, which confused him. Something was going on, but he wasn't able to put his finger on it. It irked him. "Not sayin' hello no more when ya come home?" his frustration made it come out more gruff than he'd intended.

"Oh, umm... I only came back an hour ago and I didn't want to wake you. You have work in the morning." she raked a hand through her messy hair and tried catching her breath. She was squirming a little, because the her whole center was consumed by unfulfilled desire. Her pulse was hammering uncomfortably in her lower regions.

Daryl nodded and chewed on his lip while he studied her with narrowed eyes. "You alright?" he started to walk over to the bed. "Thought ya had one of 'em attacks."

She blushed. _So he __**did **__hear something. _"No... I'm good... just... umm... what are you doing up? Can't sleep?"

"Fell asleep early. Thought you were gon' wake me up when ya came back." He knelt on the bed before he sat down next to her. "How was the party?"

"It was good. It was kind of a surprise party. For us." Rainey laughed.

"What?"

"She surprised us with some news. She's pregnant."

"Mhm." Daryl acknowledged with a grunt. He didn't know what to say to that.

"We're very happy for them. They've been trying for three years. They really want one, so it's amazing that it finally worked. She got so sad every time we saw a baby or something like that came up."

"That's good then."

"It is. How was your night?"

"Nothing interesting." he said and then finally leaned over in order to press his lips to hers.

Rainey sighed and put her hand to his cheek as she kissed him back passionately. Daryl was surprised by the intensity and urgency he felt coming from her. She was sucking on his tongue and biting his bottom lip before she pulled away with eyes so dark, Daryl thought they might have been completely black in that moment. "You should go back to sleep. You have work in the morning." she breathed and once more raked her hand through her thick, dark hair.

"Nuh-uh." Daryl shook his head and shifted. He wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her down into a horizontal position. Rainey giggled and shifted a bit until she was comfortable, while Daryl laid down half on top of her and kissed her until her toes curled. He kissed her like it was going out of style tomorrow, his tongue probing, stroking and teasing, pushing his lips against hers harder and harder, until his ears picked up a weird noise. "What's that?" he lifted his head, not noticing Rainey's panicked expression while he strained his ears. His gaze drifted back to hers when he realized where the noise was coming from. He got a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw the look on her face. "Move."

"No, Daryl, don't..." she tried to stop him, but he had already yanked the pillow up and was looking at her vibrating sex toy with an unreadable expression.

Rainey blushed furiously and quickly shut it off and stuffed it into a drawer before she sat up and hid her face in her hands. Daryl still knelt on the bed, next to her, and looked at the now empty spot on the mattress. Now everything made sense. That was what had been off. She really hadn't had a panic attack. She had rubbed one out.

His fists clenched when the blood in his veins got infused with a dose of pure anger.

_That's why she didn't wake me up. She was horny, but she don't think I'm the man for the job. She needs ta cum, but she thinks I can't make her. _The thought that Rainey didn't think he would be able to make her feel just as good as she had made him feel was making him sad and pissing him off at the same time. What infuriated him the most was, that she was very probably right. It made him feel inadequate and not good enough for her. Naturally, he didn't like feeling like that one bit. "That how it's gon' be?"

"What?" Rainey looked up with her red face and a confused expression marring her features.

"Every time ya got an itch, ya sneak in here to take care of it yourself? Ain't even gon' let me try? Thought we'd learn together...? Changed yer mind, huh?"

"No, I didn't. Daryl... what... I don't understand. Hold on." she needed a moment to gather her thoughts. She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. Having Daryl mad at her was unbearable and she knew she would have the worst night if they didn't talk this through, even though it was embarrassing as hell. "Are you really mad because I... did **that**? Watching porn on my phone was okay, but this isn't?"

He didn't give her a direct answer. "Why didn't ya wake me when ya came home?"

"Because it's Thursday,... well Friday now, and it was midnight, you were asleep and you have work today. You need your sleep. That's why I didn't wake you up."

"Really? That's all it was?" he didn't sound completely convinced.

"Yes!" Rainey was getting exasperated. She didn't understand why he was so bent out of shape over her not waking him up. He hadn't said anything about it before she had left, so who was she to assume that waking him up in the middle of the night would be okay?

"But if ya wanted to... ya know... why didn't ya come to me?"

Rainey took a deep breath. The conversation was getting annoying. She hated being doubted. Her parents had done that all her life. She was doing it more then enough herself, so she didn't want Daryl doing it, too. "And again... you were sleeping. Also, we never really... You never went there and I don't want you to feel obligated or pressure you or anything. I did it to you because I was ready and wanted to. I don't want you to do it to me until you are ready to and really want to do it. But apart from that... me using that... umm... thing just now... It was just supposed to be a quick thing to wear me out and help me fall asleep faster. It was not about you or me not wanting to let you try. It's pretty much just a habit. It doesn't change anything. As soon as you're ready, you can try your heart out, trust me." she giggled while the blush that had crept into her cheeks earlier, took on an even darker shade.

Daryl wasn't faring much better, but at least his anger and doubts slowly dissipated and he was able to chuckle again. "Yeah... "

"Please don't be mad at me. I can't take it." she said on a more serious note again.

"Wasn't mad at you. Was mad at myself I guess." he sighed deeply and rubbed his tired face. "Should go back to sleep."

"Yes, it's late." She smiled and gave him a kiss goodnight. "I'll see you in the morning."

Daryl sighed deeply. He had hoped that she would ask him to stay, but so far no such luck. He gave he another quick kiss, then he trudged back into his bedroom, tossing and turning for the rest of the night, while Rainey fell into a blissful, deep sleep with the help of her pill and finishing herself off.

* * *

><p>"Can I ask ya something?" Daryl asked the minute he had sat down at the table the next morning.<p>

"Yeah. Sure. What's up?" Rainey sat down in her seat after serving them both French Toast.

"Why don't ya never sleep in my bed? Feels weird when ya always run off as soon as we're... well,... done."

"Oh... I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I guess... I think I might not like sharing my bed. I feel like I take up a lot of space at night. I don't want either one of us to have to give up our good sleep."

"I ain't got no good sleep without ya." he stated vehemently, making Rainey freeze and look at him in astonishment.

"What? Oh come on! That can't be true."

"Why the hell not?"

"It's not like we've ever slept in one bed together before and now we're not. You don't know if you would sleep better with me by your side."

"I do know. Remember the first night? When ya fell asleep on the couch and I slept right next to you on the floor? On Christmas? Best night I ever had." he argued with her, his beautiful blue eyes staring at her fiercely

"But you slept on the floor."

"Yeah, exactly. Still was the best. Now imagine what it would be like in a bed. Both of us comfy. You might not even need your meds, cause you slept better too with me there. Ya really don't wanna try?"

Rainey slowly chewed her breakfast and thought about it. Daryl hated her hesitation. It made him nervous beyond belief and he started chewing his lip and tapping his fingers against the table top. "Great. Ya don't wanna try. Just fucking say so." He spat when his patience ran out.

Rainey startled and started to shrink back into herself a little bit. That's the second time he was getting angry with her within a couple of hours. To her it seemed very much like a sign that Daryl was starting to get fed up with her. Her heart ached when she realized that it most certainly meant, that she would be back in her apartment very soon. _Maybe I should just leave right now. Give him back his space._ Tears stung her eyes and she was no longer able to stay at the table and bear him being angry at her again. She got up and quickly went to her room and pulled her duffel bag out from underneath the bed.

While Rainey started packing, Daryl sat with his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. He had no idea what was wrong with him or why he was so impatient. He wanted to make her happy and give her the space she needed, but now he was doing the exact opposite. He just liked her so much, he wanted her with him all the time. If it would be possible, he'd take her to work and have her sit next to him, so he could look at her and talk to her or steal a kiss whenever he felt like it. He couldn't help but feel like he was losing her when she refused to move in or sleep in his room. It made him feel like she wasn't sure yet whether she really wanted this or not. His rational self knew that was not the case, but unfortunately his rational self wasn't always in charge. When it came to things getting more intimate or serious with Rainey, his insecure self was running the show.

"Why did I have to start this shit first thing in the morning?" he cursed himself for his own stupidity while he got up and headed over to Rainey's room. His eyes widened when he saw what she was doing. "Rain... What the fuck are you doing? Why the hell are ya packing?"

"Because of this, Daryl. This right here." She waved her hand around between them. "You're starting to be fed up with me. You need your home to yourself. We shouldn't be together the whole time. Distance makes the heart grow fonder." she tried to fight her tears, but they spilled out anyway.

"You're kidding, right?!" Daryl grabbed the pants out of her hands that she was about to put in the bag. "Didn't ya hear a word I said? I don't want my home to my-fucking-self and if we spend even less time together I might just go damn insane, alright? I want you here. All the damn time. I'm fucking rushing home from work for the first time ever. I try to beat my own record every night, trying to get here the fastest. That sound like I want my damn space?"

"No..." Rainey muttered like a little girl that just got scolded.

"Exactly. So stop this fucking nonsense and put your clothes back in the closet." He started by putting the pants back in there he had ripped out of her hands.

"But I don't understand why you are so angry at me."

"I ain't angry at you, Rain. I'm being an idiot, alright? I told you I ain't perfect and that I do this getting angry shit, right? Told you I had to learn, too." he sighed and dropped down on her bed. He blushed when he tried to explain. "I get worried, you know? And this is how it comes out. Was never taught nothing else."

"Worried?" That certainly surprised her. She had never thought about him having another motive for acting angry and agitated. "What are you worried about?"

"About shit like this happening. That you're gon' change yer mind and leave." he shrugged his broad shoulders and only peeked up at her for a second. "That fucking won't work out, 'cause I don't know shit?"

"It will work out. It's working out already, isn't it? It wasn't nearly as awkward as we thought it might be. We're through the worst where that's concerned. At least that's what I think, but it looks like you're on a different page there."

"Guess I am." he muttered before he cleared his throat and rubbed his hands along his thighs. "Gotta go to work." he kissed her as gently as possible. "I'm sorry 'bout last night and this morning. Wasn't you. Just my stupid shit."

"Okay." she nodded, but was still wearing a little frown, because now she was worried about him and they weren't done talking.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm alright." he gave her a little smile, then he left her alone to unpack again.

* * *

><p>Daryl hadn't wanted to talk any more about it. He hadn't been in a talking mood at all. He barely touched his food at night, but instead he was touching Rainey, rubbing his hands all over her lovely curves, while he kissed her brains out.<p>

"You don't wanna eat some more first?" she pressed out when she was able to move her lips away from his for a moment.

"Big lunch remember? Ain't hungry." he murmured against her lips, while he maneuvered her into his bedroom.

"Alright." she gasped, followed by a loud moan just a moment later, when his fingers had found her their way underneath her bra and were rolling both her nipples simultaneously. "Shit... I don't know what's gotten into you, but I think I like it very much." she breathed and moaned. Something was different about him tonight. She had never felt this kind of urgency coming from him. He seemed like he was a very determined man on a mission.

"Really?" his voice was low and gravelly, making her shiver even more.

"Yes."

He pulled away from her and pulled off his black sweater. "Good." he stated while he looked into her darkened eyes. They were darker than usual, letting him know that she was indeed aroused. He only hoped it would stay that way. He quickly rid himself of his remaining clothing, before he went to work on removing hers. It proved a bit difficult to get Rainey naked, because she was distracted by Daryl's glorious, naked form, and was barely able to take her hands off of him. Thankfully she was wearing sweatpants. He only had to push those down her legs, along with her panties, so she could step out of them.

Daryl slung one arm around her waist and roughly pulled her against him. The hand of his other arm went up into her hair, pulling on it, making her tilt her head to the side, giving Daryl access to lick a long line from her shoulder, up to her ear. He nipped at the lobe. The sensation coupled with the sound of his low growl that reverberated in her ear were making her squeeze her thighs together. She felt like she was already dripping with arousal. She really had no clue why Daryl was so worried about not being able to give her pleasure. Sure, the first few petting sessions had been a bit on the awkward side, but by now, things were going pretty smoothly in that department, and Daryl was always able to get her very "excited". Today was no different. With his arm still slung around her back, he lowered her onto the mattress and then hoisted her up to the middle with a quick yank. Rainey grinned happily. She loved how he was able to do things like that. Daryl chuckled when he saw her expression, before he kissed the grin right off of her face. Their tongues dueled sensually inside her mouth, before Daryl broke the kiss and started to make his way down her body. He licked and nibbled on her neck, sucking lightly at the base, before he placed little kisses across her upper chest. One hand came up, cupping her right breast and pushing it up towards his greedy mouth. He let his tongue slip past his lips, teasing her pale pink nipple by giving it soft little licks, grinning a little when he felt it harden against the tip of his tongue. That's when he parted his lips further and sucked stiff peak into his mouth, letting his tongue play with it while he hollowed out his cheeks and created heavenly suction. With a gasp of his name on her lips, Rainey threaded her fingers through his wild hair, clutching the strands rhythmically in time with his sucks.

Her free hand reached between them, wrapping around his incredibly hard erection, where it was pressed up against her hip. Daryl grunted and released her breast from his mouth. "Nuh-uh." he shook his head slightly while he kissed his way over to her left breast. "Not now." he told her quietly and wrapped his hand around her wrist, pulling her fingers away from his manhood. It made her pause for a moment, but her confusion got quickly blended out by the pleasure he felt, when he gave her breast the same treatment as the previous one. However, she was very aware of what was happening, when Daryl started sliding his hand down her belly. He was nervous, she could feel it in the slow, hesitant movement of his hand, and she couldn't help but feel like he was about to do this in order to prove something to himself.

"You don't have to, Daryl. Not if you're not ready."

"Shut up." he smiled up at her, but it was a nervous smile and his voice was softer than usual, too. She knew that he was probably a nervous wreck on the inside, but she didn't know what to do in order to ease the nervousness he was feeling. To be honest, she was nervous as well right now.

Her breath hitched and she shuddered, when she felt Daryl's warm fingers slide over her soft nether lips. It was an amazing feeling to finally feel his hand down there. Even this, simply having him cup her pussy in his strong hand, felt so much better than her toy ever would. He really had nothing to worry about. If he was willing, he would be allowed to scratch all her itches from now on.

Daryl lost his courage for a moment. Having her most delicate and soft parts fill his hand was an incredibly good feeling. He felt her wetness against his fingertips, boosting his ego quite a bit, but he was still a bit at a loss of what to do now. He hoped that him sucking on her breasts was distracting her from noticing that he was experiencing a moment of being utterly clueless. He gathered his bearings and started pressing his palm against her a little harder. Rainey pushed her hips up, rolling them a little, unconsciously trying to show him how to move his hand. Daryl did pick up on it, but his movements were hesitant and she was not getting the friction she craved. Daryl picked up on that, too, and it didn't help his nervousness at all.

He moved his head back up, kissing her deeply while he worked up the courage to ask her for help. It was something he really wasn't comfortable with, because it was an admission that he didn't know what to do. "Show me..." he pressed out while his face grew red and heated.

Rainey blushed as well, but she knew it was something they just had to get through, as embarrassing as it might be. She reached down and covered his hand with hers. She guided his fingers back up towards her clit, and then slowly circled his knuckles with two of her fingers. "Like this."

Daryl nodded and started moving his middle and index finger in a circular motion, just like Rainey had. He watched her face and started feeling a bit better when her eyes fell shut and she gasped. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." she smiled in a whisper.

Daryl smiled a little and kept up the steady motion while he lowered his head and went back to kissing her. Rainey enjoyed his ministrations and took some more pleasure in letting her hands glide all over his body, feeling up his firm skin and strong muscles. He felt so damn good, she loved feeling how different from her he was. Daryl got a bit distracted when she played with his nipples and stopped moving his fingers for a moment. In the back of his head he wondered how long it would take to bring her to orgasm. It had been a couple of minutes already, but she still didn't seem to be close at all. If it would be him, he would have either already shot his load or he would be extremely close by now. That's when he remembered to move his fingers again. He got curious about what she felt like inside, and moved his fingers down again. He followed the trail of her liquid arousal and when he found her opening, he slowly wriggled his middle finger inside. Rainey released a little moan, and Daryl felt like his brain was going to explode. It was so hot and soft and wet in there, he never wanted to pull his finger back out. Actually, he did, but only to replace it with his throbbing cock. He groaned and started moving his finger in and out of her. Slowly at first, but picking up some speed quickly. He didn't realize right away that Rainey was getting quieter and quieter.

It felt nice having his finger penetrate her, but it wasn't mind-blowing. It was not going to make her cum. She got a little bit frustrated. Not with him, but with losing some pleasure again. She let him do his thing for a while, though. She figured he needed this to explore and learn, and who was she to take that away from him? Once he got over his awe of being inside of her, he soon noticed that Rainey was no longer squirming or moaning. He wanted to slap himself upside the head, because he had heard about pure penetration not being as overwhelmingly pleasurable as it was for guys. He quickly moved his fingers back up and continued with the circular motion, but Rainey's response was not the same as before. His nervousness returned. All he wanted was to make her feel as good as she was able to make him feel, but it didn't look like he was succeeding. He kept going and going. After minutes had passed, he got a little desperate and sped up the motion of his hand, not knowing that it was a bit too much too soon. The jerky, quick movements were uncomfortable and Rainey fought off a wince while she put her hand back on top of his. "Slower." she murmured quietly. At the same time she knew that it was a lost cause now. She felt herself getting anxious, nervous and tense. Not an ideal mindset when you were trying to climax.

_Fuck. Can't do nothin' right. I really can't fucking do it. _Daryl felt himself confirmed when she told him to go slower. He was doing it wrong. To top it all off, she didn't seem to be particularly aroused anymore. Her nipples soft and no new rush of liquid flowing from her body. He had to consciously keep himself from releasing a discouraged sigh.

"Hey..." Rainey smiled at him after breaking their kiss. "Do you wanna... you know... do it?" She was ready. Orgasm or not, she wanted to feel him and have him as close as possible. Also, she wanted this awkward situation to end.

_Hell yeah! _Daryl thought. The prospect of burying himself in that wonderful wet heat of hers distracted him from this miserable failure for a moment. "Yeah." he answered quietly after clearing his throat. "You sure? You didn't..."

"Doesn't matter. I wanna feel you." she said with a smile, trying to show him that she didn't mind that he hadn't succeeded in making her orgasm. "Come here..." she smiled and wrapped her hand around his cock... His **soft **cock. Rainey was surprised and tried not to frown. She hadn't even noticed that he had gone flaccid against her hip. Neither had Daryl, but now he was very much aware that he had lost his erection while he had tried his damnedest to make her cum.

They kissed and Rainey kept gently stroking him, but he didn't get hard. He was too nervous and too disheartened by his failed attempt to make her feel good, that another erection just wasn't happening. Not in that moment. Honestly, he felt like crying when he grasped her wrist and pulled her hand away after a couple of minutes, but he didn't. He just flopped on his back next to her and his his face behind his hands.

_Talk about a fucking train wreck. Shit. That's it. That confirms it. I can't have fucking sex. Just can't. _Daryl thought that it was his first time all over again, but at least back then he had been able to perform. So this was actually even worse than his first time. He wasn't sure if he ever wanted to try to have sex again. Making out seemed to be the best option.

Rainey didn't know what to do. She covered their bodies with the covers, and stared at the ceiling. _Guess my body is not so hot after all. First time we make out completely naked and he isn't getting hard. Yeah, surely that's just a coincidence... Yeah, right. Didn't get hard either when we looked at each other naked. Guess underwear and partially clothed is fine, but naked is a turn off for him. I knew it. _

She fought tears. Instead of crying she cleared her throat awkwardly and reached over to grab their cigarettes. "Smoke?"

"Yeah." came the quiet reply.

Rainey lit them both a cigarette. Both of them smoked in silence, staring at the ceiling and thinking that maybe they simply weren't meant to have sex with another person.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**Once again, don't hit me. These things happen. It would be more unrealistic to me if they jumped right in and everything went perfect and smoothly. **

**Thank you very much for all the lovely reviews and your awesomely kind words. I'm having trouble with the site, so I can't list all my wonderful reviewers this time, but I'm still giving all of you a big shoutout and thank you for being awesome. Until next time! Sorry if there are more typos than usual, tired mommy at work.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It was 3 am and Daryl was still not asleep. Judging by the sounds and the light coming from the kitchen, he was not the only one who was suffering from a bout of insomnia. Rainey had left his room hours ago. Without a word. He had no idea where they stood right now and it was nerve-wracking. He felt like the biggest failure in history and he had no idea how he would be able to face her after what had happened hours ago, but he knew avoiding her was not an option. Also, he didn't even want to avoid her. He knew they had to figure this out somehow, but he had no clue how they would overcome this. This had been, hands down, the single most embarrassing event in his entire life. Not even Merle's habit of verbally putting him down had ever been as humiliating as not being able to make his woman cum and then not being able to get it up on top of that. The only comfort was, that Rainey couldn't possibly more disappointed in him than he was disappointed in himself.

Daryl took three deep breaths, then he sat up and put his t-shirt and sweatpants back on and went into the kitchen on silent and bare feet. Rainey didn't notice him right away, so Daryl just stood in the doorway and watched her drop spoonfuls of dough on a baking sheet. It wasn't too surprising to him that she was choosing to make cookies at 3 am in the morning. It helped her relax, clear her head and think straight. It meant that she would probably be in the mood to talk about it now.

It was him who startled when she turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder. "Can't sleep either, huh?" she asked with the hint of a smile on her face.

"Nah... too much on my mind." he admitted while shyly peeking up at her from between his bangs. He still didn't know where they stood, but her voice made a welcome wave of relaxation wash over him. His tense shoulders slumped a little in relief. She was still here and she was still talking to him. To him, that was a good sign.

"Same here." she said.

"Look..." Daryl started, but Rainey quickly held up her hand.

"Wait... don't say anything right now. I have a lot to say to you, but as you know, I'm not good at talking. My thoughts get scrambled, they are out of order and don't make sense and I tend to leave out important points. So... I wrote you a letter."

"A letter?"

"Yes. I wanted to make sure that I would be able to say everything I want to say. Also I tend to be more open in writing and therefore I thought writing it all down would be the best option. It will also be good for you to just take your time and digest, you know? It's on my laptop over there. It's already opened so you can just take the whole thing with you and read." She said and used her wooden spoon to point at her laptop, which sat at the other end of the counter.

"You're breaking up with me in a letter?" Daryl crossed his arms, taking on a defensive stand.

"What? No! I'm not breaking up with you... Unless it's something you want... I don't know. Just please read it. I promise it's nothing bad or negative or whatever... Take the laptop and read."

"Can't read it here?"

"I'd prefer if you wouldn't look at me while you read it. It would feel weird to me. Would make me anxious again."

"Fine." Daryl uncrossed his arms and grabbed the machine from the counter. He left the kitchen without another word and went back to his bedroom. He put the laptop on his nightstand, then he propped up the pillows against the headboard and got comfortable under the covers before he grabbed Rainey's computer again and put it on his lap. He adjusted the screen and then started reading what she had written.

_Dear Daryl,_

_I hate opening a letter like that, but I guess it's customary to do so, so I'm doing it. Writing is how we started out. It was the right path for us and now it might continue to help us out here and there, whenever some problems (might) come up._

_So, I guess we had a bad experience tonight. Although I wouldn't necessarily call it bad. Awkward? Yes, but not really, like, bad bad. I'm sorry that I just left without saying anything. You know I am not good with these things and I've read countless times before, that a woman should never say something like "It's okay." when a man failed to get an erection. See, I used the word "fail" just now, but I want you to know that what happened, was in no way a failure on your part. I know you by now, and I am pretty sure that you are blaming yourself for what happened. If that is really the case, then don't. You did nothing wrong. You did not fail in any way. That being said, I want to say that nothing I am about to write is meant in a reproachful or otherwise negative way. I just want to explain something to you to maybe ease your mind a bit. _

_Now, my first thought was that my naked body seems to turn you off after all. Then I was able to take my meds and get more mellow and do some thinking and I realized, that we were naked for longer than those couple of minutes when things turned weird, and that you were quite "excited" when I touched you earlier. So I am putting my faith in you and, until you tell me differently, I am going to trust that my naked body wasn't the problem. Regarding everything that happened the night before, when you "caught" me, I think the problem was you putting pressure on yourself. When you came home and were all intense I felt like you were a man on a mission, and I think you made it your mission to give me an orgasm today. (Once again, that's what I assume. You can correct me if I'm wrong after you're finished with the letter).This is where I want to start explaining something to you. _

_First off: Don't put pressure on yourself! Women are fucking complicated. Giving a woman an orgasm is fucking complicated. I am the first to admit that. I can't speak for all women (I know there are women out there who don't have a hard time getting an orgasm at all), but I can speak for myself, my girlfriends and some other women I've met and read about in the past couple of years. You guys don't have it easy with us. It's frustrating for men and women alike, and I think it's important to know, that we didn't choose to be this way. It is just the way it is. Men need sex in order to relax, women need to be relaxed in order to have sex. Or good sex. Giving a woman like me an orgasm requires trust (which I fully have in you), knowing your woman's body and preferences (we're getting there), some skill (getting there, too), and for a lot of things to be "just right". _

_Women like me need to be in the right mindset. Relaxed, carefree, happy... My head has to be in the game, and that is not an easy thing to achieve. My mind never stops racing unless I shut it off with pills. On top of that I have control issues, as you know. Honestly, you didn't stand a chance tonight. I know that sounds horrible, but once again, not blaming you. We should have communicated better with each other, but this was new for us and we were nervous and it just didn't work out right. What you did, the way you touched me, felt wonderful. Well, until you got a little too fast there. It doesn't work like that. It's not like with guys where you can just jump right in and start hard and fast. Women need to be built up. It takes patience and a lot of guys don't have that kind of patience. But I don't think you are one of those guys. You are so generous in every other aspect of life, that I feel like it would be the same during sex. That things took a turn for the worse was my fault. I should have guided you better. I should have shown you and told you more what to do and what I like. You literally asked me to show you, which I did, but only half-assed. I didn't show you the whole deal, because I was too embarrassed to. Then I tensed up and my mind kicked in and then my body just shut down and I knew it wasn't going to happen. That's when I suggested that we have intercourse. That part might confuse you. Why would I want to have sex when you weren't able to give me an orgasm? (At least I felt like you were confused about that for a second.)_

_The thing is, you won't be able to give me an orgasm every single time we have sex or you set out to do so. You just won't. You will have to get used to that fact. Do you know that I sometimes have a hard time giving myself an orgasm? Some days it takes 2 minutes and on other days it takes 30 minutes, even with the help of a toy with strong and unrelenting vibrations. You won't be able to give me an orgasm, not for lack of trying, but because I won't be able to keep from stressing out over things that are not even relevant in that moment. Sometimes when I take care of my own needs it takes forever, because I find myself thinking about the dust on the toilet lid that I forgot to remove. Or the shopping list. Or what ingredients I forgot to buy for my cheesecake brownies. I'm not kidding. Whatever you will be doing to me in that moment will very probably feel incredibly awesome, but I just won't be able to reach the finish line, because my head won't let me. Simone once said something to me, which I think is a great example of how it is. She and her partner could have the exact same sex for two days in a row. On the first day she saw stars, thought she was dying and going to heaven, best sex of her life, etc. Then, on the second day, nothing. No stars, no white light and no orgasm. Why? Because something had gone wrong with some strain in the lab that morning and it was nagging at her in the back of her mind. That's all it takes. _

_So, with me and all my bullshit and control issues, you can see that you might have an exceptionally hard time getting me off. But maybe not. There is no way to tell right now. However, I just want you to know all that and keep it in mind. It might take some time before I am able to fully let go. Days, weeks, months, years (Gosh, I hope it's not the latter two!). We just don't know. But what I do know is, that it won't be because of you. It's all me and my stupid head. I know that you wanna do this and give this to me, and that alone is very, very much appreciated and I wanna kiss you all over for it. _

_Please don't give up. Your touches feel amazing. Sex will still feel amazing, even without an orgasm. Yes, I still want to have sex, orgasm or no orgasm. I want to be close to you and feel you inside of me and all those things. We have to try not to put pressure on ourselves. Maybe if we achieve that, things will fall into place all by themselves. Let's just forget tonight happened. We shrug it off, learn from mistakes, move on and try to do better next time. In this case __**I **__want to do better next time. I want to overcome my embarrassment and really show you what I like. I will most definitely try to do that. Maybe it will help if I take my anti-anxiety meds a bit earlier. It mellows me out and makes my mind shut up. Sometimes they make me a bit sleepy at night, too, but I think it's worth a try._

_That is, if you are still willing to try. If not, I fully understand and I would never push you into doing something you don't want. I just wanted to explain myself and wanted you to know all these things, so it would take some pressure off of you and get you to stop blaming yourself. (If that's what you are doing.) If we have to blame someone for tonight, then that someone is me, because of my lack of communication. We have to work on that. It's a bit embarrassing at first, but I hear it gets easier with time and eventually it will just be second nature. Too bad we can't write letters or Kik messages during sex, huh? Writing is often easier than speaking for me. _

_Oh, and another thing. I still want to do things for you. I told you that pleasuring you fulfills me, and that is still very much true. Don't ever feel obligated to reciprocate. If you want to then go right ahead, but if you don't feel like you're ready, then don't. It's alright. I give you hand jobs (and other kind of "jobs" in the future;-)) with great pleasure, because it's fun for me and I enjoy it. Not because I expect to get the same from you. No pressure. Okay?!_

_I think that's it for now. _

_By the time you read this, there might be fresh chocolate-chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen for you._

_Love, Rainey_

_(again, I hate that, but it's customary, so there you go.)_

Daryl chuckled here and there while he read. _She's too fucking cute. _The letter was a huge relief, and he wished that he would have known all those things before the evening's events had taken place. She was right though. It had happened and now they had to move on and learn from their mistakes. She wasn't the only one to blame. Sex was a two-way street. He should have kept asking her to show him more, but he had lost his nerve just as much as she had. It was good to know that all those stories out there weren't just a cliche invented by frustrated husbands, and that a woman not reaching orgasm wasn't always the guy's fault. He loved that she had been so open about it in her letter. He loved that she had been smart enough to type this thing up in the first place. He definitely had a better understanding of the whole thing now. He didn't know if he would be able to stop putting himself under pressure, because he did want her to cum every time and he wanted to be the one to get her there, but at least now he knew that if he failed to do that, it didn't necessarily had anything to do with him not trying hard enough or doing things wrong. Sometimes there would be nothing he could do. A fact that was hard to accept, but he would have to learn to accept it. Maybe. But there was still a small chance that things might fall into place. The important thing was, that she still wanted him to try. She still wanted him in general. That was really good to know. He knew where they stood now and he was able to breathe easier again.

* * *

><p>Rainey pretty much jumped out of her skin when, out of the blue, a hand reached over her shoulder for one of the freshly baked cookies. "Oh my God!" she yelped in shock and pressed her hands to her racing heart while she dropped her head to the table. "Jesus Christ. That's it. You're getting a damn bell!"<p>

Daryl smirked while he sat down on the chair next to hers. He felt a little sorry for startling her, but he always loved her reaction to it. He couldn't help himself sometimes. "Sorry." he said with his mouth already full of chocolatey cookie.

"Thank God I already took my meds. Seriously, you have to stop being such a ninja."

"Gonna try." he mumbled before he swallowed. "Read your letter."

"I figured." Rainey said while she wrung her hands underneath the tabletop. "I'm sorry if I was wro-"

"You were right about everything." Daryl quickly interrupted her. "Right on the fucking money."

"I figured that, too... but you know... still wasn't completely sure."

"Yeah. Just sucks... I mean even if I got the skills one day, I might not be able to do anything for ya?"

"Yep, that's right. It's true that women are complicated in that sense. And trust me, you guys are not the only ones who hate it. I mean, it would probably happen eventually, but it might take a very long time, lots of build up, and guys don't have an hour or two worth of patience, which, in a way, is understandable."

"I got that. Was good that you wrote that thing." he said and cleared his throat. "But Imma definitely gonna try to have two hours of patience."

That made Rainey laugh. She tentatively reached over and put her hand on top of his. "You're really the sweetest."

"Yeah... until I yell at you again." he scoffed self-deprecatingly.

Rainey didn't respond to that. She didn't like when he did that, but just like her, he still had things to learn. "What now?" she asked instead.

"Dunno 'bout you, but I'm fucking tired now. Let's just sleep and tomorrow's a new day, I reckon."

"Good idea." Rainey agreed to his plan. She cleared her throat and blushed when she took a careful glance at him. "Can I... stay with you...?"

Daryl tried to be nonchalant about it, but he wasn't able to manage that for the life of him. A big smile appeared on his face and he quickly nodded his head yes. "Sure. Yeah." He gripped her hand and got up from his chair. On their way to his bedroom they killed all the lights, and when they had laid down, Rainey snuggled into his side with her head on his shoulder, Daryl felt almost too giddy to fall asleep after all. He was finally getting his wish and he couldn't be happier about it.

They laid there in the dark with their eyes closed. Daryl kept playing with her hair, which made Rainey realize, that he wasn't falling asleep either. After a while her giggle startled him out of his serene, daydream-like state. "You're not sleeping."

"Neither are you." he chuckled quietly.

"True."

"Am I keepin' ya up?"

"No. I don't know what it is. Definitely nothing bad. Just happy. Guess my mind wants to hold on to that for a bit longer."

"Yeah." he acknowledged and fell silent for another moment. "While we're up... and in the dark... can I ask ya something?"

"You don't always have to ask me that first. Just go ahead and ask." she smiled and rubbed his chest gently.

"Gimme some pointers. You know... ahead of next time. What do ya like? What do I do?" his voice was softer again, like every time when he felt shy, embarrassed and vulnerable.

"Good question." Rainey said and was glad that it was dark and he wasn't able to see her red face, although she was sure his was equally red. "I guess every kind of touching is great. But like I said, start out slow and soft." She hesitated and then he heard a little embarrassed laugh. "Can I just text you on your phone?"

"Nah, come on. We gotta learn this shit." he shook her gently with his arm around her shoulders. "Like them teachers back at school used ta say, 'if we can't say that shit out loud, then we ain't old enough to do it'... or something like that."

"Oh yeah, I remember that." she sighed deeply, but she knew he was right. And in the dark was still better than saying it in broad daylight or in the middle of sex. "Okay, this might get a bit clinical... ummm... do you know what... a uuummm... what a... a... " She didn't know why on earth it was so hard to say these things out loud. It was like her mouth was trying to stop working. She literally had to fight to get the words out. "Do you know what a clit is?"

Daryl was equally happy that it was dark, because it hid his crimson cheeks from her view as well. "Errm... yeah. Saw some stuff... read some stuff too the past week or two. That's what I touched earlier, right?"

"Yeah, not directly though." she told him. "Like men, girls can be built very different down there. With some girls, things are pretty hidden... God, it sounds so retarded to say it like that, but they have more of an 'innie' v-... umm, vagina... others have more of an 'outie' and things are maybe easier to find. Me, I'm very much of an innie, unfortunately for you, I guess. What you are looking for is hidden beneath three more layers of girl parts, you know? You have to really get in there, play Indiana Jones or something and probably get a closer look at what you're doing. I don't know." Rainey felt utterly stupid, but she didn't know how else to explain what he wanted to know.

Daryl chuckled and shook her again. "Indiana Jones? I can do that... That's what ya need? Like, free that lil' thing and play with that?"

"Pretty much. Oh, but not directly at first. That's where complicated comes in. It's really sensitive. Twice as sensitive as your... penis... according to studies."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. So direct contact too soon can be uncomfortable and even painful. But I do need direct contact towards the end. I think that's something I'll have to show you then. Or tell you."

"Yeah, probably better. Don't wanna hurt ya."

"What you did earlier was really nice. Just stroking your fingers over the outer parts for a bit is enough to start warming me up, you know? Then the circling thing I showed you... That's always good. I guess you could say that it's good to work yourself from layer to layer the more excited I get? Like, outer lips, inner lips and then direct contact. I think that's a good pointer to keep in mind. Oh, and always keep your fingers wet. I can't stress that enough." Rainey laughed a little, finally getting over her embarrassment a bit more. "Seriously! When you start out and just rub your hand and fingers over the outer parts, dry is okay, but as soon as you get to the inner parts, dry skin-on-skin rubbing is a no-no. Big no-no. Huge no-no."

Daryl laughed as well when he heard in her voice just how important that part was. "Alright, got it. How do I get my fingers wet, if you ain't wet yet?"

"I'm sure I will be. Otherwise you can lick them... or I lick them for you."

"Or I just use my tongue on ya?" he smirked when he felt her shudder.

"Oh my God." she moaned and hid her heated face against his shoulder when vivid images flashed through her mind.

"I saw that on that tumblr thingy. There was that little box that said 'How to finger your girl. Step 1: Use your tongue.' Made me laugh." he chuckled again.

"I remember that. I saw that, too, a while ago."

"That somethin' ya like then?"

"Don't know. Never had anyone go down on me before."

"You give head before?"

"I have."

"Another thing only I have to learn, huh?"

"Don't worry about that. I was very young, Daryl. I'm sure I'm rusty and there are a lot of tricks I never tried before, because I didn't know about them."

"Yeah, just as rusty as you were giving me a tug job? Ya weren't rusty at all, Rain."

"Hey... Don't worry about it. Please? No pressure, remember? We will still figure it out together. I just need to talk to you more until you get the hang of it. Which will be in no time at all, just like with everything else."

"Ya think?"

"I know."

"What about that other spot?"

"The other spot?"

"What's it called... the one inside? G-Spot or something?" He wasn't sure if he remembered it correctly.

"Oh... yeah. That spot. Well,... you might wanna stay away from that." Rainey's blush darkened again when she remembered what had happened when she had explored that certain spot. It had involved having to do a lot of laundry afterwards. She had been mortified, because she had thought that she had peed her bed, until a couple of days later, Anna had explained to her what had happened and that it hadn't been pee. She had also said that Julian said that most guys are totally into that and actually try to get their women to do that, but Rainey had a hard time believing that.

"What? Why?" He was confused as to why she wanted him to stay away from that. He'd seen a video about a week ago and it had been the hottest one he'd ever seen. He had jerked off twice that night while re-watching that thing a couple of times. The girl had gone crazy in that video. She had really let go and had been totally immersed in her pleasure which had culminated in a huge and pretty wet orgasm. He had been fascinated by it and it had caused him to read up on it a little.

"Because sometimes... it makes women... do something."

"I know. Saw it... you tellin' me that you can do that?" His voice didn't betray his smirk.

"Let's not talk about that. Any other questions?" She tried to change the topic, thereby giving him an answer anyway.

Daryl grinned and pressed his mouth against the top of her head. "Hey... if that should happen one day... Would be damn hot, alright?" he murmured into her hair. From what he had read, getting a woman to squirt was kind of a testament to the guy's skills as well as the big trust between the partners. It meant that the woman was really able to let go and trust her partner with her body and her pleasure, and ultimately, that's what Daryl wanted in the long run.

"Oh my God. Are guys really, really into that?" Rainey still wasn't able to believe that.

"Never experienced it for real, obviously. But it looked fucking hot." he told her. "Don't want you to worry 'bout nothing neither, yeah? Whatever happens, happens."

"Okay." Rainey nodded, and quickly added. "And just so you know... I don't mind getting your 'stuff' all over me either... I like feeling it."

"See? Same thing." he grinned and kissed her hair. "We should really try to sleep now. We've been up almost 24 hours now. Don't wanna sleep all weekend." he yawned and snuggled deeper under the covers with Rainey in his arms.

"Right." His yawn was contagious. Rainey yawned as well and when she was done, she felt Daryl's free hand search for her face. He found it and tilted it up so she would meet his lips. They kissed languidly, their tongues coming out to nudge and lick at each other for a couple of times, before they pulled apart and Rainey rested her head back on his shoulder. "Good night."

"Night, Rain."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed this. It was fun for me to write. I thought about adding their next "try", but I liked this better being just a compact chapter of them resolving the issues from the last chapter. Now with next chapter they can kind of start fresh. **

**What did you think? Always love hearing your opinions.**

**Special thanks go out to everybody who takes the time to drop me a line... or a hundred, lol. Please don't ever apologize for long reviews. They are a writer's dream!**

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